So my brain is(n't) weird? (names and memory)

[The Dude]

I'm not as bad you are, but I'm pretty bad with names. If I'm introduced to two people at once, quite often by the time I'm done shaking hands with the second person, the first person's name has escaped me. Like you said, name association and forcing myself to repeat the name over and over are the only ways I know to remember better. Incidentally, I usually forget to do this. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[EvanJC]

[ QUOTE ]
This is probably a pretty common phenomenon but I am absolutely terrible with names.

If I meet someone new, I shake their hand, introduce myself, get their name, but for the life of me I can almost NEVER remember their name. Literally ten seconds after asking their name, it has completely vanished from my memory. The only time I seem to remember names are when the person's name is foreign, or I make it a point to keep asking for their name. I have found that constantly repeating their name, at all available opportunities has helped me remember some people's names.

Some tricks I have found that help me remember someones name are to associate them with someone or something else. For example, someone last weekend introduced themselves as "Banks". After hearing that I immediately associated him with the rapper Lloyd Banks and for some reason his name stuck. If your name happens to be Chris, Mike, Steve, Jason, Sarah, or Julie God help you however, as it seems your name is just too common and I won't for the life of me remember your name.

I think I am the worst at remembering names when it is a girl, with a common name, that I find attractive. For some reason, my brain just spazzes out and the whole interaction just turns into a blur. My brain literally starts scrambling the moment after she tells me her name trying to remember what she just told me.

I have found that a lot of people will remember my name when I make them feel guilty about forgetting my name. Perhaps this is the universal trick that needs to be applied. Make a big deal about how ridiculous it is that they forgot your name and their brain is tricked into thinking it is an important data set that needs to be retained for future access.

I think unlocking the secret to why I have such a problem in remembering names (and how to fix it), yet seemingly have no problem remembering a face; could vastly improve my ability to retain data and information that I don't find interesting, or important, yet would help me in my every day life.

I'm just curious if anyone has had my problem, but managed to find a way to correct this seemingly common brain deficiency. If so, would you care to share some useful tricks or exercises one could learn and apply in the future?

ED: Edited subject to specify which brain weirdness.

[/ QUOTE ]

i'm exactly the same. i also would like to hear about some solutions [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[gwhiz_612]

Hey kipin,
I definitely have the same problem as you. It seems even worse with women because I am thinking of what to say next or how to smoothly communicate with them while they are telling me their name. I think people that conversate well without having to think about what they are going to say probably remember names easier. Heres a link with a process that will help (with some practice of course). Link

[cjmewett]

I think gwhiz's post nails it. Often the problem that I have (and I'm the same way as kipin) is that I'm not really paying attention to what the other person is saying. I'm worrying about the handshake, or smiling, or if they're going to ask me a question, or whatever.

One difference is that I don't think it's a matter of trying to think of what to say next; when speaking another language -- and usually really needing to actually think about my words -- I'm often much better at remembering names. This may be a function of the names being less common and thus more memorable, but I don't think so. I lived in Poland for a year and a half, where probably 90% of people have one of about a dozen names. I rarely had problems remembering which was theirs while there.

[Yeti]

kipin,

It's not just you. With the greetings I'm terrible because I don't think I'm even bothered in making an effort to remember the person's name. I just instantaneously forget it.

I also cannot for the life of me remember this girl's name who I am decent friends with. I probably see her once a week, talk to her occasionally, have been on multiple evenings out with her, have been reminded of her name many many times yet still have no clue.

So don't feel bad.

[The Yugoslavian]

You need to ground the name in some way with an image in your head or an event you've experienced with them.

Like if I say "hi, I'm Peter" you could picture me sitting and eating a pumpkin....much more likely to now remember my name.

Yugoslav

[illusionS]

Yeah this is a pretty common thing. If I remember one out of 15 peoples names that I am introduced to I'd be surprised.

I think I remember from a distant pysc class that it had to do with the fact that you're self conscious when being introduced and worried about looking normal and shaking hands, what you're gonna say next etc.

Repeating their name like Diablo said helps, and apparently so can associating their name with something else about them. For instance if his name is john, think in your head "john with the blue shirt." I imagine it'd help more if it ryhmed like "matt in the goofy hat" or something.

In any event I've never remembered to do either of these things, so I can't exactly vouch for their effectiveness.

[J-Mac]

I am also pretty terrible with names, but FWIW, my name retention abilities improved significantly when I started seriously reading again.

[Howard Treesong]

I have this exact problem when I meet one person alone. When I meet a group of people, however, I'm the exact opposite -- I'm usually 100% remembering a group of names. I think this is because I assume when I meet one person that I should be able to simply remember their name; in contrast, when I meet a group of five people at the same time, I know need to focus on who is who -- and when I do that, I can get names to sink in easily.

There are a zillion mental tricks to use. One of my favorites is to find some slighly odd thing about a person (a loud shirt, facial expression, shoe, or whatever), exaggerate it, and then associate that with their name.

[Josh W]

I don't have this problem (fortunately....knock on wood), but have talked to people who do. One recommendation I heard that seems to make sense is to introduce the new person to others.

For example...you're at a party and meet James. You then tell every friend of yours within arms reach "Hey Diablo, have you met James?"

it's just another version of the "use their name outloud as soon as possible" rule. Plus, this way, there's somebody else who will know the name of the new person, so you can ask them if you forget.

Josh