Need advice on how to scratch my butt when I 'can't'

[Howard Beale]

[ QUOTE ]
If it's just the cheeks then what's the big deal? Just [censored] scratch it and if anyone says [censored], just be like my buttock was itchy what's the beef? You want a scratch?

[/ QUOTE ]

Act one, scene one of 'SmokeyRidesAgain about to get the job of his life: The movie'.

Interior of Morton's, The Steakhouse. Camera slowly zooms in on table of 4 where SmokeyRidesAgain is meeting potential employers for his dream job that will pay $2,000,000/yr. During conversation SmokeyRidesAgain says: 'My butt is itchy' and he scratches his butt.

End of movie.