|
|
#1
04-22-2007, 07:15 AM
|
|||
|
|||
Poker quotes
Please post your favourites as well. I am gathering quotations related to poker. Any help would be appreciated.
Below are many poker quotes i have gathered, (p.s. - There are some repeating quotes as I didnt have the time to edit anything at the moment. I am working and just reading them. I am looking for more and when i am able to build a decent library, i will take some time off work and edit them post a final copy in the forum. I apologise for any inconvience.) Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. ~Seven Wright The guy who invented poker was bright, but the guy who invented the chip was a genius. ~Author Unknown If, after the first twenty minutes, you don't know who the sucker at the table is, it's you. ~Author Unknown Is it a reasonable thing, I ask you, for a grown man to run about and hit a ball? Poker's the only game fit for a grown man. Then, your hand is against every man's, and every man's is against yours. Teamwork? Who ever made a fortune by teamwork? There's only one way to make a fortune, and that's to down the fellow who's up against you. ~W. Somerset Maugham [Poker] exemplifies the worst aspects of capitalism that have made our country so great. ~Walter Matthau Your best chance to get a Royal Flush in a casino is in the bathroom. ~VP Pappy There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush." It is enough to make one ashamed of the species. ~Mark Twain The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; it happens at the poker table all the time. ~David Shoup I must complain the cards are ill shuffled till I have a good hand. ~Jonathan Swift "How long does it take to learn poker, Dad?" "All your life, son." ~Michael Pertwee Poker: the art of civilized bushwhacking. ~Nick Dandalos, attributed Poker is the game closest to the western conception of life, where life and thought are recognized as intimately combined, where free will prevails over philosophies of fate or of chance, where men are considered moral agents and where - at least in the short run - the important thing is not what happens but what people think happens. ~John Luckacs Cards are war, in disguise of a sport. ~Charles Lamb In a game of poker, I can put the players' souls in my pocket. ~Beausourire I believe in poker the way I believe in the American Dream. Poker is good for you. It enriches the soul, sharpens the intellect, heals the spirit, and - when played well, nourishes the wallet. ~Lou Krieger Poker, n. A game said to be played with cards for some purpose to this lexicographer unknown. ~Ambrose Bierce Poker is... a fascinating, wonderful, intricate adventure on the high seas of human nature. ~David A Daniel Poker's a day to learn and a lifetime to master. ~Robert Williamson III Whether he likes it or not, a man’s character is stripped at the poker table; if the other players read him better than he does, he has only himself to blame. Unless he is both able and prepared to see himself as others do, flaws and all, he will be a loser in cards, as in life. ~Anthony Holden With spots quadrangular of diamond form, Ensanguined hearts, clubs typical of strife, And spades, the emblems of untimely graves. ~William Cowper The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent. ~David Mamet Poker is a microcosm of all we admire and disdain about capitalism and democracy. It can be rough-hewn or polished, warm or cold, charitable and caring, or hard and impersonal, fickle and elusive, but ultimately it is fair, and right, and just. ~Lou Krieger Baseball is like a poker game. Nobody wants to quit when he's losing; nobody wants you to quit when you're ahead. ~Jackie Robinson Poker is to cards and games what jazz is to music. It's this great American thing, born and bred here. We dig it because everybody can play. ~Steve Lipscomb God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e., everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. ~Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, Good Omens, 1991 Hold'em - like life itself - has its defining moment. It's the flop. When you see the flop, you're looking at 71 percent of your hand, and the cost is only a single round of betting. ~Lou Krieger [Poker is] as elaborate a waste of human intelligence as you could find outside an advertising agency. ~Raymond Chandler You have it in your power to turn a bad-beat around simply by realizing this simple truth: The more bad beats you encounter, the luckier you are. It's a sign that you are playing against opponents who continually take the worst of it, and if you can't beat someone who always takes the worst of it, you can't beat anyone. ~Lou Krieger Old card players never die, they just shuffle away. ~Author Unknown Industry executives and analysts often mistakenly talk about strategy as if it were some kind of chess match. But in chess, you have just two opponents, each with identical resources, and with luck playing a minimal role. The real world is much more like a poker game, with multiple players trying to make the best of whatever