November "I FORGOT MY MANTRA" Low Content chit-chat thread

[Fishwhenican]

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thanks everyone for your comments and suggestions. Dom and Wookie, what do you think of Orlando's suggestion that I email him with a friendly tone? I'm not sure I will but I wanted to know your thoughts on this idea. Also, today we are speaking to each other just about business stuff. We have remained polite (or "civil" [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]) I have a feeling that this is how it will be from now on which is fine with me. Unfortunately we both depend on each other to get our work done.

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Katy, You have received good advice from Blarg and others. I would NOT do any of this communication via email because it is hard to keep things in perspective via email at times. On the positive side it is documentation.

Anyway, If this guy physically threatened you, you need to report it and report it now. I would write it up in a professional way and take it to HR and to your manager. I am assuming this bozo is not your supervisor. There is nothing in a workplace that warrants a physical threat like that. This cannot and should not be tolerated. If one of my people came to me and told me something like this the aggressor would be fired immediately.

Stand up for yourself and once again take the bull by the horns and get this taken care of. You are in the right. Be professional, document and go over his head to the proper people.

[daveT]

Katy. One thing that pops out at me is that you said he talks to his wife on the phone like this. Now he is talking to you like this.

Add 2 and 2: he has a crush on you. Actually, the whole thing sounds like a crush.

He is butting in on your conversations because he is interested in what you say. He was comfortable with you until he recognized those emotions. Some people push harder than they pull and the only way they relate to people of the opposite sex is through "negs." He probably doesn't mean any harm to you, but it is not appropriate either.

Otherwise, just do what everyone else said.

[Dominic]

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thanks everyone for your comments and suggestions. Dom and Wookie, what do you think of Orlando's suggestion that I email him with a friendly tone? I'm not sure I will but I wanted to know your thoughts on this idea. Also, today we are speaking to each other just about business stuff. We have remained polite (or "civil" [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]) I have a feeling that this is how it will be from now on which is fine with me. Unfortunately we both depend on each other to get our work done.

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Katy, You have received good advice from Blarg and others. I would NOT do any of this communication via email because it is hard to keep things in perspective via email at times. On the positive side it is documentation.

Anyway, If this guy physically threatened you, you need to report it and report it now. I would write it up in a professional way and take it to HR and to your manager. I am assuming this bozo is not your supervisor. There is nothing in a workplace that warrants a physical threat like that. This cannot and should not be tolerated. If one of my people came to me and told me something like this the aggressor would be fired immediately.

Stand up for yourself and once again take the bull by the horns and get this taken care of. You are in the right. Be professional, document and go over his head to the proper people.

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I agree...your personal relationship with this guy is OVER. Do not email him at all unless it has to do with business.

Take it to HR, not him!

[Orlando Salazar]

They may still have to work together if he doesn't get fired/moved. Plus it can make Katy look bad/like a bitch. An email is documentation, if he is still unrelenting, then take it to HR. HR=End of working relationship, which could be bad for Katy's productivity and professional development.

Edit:
Oh yeah, he prolly wants to do u.

[Dominic]

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They may still have to work together if he doesn't get fired/moved. Plus it can make Katy look bad/like a bitch. An email is documentation, if he is still unrelenting, then take it to HR. HR=End of working relationship, which could be bad for Katy's productivity and professional development.

Edit:
Oh yeah, he prolly wants to do u.

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As long as the email is a professional "WTF?" I have no real problem with it. Yeah, he probably thinks of you as his work-wife and now he's treating you like his real wife!

[Blarg]

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They may still have to work together if he doesn't get fired/moved. Plus it can make Katy look bad/like a bitch. An email is documentation, if he is still unrelenting, then take it to HR. HR=End of working relationship, which could be bad for Katy's productivity and professional development.

Edit:
Oh yeah, he prolly wants to do u.

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I don't see how her working relationship with him could be much worse anyway. If Katy misses this opportunity to document her problems with the guy, she may never get another one anywhere near as powerful before he completely sabotages her career. Which it sounds like he's embarking on right now. Right now, she has the initiative in being the good guy and putting him in his place. If she doesn't act, she will lose it, and that would be a tactical disaster. Because then it will be time to listen to the boss, not to his now merely putatively disgruntled underling, when the issue of "the Katie problem" and her suitability for continued employment -- or promotion, God forbid -- comes up.

That is when she will be painted as looking bad or a b*tch. And it will work, too. Right now, she has a chance to defend herself that in no way will make her look like a b*tch. Really, if someone threatens to punch you in the face, especially in a work environment, that's the person who is going to look bad. Especially when doing it to a woman! The power is all Katie's in this situation, not his.

I'd stay away from e-mail too. Talking to this guy further, and directly, about this subject is the wrong thing. You want the emphasis here on management and what management is going to do, not on your personal relationship.

Two reason: One is that you don't want the situation to get out of hand further, and give him an opening to argue with you about deniability or whatever. Second is that what you want to be sure of is that this does not get brushed off as something personal, which will completely trivialize it and destroy any leverage this incident might give you. Katie needs that leverage now. What needs emphasis, to protect her career, is that she is not about people's personal problems and probably doesn't really even care about them; she's about getting the work done and being a professional in a professional environment. And something is intefering with that.

Handle it coolly but firmly, and you save your career, not to mention your emotional state. Dick around in it and minimize the situation, and you make the situation and the mindset of the initial offender, and everyone he thenceforth influences, permanent. She simply can't afford to play this off lightly and let this attitude toward her become publically acknowledged and acceptable. That's career suicide, and even if she keeps her job, it will probably be at great effort, wind up very distasteful and unsatisfying to her, and she'll find it very hard to advance in her career.

It's a mistake to see this merely as an incident. The most important thing is that it is a precedent. It has to be treated accordingly. Once you go start going down the road of someone who can or should be thought less of, there is no turning back.

[diebitter]

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i just saw your post, Blarg, after I replied to Dom and Wookie. I will try to address it later as I can't at the moment. I certainly wish I had chopped this off at the knees before it got started. I tend to be very quiet and amiable at work, trying to go along with the joke, trying not to be a complainer.

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Katy

Your silence is the action of someone deeply traumatised by it, you know what I'm saying?

(Okay, I'm sorta kidding, but if I worked next door to you and you told me this, I'd pick a fight with the guy in the car park on some pretext or another).

[hyde]

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I certainly wish I had chopped this off at the knees before it got started. I tend to be very quiet and amiable at work, trying to go along with the joke, trying not to be a complainer.

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You can not solve this problem from within your comfort zone.
It is too late to chop off at the knees, but you have received extremely good advice from Blarg. I hope you follow it.

[daveT]

How often should we add a new singer/songwriter to the singer/songwriter thread? I already love it. I hope to see a bunch of stuff I am not familiar with.

[Kimbell175113]

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How often should we add a new singer/songwriter to the singer/songwriter thread?

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I have no idea, but let's just go crazy for the first day, at least.