*OFFICIAL* Sexytime Containment Thread

[Suiteness]

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VERY sure. I seriously think I've been friendzoned. First documented female case. *sigh*. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

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To quote Chris Rock: "Men don't have platonic female friends..we have friends we just haven't [censored] yet.".

I guess he's too much of a wimp to make the first move so you'll have to do it for him.

[OrigamiSensei]

Oy, dbz, you're killing me.

Trust me, I have more experience in the friend zone than any man ever should and you're reading this whole thing incorrectly. The first thing you're missing is that because you've never reciprocated a single move this guy has made he is 100% dead certain that he is in the friend zone with you, not the other way around. Nonetheless he'll stick around in the forlorn hope that it might change. Second, guys who have no game and spend too much time in the friend zone get into this very strange and counterproductive mental state where they can only moon over one girl at a time because it feels like cheating to do otherwise. So even if he would have an interest in you he is unnecessarily fixated on someone else. But it's a really easy problem for you to fix. Which leads us to the last issue which is yours:

A shy guy musters up the courage to move 95% of the way there with a girl and she can't be bothered to get that 5% hurdle to be crossed. Then he becomes convinced he is friend-zoned and his attention moves elsewhere and then she somehow gets offended by it. This is because the friend-zone type guy believes attraction should be mutual and wants someone who will meet them somewhere in the middle for a relationship. The true baller and PUA will move for the close because in many cases that's what they are primarily looking for. Meanwhile many women are looking for the guy who will move the full 100% because the attention is fun and it's flattering and they don't have to do any of the work. Never mind that it will not necessarily get them the guy they claim to actually want.

You are describing a guy who is heterosexual and I have seen the alligator picture. Assuming the alligator picture is really you I can guarantee he's attracted. Thus the best course of action is (as noted above) the bold one of sticking your tongue down his throat. Move the last 5%, willya? I put the chances of rejection at roughly 0.298745983475%. And even if you do get rejected then you'll know and you'll move on. It's a no-lose situation.

[Georgia Avenue]

The other issue is though, dude, if he's not man enough to make that last move, he's not good enough for our young princess. I'm sure thats part of her reticence to pounce on him.

[PITTM]

Thats what you get for sympathizing with the Russians imo.

[divides_by_zero]

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The other issue is though, dude, if he's not man enough to make that last move, he's not good enough for our young princess. I'm sure thats part of her reticence to pounce on him.

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Actually a lot of the reticence comes from the fact that I really care about this dude as a friend and I don't want to [censored] things up and make them hella awkward for the rest of the year.

One of the things that's been mentioned is that it's a bad idea to date anyone in your cast because then you've made a commitment to work with them for a long period of time and if things go [censored] you're screwed. He has also mentioned reticence about dating girls he's been friends with because that's what happened in his last relationship (although they had known each other for about 7 years) and it messes things up.

And as to not responding to any of his moves - I've responded to everyone I've seen. I went to the party that he invited me to, I took him to a bar, I invited him home with me, I listen to him - have I missed something else? He hasn't leaned in, hasn't put his arm around me. I get hugs occasionally (cuz I'm a good little actress [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] ) which I reciprocate.

Whatever - tonight is round 2.

[Eurotrash]

dbz, this guy sounds like he has a severe case of the gay.


... btw do you want to go to the range sometime? I'll bring the .45s, we can hit the bars before or after.

[OrigamiSensei]

I gotcha GA. Just describing the mental process of the eternally friend zoned guy which I'm all too familiar with. Eight years of friend-zoned hell through high school and college because I lacked the cojones to either close the deal or move on. Thank heaven I'm long married and don't have to put up with this stuff anymore.

In any case the facts remain - she'll have to either move the last 5% herself or officially friend zone the guy and move on. It's obvious the next step is up to her. Only she can decide if he's worthy or not.

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He has also mentioned reticence about dating girls he's been friends with because that's what happened in his last relationship (although they had known each other for about 7 years) and it messes things up.

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dbz, this is a simply a defense mechanism. It is a complete and utter lie on his part. I would bet good money on this. He may even genuinely think he thinks that but when push comes to shove that little scruple will go out the window.

[divides_by_zero]

I'm not even sure he's into me! The problem is our professional and personal lives are so intertwined I can't tell the difference. And then realizing he's been frustrated because of the other chick was a pretty big blow.

He's dated, he's had girls, it stands to reason that if there's a girl he's interested in he knows how to demonstrate it. Ergo, if he hasn't for me, then he's not interested.

But, I'll have an opportunity to get him alone tonight. I have cigars!

[Georgia Avenue]

You may be right, but by her description he may actually be wavering about whether to date her or not. TBH he may be thinking of her as a done deal, and wants to keep his options open. He just got out of a relationship I hear, and he may feel that dbz is gf material but not a fbuddy type and doesn't want to mess up his friendship by hitting/quitting. I've been there before, and once I actually rejected a friend who told me that she liked me. Of course, she did it by telling me in like a "let's have a talk" kinda way, rather than just leaping one me, which I 100% would have caved in to.

So your advice stands: dbz should move in, but beware that it could be less serious for this dude.

Or my read could be wrong and he's really just a big pussy who is pining away for the DiBZ. (New nickname, imo)

[Eurotrash]

GA, tall broads that are math majors and 2nd amendment fans aren't exactly falling from the sky imo.