Dirty Text Messages...

[liquidboss]

In my life I've found IM and SMS to be a good way to get girls to open up and be a little more dirty than they would be in person. If you don't do this you are missing out as women are very cerebral when it comes to who they sex, if you can get thier mind stimulated with few words they are yours for the taking. There are obvious reasons for it but recently it has got me in trouble.

A few of my ex's still send me a dirty text now and then. I've had a excellent woman for 4 years now and although I've done my best to hide these text messages from her (not because I'm cheating but just because she doesn't want to see that stuff,) twice now she has had my phone when a message comes through and I've had to explain that I didn't do anything wrong. Keep in mind I have not sent a dirty message to this girl since we broke up, but have sent the occasional "how ya doin, how's so and so" type stuff a few times.

Then, one day when my current girlfriend actually had my phone without me around my ex sent "hey, I need a favor..." my girl was wondering why my ex was sending me a message as we don't often talk. I have had a reputation of being a cheater in the past (I was cheating on the ex with my current girl) so she thought she would set a little trap for my ex by replying vaguely:

"oh yeah? What's that?"

My ex then replied 1 minute later with this gem:

"My ass needs a good [censored] ing"

Obviously this did not make my girlfriend happy and she replied with some standard stay away from my man type [censored] that was fairly mean but completely warranted to a woman trying to bang her boyfriend. When I saw my girl later that night I got a nice confrontation as she tried to figure out if I was cheating on her or what the situation was. She is pretty level headed and I was able to convince her that I am not banging my ex (I am not,) but it's not a situation I enjoyed and would not like to repeat it. I called my ex and talked to her about not doing this anymore so I don't get in trouble and she agreed, but she doesn't seem to be able to help herself.

Since then, I have received a text message from my ex about every month, usually just "how's it going" and tame things like that that I have mostly not replied to. When I do reply she offers to blow me or tells me how bad she wants me to come over and hurt her. A few years ago I probably would have jumped at a girl being this dirty, but I guess I'm getting wiser in my old age and I've had that pussy enough anyway. Mostly I tell her to please stop so I don't get in trouble but that doesn't seem to be working anymore as the messages are getting more frequent.

This last week my phone was sitting on the counter next to my girl as she was cooking and the buzzer goes off. My girl picks it up to hand it to me and see's the ex's name and the message, "Happy Friday, wanna [censored]!!!" She goes ballistic but isn't really mad at me, I obviously wasn't talking to her and and I didn't ask for it. I have to calm her down to keep her from firing off a barrage

So OOT, here's what I need. Firstly, I'd like some advice on options I may have short of changing my number. I have had this number for a long time and really don't want to change it. If it comes down to losing my girlfriend over it obviously I'd change the number, but at this point she is not asking me to change it and I'd rather not. The only other option I can think of is to go bang my ex until she cries, but that will probably just make her want it more a week later. I can live with getting a dirty text every so often, but the few times a year my girlfriend sees one is not fun. Any other ideas?

Second, go ahead and post any stories of SMS or IM hilarity as well, I like hearing how people get themselves in trouble with dirty text messages. It's also always been interesting to me that there is no way to reject SMS from a specific person, especially since they can cost you money when they come in. If you have any stories of unwelcome text messages feel free to share.

Cliff Notes: Ex-girlfriend is sending me dirty text messages asking for sex. My girl doesn't like it...