Ask me about growing up with a Bi-Polar parent

[Fishwhenican]

I grew up with a mother who was full blown Bi-Polar. It started when I was born in 1960, I do think I was the direct cause but who knows! [img]/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img] My Mom was diagnosed as having depression in the early days and it wasn't until later that they came up with the Manic-Depression thing which was later renamed Bi-polar. She went through a lot of different things including drug therapy, group therapy, many many psychiatrists and even the barbaric electric shock therapy. I am pretty convinced that in the early days the doctors really did not have any kind of good grip on this kind of stuff and were doing a lot of guessing and experimenting to try and help people with these type of problems. the only thing that finally brought some sort of normalcy for any length of time was when she was finally put on Lithium. That was a wonder drug as far as I was concerned. Of course balancing how much and in what combination of other drugs she was taking was always an interesting dance.

When I was younger I never really knew that there was anything wrong with my mom. There were times when we were sent to stay with grandparents for the summer and I never really knew anything different until later on when I learned that these times were when my Mom had been committed to the psych ward and in the hospital. As I got older I started noticing more and more and realizing that my mom just wasn't quite the same as my friends mom's. Most of the time things were normal but when my mom would have episodes things would go from her being depressed, not wanting to get out of bed, do anything and ultimately trying to commit suicide to being wildly manic tearing the house apart never finishing anything before tearing apart the next part of the house. As far as I know taking a mound of pills was her preferred method of trying to kill herself. If there were other ways I am either not aware of them, don't remember or was never told.

The scariest thing I went through was during one of her Manic moments when I was older and was going through the phase where I actually thought I could use reason with her to get her calmed down. She was tearing things apart and was inthe kitchen at the time. I do not remember exactly what the conversation was but the end of it was her with a kitchen knife in her hands and a very wild look in her eyes. I knew we were on the edge of her coming after me with that knife and managed to somehow steep things clear of that. Don't remember exactly how but I distinctly remember being very afraid, combined with a good bit of teenage anger that my own mother would try to do something to hurt me.

The weirdest thing I can remember right now would have to be the phone calls from her when she was in the hospital and pleading to have me come and get her out. She would cry and be hallucinating, stuff like bugs on the walls and coming out of her body were common. Visiting her in the various psych wards was also a pretty darn weird experience. Not just her actions but all of these other people that would be there doing strange things and walking around completely drugged up behaving like zombies

A lot of my early childhood memories are either non-existent, very fuzzy or just in brief snippets of time. Some of this I am sure is like a car accident where the victim has no memory of the accident. So, if I do not have a lot of detail on some of the things, I apologize and will do my best.

My sister and I never talked a lot about the things going on until later in our lives after we were out ofthe house and well on our own. But we found many common things that we thought were only our own that we both thought and experienced. Stuff like not having nearly as many childhood memories as other people. The constant fear of this disease hitting you as well and therefore being very emotionally withdrawn and trying to keep emotions on an even keep all the time. Stuff like that.

We both eventually got old enough to be out on our own and we got out as quickly as we could. My mom was a complete pain to be around. Some of it was the disease some of it was just her using that as an excuse to be a pain in the azz to other people. there was a lot of stuff that she did where she knew what she was doing but just didn't care that it was causing grief for other people. An example of this would be the way she craved attention and thought she should be waited on hand and foot. She was in her glory when she was in the hospital and people were waiting on her. This happened even to the point where she actually faked a condition where she was supposedly not able to pee. She ended up in the hospital being "cathed" in order to pee. The doctors were even convinced that this was real and were suggesting surgery or permanent stay in a skilled nursing facility. I ended up getting a call from the nursing home she was in (my dad had passed away about a year before this) telling me that they suspected she was faking it within a couple of her being moved moved there from the hospital. I had to go and meet with her and the people at the nursing home and I told her that her options were basically surgery, staying in the nursing home. She didn't like either of these options so I told her the only other answer was for her to start peeing. Her response was that she would have ot pray for a miracle. Magically, she started peeing that night was was fine from then on!

there is a lot more I could write but I hope that gives people an idea of what life was like. I will answer all questions I can. I am certainly not a doctor but I have some pretty good opinions on this disease based on first hand experience and much study I have done over the years.

Mom is gone now, she passed away a couple of years ago. I hate to say this but I do not really miss her and life is not nearly as complicated for anyone who was involved with her. I know this is a horrible thing to think about one's own mother but sadly it is the truth.

So, Fire away!