onlide "dating:" interesting article

[daveT]

This is so well-written, don't want to give a synopsis, but here it goes.

link

Actually, I started writing a synopsis and I changed my mind. Just say that this story is way weird, but wow, I wanted to share it with those that don't live in LA. If people want to read it great. If not, feel free to discuss what you think of on-line dating.

I don't understand it myself. I just bought my first computer about one year ago, and I still don't see anyway that I am more attached to it than I am too life. There are lots of freaks out there, and the thought of finding a woman on-line is out-right frightening to me. My image is in exactly one place on-line, and I am fine with that. I couldn't see myself logging on every morning to meat a someone:

[ QUOTE ]
I point out to Tania that pheromones have a lot to do with mutual attraction — what if the smell’s off?

“Oh, they thought of that,” Tania tells me. They exchanged “special pieces of clothing,” she says.

To smell.

[/ QUOTE ]

and then trying to attract myself to someone. There was one time that I was set up blind with a girl. I knew her sister, and she was very good looking. I thought I hit the lottery. I called and she had a sweet voice. She told me about how she was lying naked on her patio.

[ QUOTE ]
I see you across the room. You see me. Something clicks. We approach. We talk. If there’s some kind of connection between our inner selves — even if it’s just a mutual desire to rub chocolate pudding over each other’s naughty bits — we get on with the business at hand. But the Internet has turned things upside down. Now, things work the other way around. Our inner selves meet and connect, and then we get to the raw, physical-attraction thing. And while it’s painful to learn that someone you find physically attractive doesn’t go for you, how much more painful to find that someone whose soul speaks to you across the series of tubes that make up the World Wide Web doesn’t go for your fat ass and spotty face.

[/ QUOTE ]

Genetics aren't always spread evenly, even among sisters. It didn't help her too much that I was immediate turned off my her. My pager (thank god she didn't have my phone number) was buzzing ten times a day between her and her friend. Some people didn't get the point, but I did know how she felt, and I couldn't see myself taking advantage of her, even though I could. My tastes were also made me feel like I could do better than a size 15, a poorly dressed 15, I might add.

I understand, that yes, many people are alone, and that OL dating has worked for some people. Unfortunately, the bad stuff is so well publicized. There is nothing more than a TV add and on-line testimonials that are all somehow written by aspiring Ian Flemmings. I guess Love does that to you?

Although I have no problems with on-line dating sites myself, I don't know how to think of them existing. They sure are selling an odd dream. I think it is funny that one site I saw bashed another site for not accepting 1,000,000 people. So, they take anyone? Anyone at all? At least that other site had mind enough to ask for a minimum standard psychological review, that I am sure a total idiot could have lied their way through. It is like walking into an employment agency that you know does not require drug testing and telling them that you do drugs, or have done drugs before.

Should these site have any liability at all. I am not suggesting a money-back guarantee on a date fizzling, but what happens if something like this story happens? I do not believe it is anyone's responsibility to protect stupid people from themselves, but using their ignorance may be unfair. Or maybe they are logical people who are vulnerable. Is it correct to add more to the wounds by hanging a carrot?

[ QUOTE ]
We spend much of our lives alone. Some cope with it better than others. The ones who don’t are primed and ready for victimhood. You have to learn to be with yourself, because if you don’t, there’s a whole world of drugs, booze and rotten people who will be your friend until you’ve been sucked dry. Beware of what loneliness makes you do

[/ QUOTE ]

If you were a poster on the Deadwood forum, you are probably somewhat aware of this story.

And of coarse, if you have had success, or any experience dating OL, please tell. I guess that would include the "casual encounters" page on Craigslist, too.