Are large weddings worth the money?

[coltrainSTL]

Re: Are large weddings worth the money?

Is this a trick question?

/all weddings are a waste of money,obv.LDO

[TheBlueMonster]

Speaking as someone who got married last Tuesday and attended another last night, I can say that expensive doesn't mean better. Last night my new wife and I attended a wedding at the Ritz-Carlton in DC which cost easily around 100k. Our wedding wasn't on a shoestring budget, but it was waaaaaaaay less (you'd have to ask her father how much exactly). Everyone we've spoken to, including the videographer who did both weddings, has said that ours was much more beautiful and fun.
A great wedding happens because of the people involved. If the majority of people invited are your age or close family friends, people tend to cut loose more and have a much better time. At my wedding the food was good but not overly fancy. The bar wasn't super stocked with only top shelf liquor. We had around 250 people and a third of that were our friends. And half of the remaining "older" people were good family friends. There were very few awkward or uncomfortable people. People spent more time dancing than eating and once the reception started the bar was barely used (pretty amazing considering there were around 90 people there between the ages of 20 and 26)
Spend what you can afford, but don't bankrupt yourself. Just make sure you invite people that are close with you/are fun.

[RicoTubbs]

I got married at the St. Regis in Washington, DC. I'd guess that the total ran between 50k-70k. I would never have spent that much money had it been my checkbook, but my wife's parents had been saving up and looking forward to it forever, so that's how it happened.

I had a fantastic time, the food and band were great, and I think my wife's parents were very happy with it. Oh, and the tasting menu at the St. Regis (where you sample basically every appetizer, entree, and dessert they offer to pick your actual wedding menu) was probably the best "meal" I've ever had.

[Tweety]

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What cultures still have the bride's parents spend the dough in these situations? And do they pay like 80%, or the whole deal?

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This is what I've been wondering. Not a single person in this thread yet has said that parents (typically bride's) have paid for their wedding (someone mentioned a portion was paid). Are parent funded weddings almost completely non-existent these days?

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Not at all. Parents very commonly pay for weddings. The old school rule is that the bride's parents pay, but obviously when a rich guy marries a not so rich girl, this gets thrown out the window.

In my case, my wife's mother is a divorced school teacher, so she wasn't in a position to pay. My parents have plenty of money, but I told them I didn't want them to pay. They probably would have if I asked them to, but for some reason I felt better just picking up the tab myself.

In any event, it's all the same pocket at the end of the day. Whether you spend x out of your pocket or your parents', you're other spending your current money or your future money (provided your parents don't [censored] you over in their will).

[Tweety]

I'm of the understanding that when people state the cost of their wedding, the ring costs are not included.

If so, I spent more than $30k.

[sethypooh21]

Grunch.

Generally speaking, no. I mean, if you and/or parents are filthy rich, then yeah, go all out, but going into debt for a big wedding seems self-defeatingly stupid.

[Cubswin]

I havn't read all the replies by I'm all in favor of small destination wedding. My fiance and I are planning on getting married on Isla Mujeres off the coast of Cancun June 2008. Hoping Dean doesnt do too much damage to Isla, but even if it does it will be up and running way before Cancun based on the history of Wilma.

We set a budget of 12-15k which will include DJ (most likely doing things from an ipod as our taste of music is all over the place), mariachi band, dress, rings, linen suit, private use of a beach club for 7 hours, steak and lobster dinner, lots of apps, open bar, flowers, favors, our hotel and travel. I will probably splurge and also charter a couple of deep sea fishing boats for a day which will bump up the budget a bit. There is no way we could do this in the states for anywhere near this money.

[Tweety]

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going into debt for a big wedding seems self-defeatingly stupid.

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Agree 100%, but many Americans do just this.

This was sort of the impetus for the OP.

I'm actually surprised by how many posts claim they had a great wedding with 150-250 people (several different examples) for under $20k. I honestly never in a million years thought this could be done.

Granted I live in Manhattan, so my perception of what things cost is warped, but I have been to plenty of weddings in middle-America and I have never heard of someone wining and dining 200 people with a band, photographers, cake, flowers, etc, for under 20k.

Around here it costs anywhere from 75-250k for a 200 person wedding, possibly more.

[Shoe]

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round here it costs anywhere from 75-250k for a 200 person wedding, possibly more

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Around here, that is just a down payment for a house, that is a house. Or a parking spot in Manhatten [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[KUJustin]

I believe the stat is 50% of marriages fail, not 50% of people get divorced. This is relevant because I think a large wedding is most likely a first wedding and therefore has a much higher success rate.

Also I'd be interested in the divorce rates across income brackets. I can't make up my mind on which side would have more.