hand fortune has dealt them. In our industry, Bill Gates owns the table until someone proves otherwise. ~David Moschella Most of the money you'll win at poker comes not from the brilliance of your own play, but from the ineptitude of your opponents. ~Lou Krieger I've often thought, if I got really hungry for a good milk shake, how much would I pay for one? People will pay a hundred dollars for a bottle of wine; to me that's not worth it. But I'm not going to say it is foolish or wrong to spend that kind of money, if that's what you want. So if a guy wants to bet twenty or thirty thousand dollars in a poker game, that is his privilege. ~Jack Binion There's opportunity in poker.... If Horace Greeley were alive today, his advice wouldn't be "Go West, young man, and grow up with the country." Instead, he'd point to that deck of cards on table and say, "Shuffle up and deal. ~Lou Krieger In The Game Of Life... Play The Cards You're Dealt from the movie "Rounders" Trust everyone... but always cut the cards from the movie "Rounders" For American males under 18, baseball may be said to be the national pastime. When they grow up it becomes poker Carl Sifakis, The Encyclopedia of Gambling If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you Paul Newman Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. Stephen Wright Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers. Johnny Moss I’ve always had confidence, but I never let my ego get to the point that I think I’m the superstar, because I know that ego has destroyed many a poker career Jim Boyd, modern-day road gambler I never go looking for a sucker. I look for a Champion and make a sucker of him "Amarillo Slim" Preston It is better to make people think you are a bad poker player, then to play and remove all doubt. Don't play to impress, play to win Michael Gersitz If you are a guy, you know you play too much poker if your wet dreams involve 'nuts' instead breasts BreakEvenPlayer Poker is a game of people... It's not the hand I hold, it's the people that I play with "Amarillo Slim" Preston Nobody is always a winner, and anybody who says he is, is either a liar or doesn't play poker "Amarillo Slim" Preston Timid players don't win in high-stackes Poker. Doyle "Texas Dolly" Brunson I don't want to give you a complex... but your stack looks small. Marcel Luske to a short stacked player at 2004 WSOP Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards. posted by Mobi @ 2:05 AM 0 comments P. J. O'Rourke (1947), National Lampoon When it comes to taking chances, some people like to play poker or shoot dice; other people prefer to parachute jump, go rhino hunting, or climb ice floes, while still others engage in crime or marriage. But I like to get drunk and drive like a fool. posted by Mobi @ 1:59 AM 0 comments Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens" God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. posted by Mobi @ 1:57 AM 0 comments Vannevar Bush (1890 - 1974) If scientific reasoning were limited to the logical processes of arithmetic, we should not get very far in our understanding of the physical world. One might as well attempt to grasp the game of poker entirely by the use of the mathematics of probability. posted by Mobi @ 1:56 AM 0 comments October 22, 2005 George Carlin (1937) Its never just a game when you're winning. posted by Mobi @ 2:37 AM 0 comments George Ade (1866 - 1944) Anybody can win unless there happens to be a second entry. posted by Mobi @ 2:35 AM 0 comments Steven Wright (1955) Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. posted by Mobi @ 1:52 AM 0 comments September 22, 2005 John Mason Brown (1900 - 1969), drama critic He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace. posted by Mobi @ 2:28 AM 0 comments Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling. posted by Mobi @ 2:21 AM 0 comments Theodore Roosevelt (1858 - 1919) When I say I believe in a square deal i do not mean ... to give every man the best hand. If the cards do not come to any man, or if they do come, and he has not got the power to play them, that is his affair. All I mean is that there shall be no crookedness in the dealing. posted by Mobi @ 2:15 AM 0 comments August 22, 2005 Josh Billings (1818 - 1885) Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well. posted by Mobi @ 2:10 AM 0 comments Jawaharlal Nehru (1889 - 1964) Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you is determinism; the way you play it is free will. posted by Mobi @ 2:07 AM 0 comments John Hay (1838 - 1905), Distichs, latter 19th century True luck consists not in holding the best of the cards at the table; luckiest is he who knows just when to rise and go home. "You got to know when to hold'em, know when to fold'em Know when to walk away and know when to run. You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table. There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done." Kenny Rogers, "The Gambler" "Whether he likes it or not, a man's character is stripped at the poker table; if the other players read him better than he