Pregnant GF

[Blarg]

No it's not. As I noted, some parents are a misery on their children. As a kid who was raised in a family that took in counless foster kids over the years, and as a stepkid myself, I've got tons of real life experience in seeing exactly that.

There's all the difference in the world between being a parent and being a good parent. And it matters enormously.

You can certainly be an unloving, resentful, unkind, even scary parent. Even if you live in the same house. They happen all the time. Really they do.

An option that might be just as good would be to support the kid but split the vicinity. At any rate, certainly none of us knows how things would turn out, so it isn't correct to presume we do.

[BCPVP]

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... a promise is still a promise.

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Blarg, according to the OP, all they did was talk about this. I don't see any mentioning of promises. Someone mentioned the difference between those hypothetical questions about killing a baby to stop hunger and actually having a baby handed to you with a knife, which seem spot on, imo.

That's part of why I think some of the replies in this thread are so scummy. People not owning up to the consequences of their actions piss me off. The selfishness is mindboggling.

[jman220]

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Man this mod forum post in question has tons of nude chicks!

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Do you know where Mat found those Scarlett J pictures? OMFG.....

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It's really annoying when mods hijack a thread like this. No one cares about the secret mod forum.

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they're just taking out their anger in humor - they have to read nation's [censored] all the time there

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It's a little from Column A, little from Column B.

Plus, Homer, you're lying about not caring wrt the mod forum.

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Plus homer hijacks oot threads and turns them into [censored] bicker fests all the time.

For op,

That situation sucks, no idea what you should do.

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I thought you had me blocked.

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I do. I only read your posts in kyleb's quote.

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Then how did you respond to this one?

[donkeylove]

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Btw - to the rest of you "man up" guys

Go find a young professional poker player

And tell him to keep calm and controlled and win a living for the next 7 months while his emotional, pregnant girlfriend is freaking out in the next room.

And tell him that if he doesnt succeed, not only will he be poor and miserable, but his girlfriend and child will as well.

"Manning up" might work for some factory worker who has no ambition in life, and is just going to eventually have kids anyway.

It is a much different story for me - no stable job, risky income, young, inexperienced, and needs to stay emotionally stable to even have a chance at making enough money to support 3 people.

I'm ok with putting my own financial future at risk. But when the consequences of my risky job effect other lives, it becomes much harder to concentrate.

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There is always a way. You may have to work a bad job while playing poker on the side. Your path has changed but you can easily be a great success in life still. You can still finish school,get a great job, and do all the things you want in life. Just calm down and be tough. Your a man and you can deal with it.
Twenty-two is not16 even though it seems to young people like it is.Your able to support your child and your girl if you choose to stay with her. People are feeding their children in 3rd world countries so you can do it in America. Obviously this wasn't your plan,but here you are and you can deal with it. Your life feels over but no one has died,and what now feels like a curse will end up a blessing. Good Luck.

[Uncle_Billy]

It's done, and regardless of how fair it might/might not seem, it's ultimately her body so her call, so you gotta suck it up and take responsibility for what to do next. Whatever that means - have baby with her and stay with her, have baby and leave her but support her & baby, have baby and give up for adoption, or somehow both agree to abort - these are your only real options here IMO...

Many have said this, but again there are positives to be found here with most / all of these options... it doesn't look that way now because you probably haven't come to grips with it yet and want things to be the way they were. But it's too late for that... regardless of how this plays out, your life won't be like it was last month. It's changed, so accept it - here you are.

Prayers that you come to terms with this and make a decision that's right for you / her / baby, and one that you won't tear you up down the road... you and she are now tied together regardess of how it plays out. Pray a lot and have a heartfelt conversation with her... best of luck dude.

And if you guys decide to push on and stick it out together, post here...

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showfl...&PHPSESSID=

[Butso]

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No it's not. As I noted, some parents are a misery on their children. As a kid who was raised in a family that took in counless foster kids over the years, and as a stepkid myself, I've got tons of real life experience in seeing exactly that.

