The Areas of my Expertise

[amplify]

John Hodgman is a very silly person. He currently appears in the role of PC on those Mac advertisements, but in real life he is a hunchback pea farmer who plays the piccolo with one foot while basting turnips in the rain. No wait, he's a writer, and he wrote this book called, "The Areas of my Underpants" That's wrong too, it's something like that. Anyway this book that may or may not be named "The Arias of Von Aspertish" is one of the silliest things that I have read since breakfast. Was invented. It purports to be an almanac and complete compendium of human knowledge.

Each chapter begins with (I'm not kidding here) Lycanthropic Transformation Tables with such useful information as Charm potency (wolfsbane, fur girdle removal) and Transformations, including fur, mostly fur, has stopped killing children, and toothy, but self-recriminating. I pause here to stress that unlike the introductory paragraph, I am not making any of this up.

Other topics in the look include: 700 hobo names (Normal-faced Olaf, Boxcar Aldous Huxley, Balloonbopper Chillingsworth) which actually goes on so long that he goes ahead and starts other parts of the book, continuing the list of names (Pineneedle-jacket Jericho Fop, Sausage Patty) in the margin; Nine Presidents who had Hooks for Hands, and a table of omens v. portents in which you find that an obese boy eating corn on the cob at the same time as a sea urchin arrives in the mail with no return address tells us that merman attacks on the transatlantic, subocean tunnel will continue. I actually looked this up in the table.

To sum up concisely, this reads like a Scenes from a Hat back when I was still drinking. You'll probably like it, if only for the lycanthropic content, which is higher than any book you are likely to come across without the word lycanthropic in the title.

Edit: buy it if you want to or whatever

[shortline99]

I have the 700 hobo names in an mp3 file.

[amplify]

[ QUOTE ]
I have the 700 hobo names in an mp3 file.

[/ QUOTE ]
There may be hope for my recording career after all.

[amplify]

I should write reviews about something more popular, like anal warts.

[kyro]

[ QUOTE ]
I should write reviews about something more popular, like anal warts.

[/ QUOTE ]

in

[sighing]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I should write reviews about something more popular, like anal warts.

[/ QUOTE ]

in

[/ QUOTE ]
Does this relate to the "kyro date" thread? You should really keep the trip reports all in one place.

[kyro]

gotcha

[kyro]

Does the ninjabumper want to fess up or should I out you like a little bitch? Huh? (This threat may or may not be linked to the fact I'm having a hard time posting a ss)

[amplify]

the ninjabumping has gotten a better response than the original post so I'd say my job is done.

[kyro]

tooooooooooooooo slow