Any upside to allowing my 8-year-old to compete in beauty pageants?

youtalkfunny · #1 09-17-2007, 04:54 AM

Just know going in: unlike most prospective 8-year-old beauty queens, this one isn't being pushed into it by her parents.

The school sent home an announcement for several pageants, and my 8-year-old wants in. She is a very pretty girl. She has an aunt who competed in (and won) many pageants. Aunt Cindy once took 3rd Runner Up in Miss Arkansas.

Neither Aunt Cindy nor Aunt Cindy's parents are pushing for this, either. It is entirely the kid's desire to do this.

My first reaction is to say no, these things are freak shows, and we should stay above such nonsense.

But who am I to stand in the way of my kid's dreams? Maybe she'll go on to win Miss America and become a big Hollywood movie star.

Of course that's not going to happen, but again, who am I to tell her to stop trying to be successful at something?

My question for The Lounge: Anybody have personal experience with these pageants? What's the upside? What's the downside?

TIA

Stagger_Lee · #2 09-17-2007, 05:03 AM

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no, these things are freak shows, and we should stay above such nonsense

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Ron Burgundy · #3 09-17-2007, 05:34 AM

Ask her what she thinks about half of American kids not being able to locate the US on a map. Srsly do it plz.

diebitter · #4 09-17-2007, 06:29 AM

If she wants to, I'd let her and do whatever reasonable parents do to support their kids who want to do some etraciricular activity. Just keep an eye on it.

If it starts getting weird, pull her out by arranging diversionary entertainments. So if a pageant is on a weekend and you want it to stop, arrange a trip to an amusement park or whatever, anything to get her diverted without actually having to point blank refuse.

But obv if you have to point-blank refuse, then you must if you think it's for the best.

BigPoppa · #5 09-17-2007, 07:07 AM

[ QUOTE ]
But who am I to stand in the way of my kid's dreams? Maybe she'll go on to win Miss America and become a big Hollywood movie star.

[/ QUOTE ]

She could start competing 10 years from now and have about the same chance (maybe better, because of not being burned out).

It would be much, much better if she accomplished something not based on being judged by others on appearance. Too many really pretty girls grow up thinking that's all they really need in life. There's no reason to reinforce that belief.

Better that she learn to compete in ways that require more than just looks, be it athletics, grades, writing, music......

MrWookie · #6 09-17-2007, 10:04 AM

I'd check out some of the posts bye Belok in here:

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showfl...=6#Post11595726

VoraciousReader · #7 09-17-2007, 12:11 PM

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Too many really pretty girls grow up with no self-esteem, thinking that's all they have to offer in life.

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Fixed.

Blarg · #8 09-17-2007, 12:36 PM

My question is, just because there's no pressure now, will there never be? Parents can get sickly, fiercely competitive about their kids and push them long after the initial impulse is gone. Parents can also see things long-term that are no more than a passing notion(which seems life and death at the time) to their kids. They can then push their kids and the kids can wind up very unhappy while telling their parents they're happy, because they can sense it's something they want to hear. So you get a kid being the parent to their nutty real parents.

Do you want your kid to chance facing that responsibility? I can't picture myself as a kid being strong enough to disappoint my mom if she had her ego invested in me.

Blarg · #9 09-17-2007, 12:38 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
But who am I to stand in the way of my kid's dreams? Maybe she'll go on to win Miss America and become a big Hollywood movie star.

[/ QUOTE ]

She could start competing 10 years from now and have about the same chance (maybe better, because of not being burned out).

It would be much, much better if she accomplished something not based on being judged by others on appearance. Too many really pretty girls grow up thinking that's all they really need in life. There's no reason to reinforce that belief.

Better that she learn to compete in ways that require more than just looks, be it athletics, grades, writing, music......

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree with this very strongly. This is probably the worst way to get used to thinking of "achievement" -- based on your looks and ability to fit into a kind of creepy scenario and come out on top in it. I'd rather my kid achieved anything else than a prize for her looks and, ahem, "talent."

Plus, these things can be very time-consuming and detract from being with friends and doing other things. I wouldn't surrender that lightly. It probably contributes a lot more, and in a good rather than bad way, to a kid's social development.

Blarg · #10 09-17-2007, 12:41 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Too many really pretty girls grow up with no self-esteem, thinking that's all they have to offer in life.

[/ QUOTE ]

Fixed.

[/ QUOTE ]

And by focusing only on their looks and facing little pressure to do otherwise, even from people who supposedly love them, it turns out they're very often right, after a while -- looks become all they DO have to offer.