My brother lost his house, his car, and his kids - advice needed. - Page 4

Jimmyjohn · #31 05-15-2006, 09:46 AM

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uh - yeah - so if anyone knows anything about the bankruptcy issues or the filing for unemployment or other type of aid, I would be very thankful for information.

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All the things you are proposing are called "enabling". You try to "fix" things in his life because of a lot of noble reasons, but the end result is that you enable him to continue with his life as he has done in the past.

I do urge that you attend Alanon, which is a "branch" of Alcoholics Anonymous for family and friends of alcoholics.

I even more strongly urge you to go to several AA meetings. Ain't nothing like the truth, and they will tell you the truth. You will have an opportunity (but not obligation) to introduce yourself and state your purpose for being there. I urge you to do so early on in a meeting and you probably are going to be deeply gratified at the responses you get.

You need to go outside this forum for the answers you seek.

All the best,
Jimmyjohn

KaneKungFu123 · #32 05-15-2006, 10:01 AM

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KKF you are neither funny nor clever. Who are you trying to impress. Stop being so god damn unsympathetic and get the [censored] out of the thread.

To the OP, i wish you and your brother the best. Keep us posted.

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Oh great, another democrat .

mslif · #33 05-15-2006, 10:08 AM

Tough position to be in, family should be everyone's priority.
First regarding child support, he cannot get away from that. He will have to pay no matter how much he makes. He can file for an adjustment but the "potential" earnings clause will bite him in the butt.
Second, I think all of us here who are older than 25 have been through rough times. The best thing you can do is give him moral support. Do not help him financially, I know this is hard to do but he needs to get out of this on his own. He is the one that needs to research ways out of debts and out of the mess he is in.
Third regarding his addictions, again there is nothing you can do. He has to seek help on his own.

jon_1van · #34 05-15-2006, 12:37 PM

Sadly, I think you need to abandon your brother. It is true that something "bad" might happen to him.

But he'll never improve with you around. Because, "if he's still got you, it can't be so bad right?"

Let your brother sink or swim, don't give him stupid little arm floaties are just helpful enough to keep him from learning anything.

illeagle · #35 05-15-2006, 01:19 PM

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I dont think there is really much you can do to help him except to offer moral support and encouragement.

If I were in your shoes I would quickly go to an Al-anon meeting and otherwise educate myself about alcoholism.

Al-anon

I hope things work out for you and your brother. I wish you both the best.

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Isn't that a Scientology organization?

miajag · #36 05-15-2006, 01:20 PM

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KKF you are neither funny nor clever. Who are you trying to impress. Stop being so god damn unsympathetic and get the [censored] out of the thread.

To the OP, i wish you and your brother the best. Keep us posted.

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Oh great, another democrat .

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I laughed.

Girchuck · #37 05-15-2006, 03:30 PM

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I dont think there is really much you can do to help him except to offer moral support and encouragement.

If I were in your shoes I would quickly go to an Al-anon meeting and otherwise educate myself about alcoholism.

Al-anon

I hope things work out for you and your brother. I wish you both the best.

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Isn't that a Scientology organization?

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No, the Scientology outfit is Narcanon