serious post: My really good friends brother just commited suicide

[oddjob]

my advice. yes, do the "i'm sorry, is there anything i can do for you?" thing. it's standard.

but because it's standard she probably realizes most people just say this without really meaning it. and yes you mean it in the sense that you'll go get [censored] up with her, or brign her soup or something, but most people who say this, say it cause it's standard and do the things cause they're expected.

give her time to process the stuff. then ask her if she wants to talk about it. and be sincere. most people can sense when you don't really want to talk about it, and most people dont' really want to talk about it.

i have tons of really really close friends, that i can talk about most anything about. but there are some things i can't because i can sense they don't want to.

no one likes to feel vulnerable.

[MLG]

most of the advice here is good obviously, just a few things to add.

1. Dont say "I know how you feel" (you don't, its obv. but ive seen tons of people say it when they don't know what to say).

2. Suicide, unlike other tragic forms of death still has some stigma attached to it. Be sensitive to how the family is dealing with it. Many families even if it is undeniable will not openly acknowledge that this was how he died. So, be very careful when the subject of his death is broached in how you interact with her.

3. Many people will be there for the family in the immediate aftermath of his death. The hardest part will be the months (and years) ahead when people are going back to their everyday lives (as they should) and they are left with this tragedy. As a good friend those moments are as important as the upcoming weeks.