does, he has only himself to blame. Unless he is both able and prepared to see himself as others do, flaws and all, he will be a loser in cards, as in life." Anthony Holden, "Big Deal" "Poker reveals to the frank observer something else of import -it will teach him about his own nature. Many bad players do not improve because the cannot bear self-knowledge." David Mamet "Look around the table. If you don't see a sucker, get up, because you're the sucker." Amarillo Slim "You can shear a sheep a hundred times, but you can skin it only once." Amarillo Slim "It's immoral to let a sucker keep his money." Canada Bill Jones "See, in my world - the world of high-stakes gin and poker - we play for cold, hard cash. It's all business, pure and simple. Anyone who thinks cardplaying is a 'game' - I'll show you a loser. Money... M-O-N-E-Y. That's how you measure success. One dollar at a time. One chip at a time. That's how you keep score." Stu Unger "It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." Stu Unger "It is better to make people think you are a bad poker player, then to play and remove all doubt. Don't play to impress, play to win." Michael Gersitz "You cannot survive without that intangible quality we call heart. The mark of a top player is not how much he wins when he is winning but how he handles his losses. If you win for thirty days in a row, that makes no difference if on the thirty first you have a bad night, go crazy, and throw it all away." Bobby Baldwin "The strong point in poker is never to lose your temper, either with those you are playing with or, more particularly, with the cards. There is no sympathy in poker. Always keep cool. If you lose your head you will lose all your chips." William J. Florence "In the poker game of life, women are the rake." Les Murphy, "Rounders" "Poker is a microcosm of all we admire and disdain about capitalism and democracy. It can be rough-hewn or polished, warm or cold, charitable and caring, or hard and impersonal, fickle and elusive, but ultimately it is fair, and right, and just." Lou Krieger "Most of the money you'll win at poker comes not from the brilliance of your own play, but from the ineptitude of your opponents." Lou Krieger "Is it a reasonable thing, I ask you, for a grown man to run about and hit a ball? Poker's the only game fit for a grown man. Then, your hand is against every man's, and every man's is against yours. Teamwork? Who ever made a fortune by teamwork? There's only one way to make a fortune, and that's to down the fellow who's up against you." Somerset Maugham, "Cosmopolitans" "The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; happens at the poker table all the time." General David Shoup "Well, tomorrow's another day." John Hennigan 'If you don't win your only comfort is to come out even.' Quotation from Steven Wright: 'Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died'. Quote from the movie Rounders (1998) 'Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker.' Al Alvarez Quotes 'Yes, I think poker really isn't gambling'. Unknown Quotes: 'Don't gamble with money that you cannot afford to lose either financially or emotionaly'. Quotation from Doyle Brunson: 'Everybody today knows what I learned back then because it's in all the poker books. But nobody knew the right way to play back in those days'. Quotation from James Woods (Hollywood Poker): 'I'm absolutely gonna win it, because I'm ruthless. I sit at the poker table and my job is to destroy people'. Quotation from Lou Krieger: 'Hold'em - like life itself - has its defining moment. It's the flop. When you see the flop, you're looking at 71 percent of your hand, and the cost is only a single round of betting.' Quote from the movie Quiz Show (1994) Dick Goodwin: 'I know you're lying.' Charles Van Doren: 'Bluffing. The word is bluffing.' Memorable quotes from the movie The Simpsons (1989) Homer Simpson: [Playing poker, choking on poker game chips] Don't try to eat these so called "chips". Quotes from the movie Band of Brothers (2001) Richard Winters: You're gambling, Buck. 'Buck' Compton: So what. Soldiers do that. I don't deserve a reprimand for it. Richard Winters: What if you'd won? 'Buck' Compton: What? Richard Winters: What if you'd won? Don't ever put yourself in the position where you can take from these men. Quote from the TV-Series House, M.D. Dr. Robert Chase: Gambling doesn't take away his pain. Dr. Gregory House: [enters] It does if I win. Quotes from the movie Ocean's Eleven (2001) [On the phone] Terry: Who the hell is this? Rusty: The man who's robbing you! What about Poker Books Quotes? Quotes by Little Britain (2003) Roy: Hello Mr Mann: Do you have any books? Roy: Yes, this is a book shop, we 'ave 'undreds. Mr Mann: Good, I'll take them then. Roy: Right. [begins stacking books into crate] Roy: Like to read then? Mr Mann: No actually, I'm blind. [Roy waves hand in front of Mr Mann's face] Mr Mann: [Mr Mann waves hand in front of Roy's face] Imagine Vicky Pollard is playing poker, Little Britain (2003) Vicky Pollard: Yeah, but no, but yeah, but ... 
