Beat : Giving a Eulogy

hoyasnaxa · #1 07-16-2007, 02:56 PM

A close friend of mine died a couple days ago, and his wife asked me to give the eulogy. Has anyone ever given one before? Should I intentionally add humor into the eulogy, or do you think that people would rather not hear that? Any tips or suggestions appreciated.

TomCollins · #2 07-16-2007, 02:57 PM

[ QUOTE ]
A close friend of mine died a couple days ago, and his wife asked me to give the eulogy. Has anyone ever given one before? Should I intentionally add humor into the eulogy, or do you think that people would rather not hear that? Any tips or suggestions appreciated.

[/ QUOTE ]

I did this at my dads funeral. I put a lot of humor in it because he was a huge prankster and liked to joke around a lot. You need to be careful that its tasteful, though. A lot of it depends what he was like, though.

David H · #3 07-16-2007, 02:58 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Should I intentionally add humor into the eulogy, or do you think that people would rather not hear that?

[/ QUOTE ]
I think a funny story is pretty much standard for a eulogy.

4_2_it · #4 07-16-2007, 03:02 PM

How did he die? Was it sudden or long and drawn out? Was he a 'funny' guy? Would people remember him as someone who did a lot of funny things? I'd say it'd be very hard to work in something funny and would just focus on celebrating his life. If there is a funny story that describes him perfectly then MAYBE work that in. People will be very sad and crying (especially if kids are involved) so do not try to 'lighten' the mood.

Sorry about your loss. Just speak from the heart. That's what people need to hear in times like this.

hoyasnaxa · #5 07-16-2007, 03:05 PM

He was a funny guy, or he at least could make people laugh. He had cancer for two years and just withered away over the past month. It was very sad and oddly beautiful to watch him take his last breaths, but I dont think I am gonna say anything about that.

4_2_it · #6 07-16-2007, 03:09 PM

You are supposed to celebrate his life. I think acknowledging that he was full of laughter and enjoyed sharing that gift followed by a brief ancedote is what you are looking for.

hoyasnaxa · #7 07-16-2007, 03:15 PM

I should also add that his family are a fundamental Christians (aka psychopaths) and that as soon as he died they began to yell at his wife and intentionally hurt her feelings. In the eulogy I was planning on saying things about his wife, his friends from home and then college, and just leave out his family. I was pretty close with them before the nite he died, but I was very angry for their disrespect of their sons wife, and it would be hard for me to say anything positive about their relationship with their son at this time. You think thats okay?

superadvisor · #8 07-16-2007, 03:15 PM

Sorry about your loss hoyasnaxa [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

dw2006 · #9 07-16-2007, 03:19 PM

You shouldn't leave his family out of the eulogy even if they aren't very good people. It would be obvious and awkward. A eulogy isn't the time to harbor grudges, mention them in a positive light along with the wife and friends.

Homer · #10 07-16-2007, 03:22 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I should also add that his family are a fundamental Christians (aka psychopaths) and that as soon as he died they began to yell at his wife and intentionally hurt her feelings. In the eulogy I was planning on saying things about his wife, his friends from home and then college, and just leave out his family. I was pretty close with them before the nite he died, but I was very angry for their disrespect of their sons wife, and it would be hard for me to say anything positive about their relationship with their son at this time. You think thats okay?

[/ QUOTE ]

I wouldn't leave them out entirely, just mention them briefly and don't stretch the truth (for example, saying "his family loved him deeply" is a fact, even if they are nuts).