need a intimidating/challenging statement for my poker flyer

[Andy Newton]

How about, "If I won, so could your cousin with down syndrome."??
or: "PLEASE ARREST ME, I AM A GAMBLING PSEUDO-ILLEGALLY"???

[Axe Man Jack]

[ QUOTE ]
Axe Man, I hope you did well- trip report?


[/ QUOTE ]
I couldn't sleep the night before so tried to have a few cocktails to help me rest. While doing so I played 1/2 no limit in the stratosphere and turned 60 into 250 before donking it off my a/10 trip aces being beat by someone else's full house with the other ace.

I went to bed and woke up at 11 am feeling like garbage, rot gutted and running late I made it to the Rio to see a zoo. Last years short attendance was dwarfed by a capacity turnout which was awe inspiring. I found a bathroom and dropped the beer poop, then found my table (event 38, table 180) and began play.

2nd hand of the tourney I got a/a and there was a raise of 600 in front of me. I pushed, collected , and showed my hand after he thought for a spell.

A few hands later I got KQo and flopped top 2. I called a 300 bet then checked the turn. Bet 900 on the river and got called by someone who caught a worse 2 pair on the river.

I was sitting comfortably chipwise but then my stomach started to turn. I excused myself and went out into the heat to use the portable bathrooms. I dropped a little more crap but didn't feel any better. I went back in to play.

My return brought more good cards, but this time i was on the second best end. My pocket 8s raised and was re raised all in by a short stack w 1100 left. I called as I was the table leader at that point. His kings held up, and after that every time I played a pair I ran into someones QQ.2 times chipped me down to 700 in chips. My last Hand I was the small blind and had a j/9 s, I put in a 300 bet to steal leaving me 400 left. I was pushed all in by the big blind. Not wanting to be left with only 400 I decided to gamble and called. He had qq, I flopped a jack, and I had the rest of the night free.

I ended up taking advantage of the Stratospheres new member rewarded to get a free buffet, tshirt, show tickets to Bite, and 100$ in free cash.

I played some crapless craps and turned my bankroll into 1400$ and slowly donked it off on other forms of gambling and entertainment throughout the weekend.

So I was on the heater. I couldn't handle the heat. I pooped in the dutch oven portable crapper. Then I went card dead.
I'll put the tarp over this car wreck and let you focus on a more successful poker pro.

[jjshabado]

[ QUOTE ]
First time I've ever seen this thread, I'm in tears, rofl.


lolololol

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm bumping this awesome photoshop.

[top-spin]

Can someone please do MORE photoshops!!!

[Wesker1982]

lmao @ whole thread

[checktowin]

lmao

[jjshabado]

I've opened this thread about 15 times today, and I've laughed at the walrus-thing every time.

[TrvChBoy]

The walrus photoshop is the nuts

[Gonso]

all the links to mine died [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

Should have used image shack LDO, but then I never thought I'd see this thread again

[DanielM]

Funny flyer. I think the problem might be the picture of the seal, poker players need an animal they can relate to. You, know- an animal with a bigger waist line.