Child Raising - Discipline issues

[youtalkfunny]

I'm 40. I was hit plenty, but can't name a single incident where I didn't deserve it.

The worst part of my childhood is that all the hitting led to lying. I didn't want to get hit, so I denied everything, every time. Stepping up and accepting responsibility did nothing towards getting a lighter punishment, and getting caught in the lie did nothing to increase the punishment. I lied non-stop.

I even started lying about trivial things. Lying became my way of life.

Now I'm older. I hate lying and liars. I hate lying liars.

My kids are now 10, 9, and 8. There is almost no hitting. We talk about hitting a lot. The threat is always there, and they know that it's not an empty threat.

But the belt only comes out for two offenses: blatant disrespect, or lying. In either case, the child is given verbal warnings to fix the problem before the belt comes out (because I really don't want to hit the kids). I'd estimate that the belt comes out less than once a year.

When they were in diapers, light hand-slapping or spanking was more common. Once the boundaries were established (and respected), the hitting quickly became unnecessary.

It is very, very important to note that although hitting is a crucial part of my child-rearing plan, it is an extremely SMALL part of it. It is one tool in the toolbox. It's the tool at the bottom of the box, the one you almost never use--but when it's needed, it's invaluable.

My standard disclaimer in all my parenting posts: Yeah, my kids are thriving, and I deserve much of the credit for that...but they're not teens yet. The true test of my so-called expertise still lies ahead. Right now, I'm the best hitter in the minor leagues--but I've yet to face big league heat.

(I wonder if there's something Freudian about choosing the word "hitter" to describe my parenting skills.)