Commuter Vent of the Day

[mosdef]

I don't have a long commute (it only takes my 20 minutes from the door of my house to the door of my office by subway) so I don't commute in a perpetual state of just below the surface violent rage like most people on the Toronto subway system. Having said that, here's my commuter vent of the day (add your own and we'll make a whole thread of self-righteous superiority).

Anyway, as is the case from time to time the subway took longer than its typical 3 or 4 minute gap per train today. So the platform was relatively crowded and there was a general air of impatience. Enter ESDQL (Exasperated Sighing Drama Queen Lady) stage left.

ESDQL comes down the stairs to a crowd of people. ESDQL pushes to the front. ESDQL lady looks at her watch, leans out over the edge of the subway platform looking up the tunnel, sighs loudly and starts pacing. Pace, pace, pace, pace, lean out over edge look up tunnel, exasperated sigh, pace, pace, pace, repeat.

LOOK YOU [censored] RETARD WE'RE ALL STANDING AROUND HERE BECAUSE THE TRAIN IS A FEW MINUTES BEHIND IT HAPPENS ALL THE GOD DAMN TIME THIS ISN'T A BIG [censored] DEAL AND WE'VE ALL BEEN HERE LONGER THAN YOU ALREADY ANYWAY SO STOP MAKING A BIG SCENE "OH LOOK AT ME MY PRIVATE TRAIN IS LATE" YOU'RE JUST RETARDED I HOPE YOU FALL OF THE PLATFORM AND GET TURNED INTO A PULPY MESS AND AS YOU'RE PUNY MIND CAN'T COMPREHEND BASIS CONCEPTS PLEASE NOTE THAT LOOKING UP THE TUNNEL DOESN'T SPEED UP THE TRAINS THEY DON'T HAVE LOOKOUTS HOLDING THE TRAIN UP UNTIL SOME IDIOT LOOKS UP THE TUNNEL TO SEE IF IT'S COMING.