|
|
#2
04-22-2007, 07:16 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Poker quotes
QUOTES ON POKER
Poker is a microcosm of all we admire and disdain about capitalism and democracy. It can be rough-hewn or polished, warm or cold, charitable and caring, or hard and impersonal, fickle and elusive, but ultimately it is fair, and right, and just. LOU KRIEGER, Lou Krieger Online There is no sympathy in poker. Always keep cool. If you lose your head you will lose all your chips. WILLIAM J. FLORENCE, The Gentleman's Handbook on Poker Whether he likes it or not, a man's character is stripped bare at the poker table; if the other players read him better than he does, he has only himself to blame. Unless he is both able and prepared to see himself as others do, flaws and all, he will be a loser in cards, as in life. ANTHONY HOLDEN, Big Deal Poker is a fighting game, a game in which each player tries to get the better of every other player and does so by fair means or foul so long as he obeys the rules of the game. He may bluff or lie about his own strength, the object of the game being either to frighten the other players into believing that he has greater strength or else to prove it. KARL MENNINGER, Love Against Hate In poker, good players win and poor players lose. LOU KRIEGER, More Hold'em Excellence The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent. DAVID MAMET, Writing in Restaurants As batting practice is not baseball, reading about poker, or playing against computerized opponents -- while undeniably helpful -- is not the same as playing for real money, against live opponents, in public games. LOU KRIEGER, Hold'em Excellence The seductive game of poker is one that I do not understand. I do not care to understand it, because it cannot be played without the putting up of a good deal of the coin of the realm, and although I have nothing to say against betting, my own theory of conduct in the matter is this, that I want no man's money which I do not earn, and I do not want any man to get my money unless he earns it. ROBERT BARR, "The Society for the Reformation of Poker Players" Only losers and amateurs blame the cards. After all, cards don't care; they don't take sides, and they have no memory. They are blind justice holding her scales, and in the long run they'll tip evenly for the novice and the skilled alike. LOU KRIEGER, More Hold'em Excellence The cardinal sin in poker, worse than playing bad cards, worse even than figuring your odds correctly, is becoming emotionally involved. KATY LEDERER, A Girlhood Among Gamblers In poker, as in business, the secret is in knowing how to manage risk and capitalize on opportunity. LOU KRIEGER, More Hold'em Excellence The other day I was playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. STEVEN WRIGHT, stand-up routine If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you. PAUL NEWMAN “It’s hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don’t let anyone tell you different. Think about what it’s like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take our money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about that went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that’s the way it is at the poker table. If you don’t believe me, then you’re the lamb that’s going off to the slaughter.” Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion “Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.” Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955) Similar Quotes. Add to Chapter... “Life, like poker, has an element of risk. It shouldn't be avoided. It should be faced.” munchkin71787 Edward Norton quotes Similar Quotes. Add to Chapter... “What I needed most was to love and to be loved, eager to be caught. Happily I wrapped those painful bonds around me; and sure enough, I would be lashed with the red-hot pokers or jealousy, by suspicions and fear, by burst of anger and quarrels.” Saint Augustine quotes (Ancient Roman Christian Theologian and Bishop of Hippo from 396 to 430. One of the Latin Fathers of the Church. 354-430) Similar Quotes. Add to Chapter... “Here's somthing you never hear someone say: 'As soon as I stick this red hot poker up my ass i'm going to chop my dick off'.” imandrewpateman George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937) Similar Quotes. Add to Chapter... “If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you.” Paul Newman quotes (Charismatic American film Actor, b.1925) Similar Quotes. Add to Chapter... “Baseball is like a poker game. Nobody wants to quit when he's losing; nobody wants you to quit when you're ahead.” Jackie Robinson quotes Similar Quotes. About: Baseball quotes. Add to Chapter... “Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them.” Mark Twain quotes (American Humorist, Writer and Lecturer. 