lol @ hellmuth

[Heavens_Myst]

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the above above above poster should be banned

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[Squareview]

smellmuth

[gobbomom]

mostly bad, but I kinda liked this part:

" It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card."

[Dhani]

what a noob

[2weak]

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the above above above above above above poster should be raped by annie duke

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[Gullanian]

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wtf is that video about I don't even get it

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[teh_mewse]

we need a bury option here

[fraserbrown]

Someone ban JackAll, who is probably Phil's chief ****sucker.

[88jayhawks]

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hellmuth is jesus

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Phil Hellmuth' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Phil Hellmuth can kill him and take it.

Phil Hellmuth doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Phil Hellmuth instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb.

Phil Hellmuth lost his virginity before his dad did.

Phil Hellmuth's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF Phil Hellmuth!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't [censored] with Phil!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Phil Hellmuth smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

The chief export of Phil Hellmuth is pain.

It was once believed that Phil Hellmuth actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Phil Hellmuth himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.

Phil Hellmuth recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Phil Hellmuth.

If you can see Phil Hellmuth, he can see you. If you can't see Phil Hellmuth, you may be only seconds away from death.

On the 7th day, God rested.... Phil Hellmuth took over.

Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Phil Hellmuth.

A duck's quack does not echo. Phil Hellmuth is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly.

Phil Hellmuth doesn't believe in Germany.

If you want a list of Phil Hellmuth' enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Phil Hellmuth has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

When Phil Hellmuth' wife burned the turkey one thanksgiving, Chuck said, "don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Phil Hellmuth."

Phil Hellmuth once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Phil Hellmuth doesn't need to swallow when eating food.

If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Phil Hellmuth.

Phil Hellmuth eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.

Phil Hellmuth owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.

Phil Hellmuth invented water.

Phil Hellmuth went looking for a bar but couldn't find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Phil Hellmuth yelled over the roar of the flames, "always leave things the way you found em!"

One time while sparring with Wolverine, Phil Hellmuth accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.

Phil Hellmuth is Luke Skywalker's real father.

Phil Hellmuth does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

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this might have been funny 3 years ago

[Jeffrey Dahmer]

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the above above above above above above poster should be raped by annie duke

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Top 3 worst punishments known to man.