Stories of avoiding women? (500th post)

[KidLifeCrisis]

I remembered this story earlier for the first time in years. It was my senior year of college. I was an RA, and one of the residents of my building had the hots for me. I was drunk on one of the last nights of my year...I actually got drunk with my (underage) residents because I was pissed at residence life (the RA job people), which is another uninteresting story.

Anyway, this girl was all over me all night, following me from room to room in the building. I'm your average horny guy, but I was in no way attracted to this girl, and I'm a faithful guy regardless of how drunk I am.

Anyway, I'm ready to retire for the night, and I end up locking myself in my room. But I realize I have leftover ribs in my fridge that I want to heat up.

This girl keeps knocking on my door and won't go away, and I want her to think I just passed out drunk. Unfortunately, using my microwave to heat up the ribs would have let her know I was there with the beeping buttons, as there was enough gap under the doors for people to hear noises like that from outside.

I decide to heat them up in the hall bathroom. For me to explain this, I have to show you a basic floor plan. The building was designed like a Motel 6, with my front door leading directly to the outside. I had a back door which led to a shared bathroom, common to 8 rooms total.



So here I am, drunk and hungry, not feeling like I can heat up my ribs in my room without giving away that I'm awake. I get the genius idea of taking my microwave into the bathroom and plugging it in there to heat up my ribs, so I do just that.

As I'm standing there waiting for my ribs to finish, she out of nowhere walks into the bathroom from someone else's bedroom and is like "what the heck are you doing in here with your microwave?" Fortunately I manage to come up with the answer as if it was completely true, stating, "oh, the outlet in my room is all [censored] up, so I just decided to come in here to heat up some ribs."

She bought it, and she wasn't leaving my side. I really just wanted to go to eat my ribs and go to bed, but I didn't want to take my ribs into my room while she was there, cause she'd no doubt follow me. So what did I do? I ate my ribs as disgustingly as I could. I chewed with my mouth open, made sure to rub the sauce all around my mouth, and I tried to get thin bits of meat stuck between my teeth. I was so repulsive, and she STILL wouldn't leave. Ugh, get the hint!!!

Finally, FINALLY, some other resident in the building walks into the bathroom and starts talking to her. I take the moment to say, "well goodnight!", run into my room (without my microwave), and lock the door. She ended up knocking on my back door a few minutes later, but I played the passed out move again until I actually did pass out.

Okay, go ahead and share your own funny stories. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Cliff's Notes: Girl wouldn't leave me alone, and I wasn't interested. She found me in the bathroom with my microwave avoiding her and still wouldn't leave. I ate ribs and made a mess on purpose to scare her off, and she still wouldn't leave. I ran and hid in my room when she got distracted. Share your own funny stories.