Emotional Affairs

[Mr. Philosophy]

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Now, in your world, this girl made some conscious choice to treat her boyfriend like crap and to engage with another man while he sat outside. But, I highly doubt it ever even crossed her mind. I sparked attraction and it was simply "on".

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Maybe she was a bit drunk and feeling really amorous. That's the only thing I can think of. My rational mind can be bypassed by my emotional horny side if I'm drunk and then I do things I would never dream of doing sober. (this is why I don't do shots in public anymore [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img])

Or maybe it had been a long time since a good looking guy had ogled her so openly and she was digging it and perhaps the guy she was with wasn't even her boyfriend so she followed you.

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Someone's rational mind can be bypassed even when sober. I think that was the point Cobretti was trying to make in his example. However in his example the girl was more of a whore than anything else.

I think a better example of loss of rational thought would be the emotional friend attempting a kiss. I just finished reading this thread and remember you saying Katy if an emotional friend kissed you that you would tell the person to back-off. However, if you were very attracted to this individual and the time came when he kissed you, can you say for certain you would push him away? I think most of us say we will, however saying something and doing something are two different things. I believe most people do not want to cheat on their spouse, but its situations like the one I outlined that causes individuals to cheat. Attraction can make our rational thought process disappear. Also, I am not saying everyone will cheat, but I am saying temptation is a powerful force that should never be underestimated.

[katyseagull]

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However, if you were very attracted to this individual and the time came when he kissed you, can you say for certain you would push him away? I think most of us say we will, however saying something and doing something are two different things. I believe most people do not want to cheat on their spouse, but its situations like the one I outlined that causes individuals to cheat.

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You might have a point Mr.Philosophy. If I was very attracted to the guy and we were in a hotel in Vegas and he kissed me I would probably not push him away at all. It really depends on the setting and exactly what I want out of the relationship. If I wanted to pursue an affair I guess I wouldn't push him away.

But most likely I would freak out because I'm in a relationship and it would have crossed the line and there's guilt and everything. I'm actually pretty loyal. The difficulty would be if it was in a setting like a casino in Vegas and I was 1000 miles away from my guy and drinking some strong drinks then I would probably not be feeling such guilt. I probably wouldn't push him away as I would find it very enjoyable and I'd be excited. I see what you're driving at. Man just thinking about this in an honest way is making me feel guilty. And I haven't even done anything [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[Cobretti]

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But most likely I would freak out because I'm in a relationship and it would have crossed the line and there's guilt and everything.

[/ QUOTE ]There is a term in the industry for this called ASD (anti-[censored]-defense). If you trip it in a woman you are done because she will freak out and stop out of guilt or out of worry about how she will be perceived. But, if you do it right a woman's ASD will not go up and everyone involved will enjoy your self immensely [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

For example, if you say to a girl (especially an attached girl), "hey, lets go up to my room and have sex" you are very likely going to trip the ASD and she will object even if she desperately wants to have sex with you. But, if you say, "Hey. You have to check out the view from my room" she will likely not object if she is interested and her ASD will not be tripped even if she kinda knows your intentions. You have given her plausible deniability for her own mind.

[tarheeljks]

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I see what you're driving at. Man just thinking about this in an honest way is making me feel guilty. And I haven't even done anything [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

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i was having similar issues earlier, it really tilted me [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]