Friends "concerned"

[dfbuzzbeater]

Searched for this topic but couldn't find anything. I feel like it isn't that uncommon...

In the past few days, my friends have expressed their "concern" with me playing "so much" online poker. I'm 22 and I am a co-op student (that means I work for certain school terms instead of attending classes and I graduate a year later - though I take the same number of classes). This quarter I'm working, so I usually come home, eat dinner, play poker from probably 7:00p-12:00p and go to bed at about 12:30. I'd say every week (in addition to working) I'm playing 30-40 hrs. of poker. This is about the same amount (or a little less) than I play when I'm taking classes, but now when I come home from work I'm generally not in the mood to go out to bars or other social activities, and I generally just like to stay home and veg out because I'm tired.

I have (albeit rarely) told my friends that I couldn't hang out with them because I had to play a poker tournament, but I can name almost every time - once for the sunday mil., once for a PCA qualifier, once for a WSOP qualifier...

I realize my responses will be quite bias, but who is erring here? It could be a little of both - my poker playing may be excessive but they are probably overly sensitive. Additionally, because whenever they see me at home I'm generally playing poker, that may drastically affect the situation.

Any thoughts? Similar experiences?

Thanks.

[dragon14]

Before you began playing poker do you think there's a chance you would have chosen to stay home every night?

I know I have fallen into a habit of playing too much poker several times in the last few years and although I've been a winning player I still think it's fair to refer to my playing as somewhat addictive at times. Since you are working full-time it would be healthier to get out more. I believe that poker is taking the place of other recreational areas of your life.

I advise scheduling some regular activities and planning activities with your friends ahead of time so that you're not stuck in a poker rut. It sounds like now poker is consuming all of your weeknight free time.

[CHAx]

I run into this problem too. My roomate makes comments about my playing poker all the time. Semi-jokingly mentions GA. He tells me I should quit before I lose it all. I think his understanding is super low because he seems to think I've just been lucky. Another good friend of mine knows how much I make yet discourages me from playing because I am not enjoying other parts of my life enough (apparently). Like how come everyone knows what is best for me?

Its funny because I still go out 3 times a week. You know thurs-fri-sat. I work 40-50 hours a week. I play cards 20 a week. Then I go out with my friends three nights in a row. I date girls and I started working out again. Yet, they treat me like I'm wierd or something because I don't live like them (IE poor). However, girls I date never last too long, so that probably says something about me. Generally, I'm just not super interested. I don't give them enough attention, you know? Thing is, because my social life revolves around work, poker, and drinking. I don't meet girls with the whole package. You know how you meet a nice lookin girl, get to know her, and then your like "wow, she is so annoying". Heh.

But hey OP, I think you might want to make a little more time to be social. It is super easy to be playing, get stuck a couple buy-ins and then skip meeting up w/ people. Especially if you are playing everynight 7-12, you are probably not breaking that habit often enough.

I'm not perfect, but I've made a mental note to stop doing this because my friends get pissed.

[dfbuzzbeater]

[ QUOTE ]
Before you began playing poker do you think there's a chance you would have chosen to stay home every night?


[/ QUOTE ]

See that's the thing - I'm an only child. My freshman year in college, there were nights (though not TOO often) that I would just stay home by myself when everyone went out. I liked being by myself for a time. I would write/record music (which is awkward when the dorm roommate is there) or catch up on schoolwork; whatever just to be by myself. I'm comfortable by myself and don't get insecure.

However I think that scheduling certain social activities is a great idea. I've talked to my roommate and we've decided that one weeknight every week we will go with our friends to dinner. In addition, I'm going to play racquetball with another one of my friends two nights a week. I think this will work very well, if nothing else than relaxing my mind. I was thinking about how much I am using my mind every day, and how that is likely directly affecting my desire to be social.

Thanks for the help, and the knowledge that there's other people in my spot.

[johnnyrocket]

as doyle says in super system, if u have nething to do besides playing poker do it. never not hang out with ur friends unless its a serious poker thing, its the best advice and i live by it

[Quanah Parker]

If you're winning money then you're right.

If you're losing money, then your friends are right.

[mutiger91]

You might spend some time and read the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey. If you boil the book down, it's about deciding what is important to you and then managing your time and activities to meet your stated goals. Nothing in it is rocket science and in general I find self-help books a little hokey, but it's helpful in forcing you to articulate things that maybe you haven't fully thought through.

[_Towelie_]

I think you need to reset some priorities dude. I've definitely been in your situation before, and still struggle to fight against it. Not to get all sappy or anything but your friends are probably voicing concerns because they miss hanging out with you. You should be flattered more than offended by this.

If bars aren't your thing anymore than suggest something else that you can all enjoy. And if you can't think of anything else you enjoy besides poker than you have a problem. And when I say problem I don't mean gambling problem, I mean priority problem -- you're not much different than the workaholic who puts in 70/hrs a week at the office to the exclusion of everyone else.

Bottom line: make time for your friends or you may lose them.

[LeadingMan]

When I was in college I worked 30-40 hours a week including every Frday/Saturday night. (my work hours being equivalent to your poker hours) In hindsight, I worked too much and really regret not hanging out with friends more. Quite honestly, i now feel jipped whenever I think about college as I could have easily had 300% more fun.

In your situation, I don't think anybody has to be erring. I wouldn't think turning your friends down for a scheduled tourny is any different than any other prior commitment. On the other hand, if you rarely hang out with them anymore and are playing a lot of poker, then of course they are going to ask "WTF?"

[Reef]

I'm "pro" and don't even play 30-40 hrs a week .. I think you've got some addiction issues.

How much you making (or losing) a month anyway?