1835-1910) Similar Quotes. About: Ethics quotes. Add to Chapter... “God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of the players, (ie everybody), to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.” Neil Gaiman quotes (English born American Novelist, Journalist, Screenwriter, Children's author and Comics writer of American Gods, amongst many others, b.1960) Terry Pratchett quotes (English Writer, b.1948) Similar Quotes. About: God quotes, Universe quotes. Add to Chapter... “People would be surprised to know how much I learned about prayer from playing poker” Mary Austin quotes Add to Chapter... “Life is like a game of poker: If you don't put any in the pot, there won't be any to take out” Honey! Honey! I was supposed to go broke on that hand, honey, except they forgot one thing: I can dodge bullets, baby. - Phil Hellmuth, at the 2005 World Series of Poker main event If there weren't luck involved, I guess I'd win every one. - Phil Hellmuth, after losing in the 2004 World Series of Poker "Life is like a game of poker: If you don't put any in the pot, there won't be any to take out" – Anonymous "People would be surprised to know how much I learned about prayer from playing poker" – Mary Austin "In a game of poker, I can put the players' souls in my pocket." Beausourire, Haitian Poker Player “It's going to finish when I fold my hand and go up to the big poker game in the sky.” - Al Alvarez My favorite poker quotes Here are some of the quotes that I know of together with what I think about them: From General David Shoup - "The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; happens at the poker table all the time." Some players are too conceited that they fail to see that others can actually beat them. Remember that you can not always win, so it would be wise to watch your back From William Wigstrom - "Ace is not good, Ace is God." From Unknown person - "If, after the first twenty minutes, you don't know who the sucker at the table is, it's you." In poker, you must not only learn how to read cards, but more importantly read your opponents. If you cannot learn how to do that, then poker is not really for you. From Mike Caro - "Aces are larger than life and greater than mountains." Ace is really powerful in poker, as you can see in the two quotations above. Being the highest cards in poker, once you get aces at pre-flop, you might want to raise to isolate hands. You want to eliminate some of your opponents early on because, even if pocket aces are excellent, they do not really improve with the community cards.. From Amarillo Slim - "Nobody is always a winner, and anybody who says he is, is either a liar or doesn't play poker. This serves as a warning to those who think they can never lose. In poker, there will be times that you win, and also you will lose. From Steven Wright - "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." This quotation does not really teach much about poker, it's just plain funny. From Charles Lamb, "Essays of Elia" (1832) - "Cards are war, in disguise of a sport." When you play poker, you use tactics, such as in war. In poker, your cards become your weaponry, so use them well. From Wilson Mizner - "Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing from something." Some people believe that poker is nothing but a total waste. Waste of time, waste of money and waste of effort. But how about those who make it big and win millions? Even if you do not win, it's not really a total waste, at least you've learned something. Nothing ventured, nothing gained sounds better.
|
|
#4
04-22-2007, 10:55 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Poker quotes
"Razz is a terrible game with no skill involved whatsoever. But in some ways razz is like having sex without a condom; it's the only true way to play poker but at the same time you're going to get all sorts of diseases and be miserable because you have herpes and burning crabs."
Bill Fillmaff
|
|
#5
04-22-2007, 01:27 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Poker quotes
Dear Lord, please let me break even today. I need the money.
Difference between a church and a poker room is that when you pray at the poker table you actually mean it. I don't think anyone specific said these and they might not be word for word.
|
|
#8
04-22-2007, 06:33 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Poker quotes
"Two Kings beats two Bitches, Bitch!"
|
 |
|
|
Linear Mode
