How to finish 2nd to last as an alternate

[Tom Bayes]

I visited the poker room in the new casino in French Lick, Indiana a few days ago. I arrive at the poker room right at the stroke of noon. They are seating a daily $75 NLHE freezeout tournament. I ask and they say it's sold out at 50 players but they are taking alternates. I figure someone will bust quickly in a cheapo B&M MTT with a quick structure and I'm alternate #1.

Sure enough, a player busts on the very first hand, losing with QQ to AK. I'm seated. We start with 1500, blinds start at 25/50. On my first hand, a guy raises to 300 in EP. I'm in the cut-off and I look at AA. I jam. This is the very first hand I've ever played in this room, so I'm an unknown. Guy has no idea if I have a monster or if I'm a joker pushing with any 2 and finally calls with his TT. He flops a ten, does a douchey fist pump, and I finish 2nd to last place as the first alternate.

I double my buy-in playing BJ until a seat opens up at a $2/$4 LHE game. Everyone else is telling stupid beat stories, so I tell this one. Old nit sitting next to me shakes his head and tells me (in a completely serious tone) that I just haven't played enough poker yet and that AA is a bad hand early in tournaments. I ask him how he would have played the hand, expecting him to tell me to call and see what the flop brings (in this case, I'd have to make a miracle read on a guy I've never seen before on a T62 rainbow flop). No, even better. He tells me that he would have mucked AA early in a tournament, because it loses 8 of 10 times and it's not worth it. It's OK to play AA late in tournaments, but not early. I ask him to tell me what hand I'm waiting for. He tells me I'll know better once I play more poker.

A few minutes after this lecture, old nit limps in to a multi-way pot. Flop comes 89T of spades. He shows me red AA as he mucks, snickering "you wouldn't have done that".