There's all the difference in the world between being a parent and being a good parent. And it matters enormously.

You can certainly be an unloving, resentful, unkind, even scary parent. Even if you live in the same house. They happen all the time. Really they do.

An option that might be just as good would be to support the kid but split the vicinity. At any rate, certainly none of us knows how things would turn out, so it isn't correct to presume we do.

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Because the OP is annoyed with his gf that she has "changed her mind" he will be resentful, unloving, etc to his child? I don't know about this tbh, but even if so I think adoption >>>running.

There are plenty of potential good parents out there who will be able to do a better job than OP's gf can on her own (based on what I've read in this thread) and offer the kid a better environment, opportunities, etc.

[Bulbarainey]

whatever you do man, just get out of that town, if not now, youre going to get stuck there. look for jobs in LV, im sure youll find something, and if you have the kid, its not a bad place to raise a family anymore.

[Blarg]

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No it's not. As I noted, some parents are a misery on their children. As a kid who was raised in a family that took in counless foster kids over the years, and as a stepkid myself, I've got tons of real life experience in seeing exactly that.

There's all the difference in the world between being a parent and being a good parent. And it matters enormously.

You can certainly be an unloving, resentful, unkind, even scary parent. Even if you live in the same house. They happen all the time. Really they do.

An option that might be just as good would be to support the kid but split the vicinity. At any rate, certainly none of us knows how things would turn out, so it isn't correct to presume we do.

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Because the OP is annoyed with his gf that she has "changed her mind" he will be resentful, unloving, etc to his child? I don't know about this tbh, but even if so I think adoption >>>running.

There are plenty of potential good parents out there who will be able to do a better job than OP's gf can on her own (based on what I've read in this thread) and offer the kid a better environment, opportunities, etc.

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I'm not so much saying one thing is better than another than insisting that there is more than one option and that just because one option strikes someone as an obvious favorite, there might be a lot more to it than meets the eye. Most of all, it seems this issue should be really thought about rather than reacted to reflexively, and a solution shouldn't be proposed just because it fits easy, comfortable notions. The stakes are much too high to parrot back notions we simply like the sound of and apply to every situation without a lick of what is really honest thought or remorse.

As to your not knowing if a father who doesn't want a child can be a poor child, well, this is both completely obvious on its face and, in my extremely extensive experience growing up in a house full of these kids and seeing the results, something real and not open to speculation. It's quite possible to be one miserable SOB of a father if you're not ready for it.

And again, as to adoption, you are quite wrong. There are far more babies needing adoptive parents than there are adoptive parents to take them. What children are adoptable tend to be the ones freshly popped out. By far the most popular are the blondes with blue eyes. Every month older the child gets, his chances drop; the difference in adoptability between a one and two year old is great, and between one of those and a brand new baby is greater still. Adopting across races can be done, but on the one hand isn't terrifically popular compared to adoption within a race and in some places is restricted. There are actually "helpful" people out there going around trying to preserve their race, whatever that means, by making sure some kids cannot be adopted because they have had the bad luck to bump into potentially loving parents who are the "wrong" race.

It is not easy to get adopted. And there are people out there actively trying to make it harder while pretending they really give a damn about the kids.

[Wilpro]

If she won't have an abortion just move on, leave her behind.
Why would you want to be stuck bringing up a kid in a craphole town for the rest of your life, just see it as planting your seed, you don't need to be around to see it grow up.

You play poker for a living so can pretty much live anywhere in the world, you only lived 1/4 of your life, why waste the other 3/4 on this crap!

[WillMagic]

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Gf just came back from the OBGYN and has pics of it now. 8 weeks 2 days and healthy.

She has now made it very clear that abortion and adoption are out of the question.

I have no [censored] clue what I'm going to do now...

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She's gone back on her word and given you an ultimatum. These are not the actions of a person who respects you.

End the relationship and leave town.