Her parents disapprove, what's your play?

[Homer]

[ QUOTE ]
stress to them that you value the same things they do (family, education, tradition)

[/ QUOTE ]

They obviously don't value education. They value status.

Also, he doesn't owe them an explanation as to why he is worthy of their daughter. They are clearly narrow-minded pricks who aren't even capable of participating in a rational conversation.

[astroglide]

what do you say? not much, really.

i was in a similar situation. my gf and i moved in together quickly and her rich father was not happy about it. education is a huge deal in her family and, despite success in career, i never attended college. her grandfather was a wealthy man that modestly attributed his rags to riches story to his degree. he established a family foundation for scholarships. both of her parents got law degrees at washington university in st. louis and now donate to it, etc.

as inclined as i was to let her father know in no uncertain terms that as soon as i wanted to know how i should run my life that he'd be the first person i'd ask, i bit my tongue the entire time and politely interacted with him as much as he did or didn't want to. ultimately, i think you need to realize that it's an issue between him and her, not him and you. you're just a physical manifestation of his fears about his daughter's future. you shouldn't create an implied ultimatum by escalating.

if they're decent parents, they will ultimately realize that if their daughter is happy and safe that is all that matters. i think the best way to shatter this ice isn't with protesting, arguments, and passive-aggression but for her to simply demonstrate how happy she is. it literally took years, but i have been fully accepted into my fiancee's family for some time and we got engaged this month. i think the whole episode with her father was dumb, but at least his concern was coming from a good place.

[Alobar]

find a girl who isnt so retarded that her parents approval means more than her love for you.

[Mother Mucker]

[censored] 'em. If your dad is a professor and your mom is a physician, you're family is either high middle class or upper class. It's up to your girl to decide. If she's serious about being with you and that's what she really wants, her family will eventually come around to accept you......if they love her.

[Hopey]

[ QUOTE ]
find a girl who isnt so retarded that her parents approval means more than her love for you.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, the OP is setting himself up for years of family melodrama if he marries this girl. Obviously her family would rather see the daughter with someone she doesn't love but is of higher status rather than someone she loves but who doesn't meet the family's standards. I hate [censored] like this.

[LeatherFace]

Lower her self esteem until you have complete control over her. Then tell her her parents are evil. Plan a big wedding and don't send invitations to her parents, but make sure they find out about it at the last second. When they show up at the wedding have security ready to arrest them and throw them in jail. When they get their free phone call make sure you have your new wifes cell phone on you and answer it and make sure to remind them that you will be banging her any second soon. Then tell them they shouldnt have [censored] [censored] with you. you are the [censored] man noone [censored] [censored] with you.

[StevieG]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
stress to them that you value the same things they do (family, education, tradition)

[/ QUOTE ]

They obviously don't value education. They value status.


[/ QUOTE ]

Well of course, but it's unlikely they would want to admit that. And stressing that he has the education and all the rest forces them to do just that, without saying as much.

[ QUOTE ]
Also, he doesn't owe them an explanation as to why he is worthy of their daughter. They are clearly narrow-minded pricks who aren't even capable of participating in a rational conversation.

[/ QUOTE ]

Your Dale Carnegie game is on fire.

[Alobar]

[ QUOTE ]
Lower her self esteem until you have complete control over her.

[/ QUOTE ]

good play, only her parents already beat you to this

[astroglide]

[ QUOTE ]
find a girl who isnt so retarded that her parents approval means more than her love for you.

[/ QUOTE ]

her parents will always be her parents. he won't necessarily always be her signifigant other.

i agree that she should be on his side, but i think it's perfectly normal if she's still very upset about the situation.

[Nsight7]

Personally, I think you need to interact with them regularly and try to win them over. However, between your gf and yourself, I think you should fully expect the possibility that they may never come around and considering marrying in spite of it. I somehow doubt that they will continue to be peeved indefinately, particularly when they start having grandchildren from the union. These people are suckers for grandchildern!