Bling survey for engaged/married OOTers

[tdarko]

lol @ istewart [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

[StevieG]

No engagement ring.

Since my wedding band was a bit more than hers, our ratio is < 1.

[JJSCOTT2]

As a person who knows nothing about marriage, I don't understand the whole engagement ring + wedding ring thing, is the grossly expensive engagement ring like just for show while you're engaged and then you like put in in a box or something? The one my mom wore I guess like fit together as a 2-piece set but I get the impression this is not the norm.

[kmak]

1357x

I win.

Or lose, depending on perspective.

[offTopic]

[ QUOTE ]
As a person who knows nothing about marriage, I don't understand the whole engagement ring + wedding ring thing, is the grossly expensive engagement ring like just for show while you're engaged and then you like put in in a box or something? The one my mom wore I guess like fit together as a 2-piece set but I get the impression this is not the norm.

[/ QUOTE ]

What I've typically seen is that the engagement ring has the big rock on it, and the wedding band is actually pretty simple. After the wedding, the bride will wear them both, on the left hand, wear the wedding band on the left and the engagement ring on the right, weld them both together and wear them on the left, etc, etc, ...

[The Bus Driver]

[ QUOTE ]
As a person who knows nothing about marriage, I don't understand the whole engagement ring + wedding ring thing, is the grossly expensive engagement ring like just for show while you're engaged and then you like put in in a box or something? The one my mom wore I guess like fit together as a 2-piece set but I get the impression this is not the norm.

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This is the norm. The "norm" is for the engagement ring to be the big showy ring. Then you get a band that may or may not also be showy, but typically not a big rock like the engagement ring. It'll usually be just a band or a band with some small diamonds in it. Also somewhat common is the engagement ring will be a solitary with just one large diamond and then the wedding band is made to match and has maybe two or four somewhat large (but still smaller than the engagement diamond) diamonds that sit on either side of the engagement diamond. Then, she wears them both after the wedding. Many women weld the two together and make it essentially one ring. Many (my wife included) keep them separate, but wear them both on their left ring finger, like a ring that's just two pieces. In either case, in more detail, tradition is that the wedding band goes on first so it's nearer the base of her finger - except on the wedding day, of course, when the engagement ring is already on her finger and then she puts on the wedding band during the ceremony.

To those saying it's "sad" for the woman's engagement ring to be that much more expensive than the man's wedding band: I don't think it really is. The implication is that it's some hugely wasteful expenditure on some silly ring that doesn't really mean anything and is just a sign of people caught up in the "wrong" things or in being materialistic, etc. That's not necessarily true. While there are a lot of women who are indeed caught up entirely too much in the size of the rock or in the trivialities of the wedding process, to just dismiss those who spend a lot on the engagement ring as "sad" is somewhat sad in itself.

[SoloAJ]

TBD,

I am appreciative of your post as I wasn't entirely sure about all of the things you mentioned. It turns out I was right about them, but was really quite unsure.

I am still unsure as to how I feel about the whole "expensive ring" aspect of it. I get the feeling that the type of woman I'll someday marry won't view an expensive ring as a necessity. Nor will she be truly saddened if I didn't get her one (whether being open or hidden about that).

That, of course, doesn't mean that I won't be getting a fancy ring. Shrug. I have more important issues to worry about concerning marriage than the ring. I figure if I can hurdle all of the other obstacles--like finding a woman--then the ring problem will solve itself.

[The Bus Driver]

[ QUOTE ]
TBD,

I am appreciative of your post as I wasn't entirely sure about all of the things you mentioned. It turns out I was right about them, but was really quite unsure.

I am still unsure as to how I feel about the whole "expensive ring" aspect of it. I get the feeling that the type of woman I'll someday marry won't view an expensive ring as a necessity. Nor will she be truly saddened if I didn't get her one (whether being open or hidden about that).

That, of course, doesn't mean that I won't be getting a fancy ring. Shrug. I have more important issues to worry about concerning marriage than the ring. I figure if I can hurdle all of the other obstacles--like finding a woman--then the ring problem will solve itself.

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I wouldn't worry about whether or not you're going to be getting her a big huge ring or any ring at all. It'll sort itself out. If you're a big fancy ring kind of person, fine. If you're not, that's fine too. I'm pretty sure that if she's going to marry you for the right reasons, the ring isn't going to be an issue one way or another and she'll love it either way (unless you're stupid about it and buy way more than you can afford).

[fnord_too]

I got this cheesy "World Player" magazine somehow (I think Royal Vegas sent it to me when I used to play there, just started coming one day). There was a two page article on the African diamond trade in there one time, and I got my wife to read it. Now she does not want mne to buy her any diamonds. In business school, they call this goal congruence.

My number is between 1 and 9 (She read the thing a while after we were married, but didn't mind a reasonably priced engagement ring).

[The Bus Driver]

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[ QUOTE ]
As a person who knows nothing about marriage, I don't understand the whole engagement ring + wedding ring thing, is the grossly expensive engagement ring like just for show while you're engaged and then you like put in in a box or something? The one my mom wore I guess like fit together as a 2-piece set but I get the impression this is not the norm.

[/ QUOTE ]
This is the norm. The "norm" is for the engagement ring to be the big showy ring. Then you get a band that may or may not also be showy, but typically not a big rock like the engagement ring. It'll usually be just a band or a band with some small diamonds in it. Also somewhat common is the engagement ring will be a solitary with just one large diamond and then the wedding band is made to match and has maybe two or four somewhat large (but still smaller than the engagement diamond) diamonds that sit on either side of the engagement diamond. Then, she wears them both after the wedding. Many women weld the two together and make it essentially one ring. Many (my wife included) keep them separate, but wear them both on their left ring finger, like a ring that's just two pieces. In either case, in more detail, tradition is that the wedding band goes on first so it's nearer the base of her finger - except on the wedding day, of course, when the engagement ring is already on her finger and then she puts on the wedding band during the ceremony.

To those saying it's "sad" for the woman's engagement ring to be that much more expensive than the man's wedding band: I don't think it really is. The implication is that it's some hugely wasteful expenditure on some silly ring that doesn't really mean anything and is just a sign of people caught up in the "wrong" things or in being materialistic, etc. That's not necessarily true. While there are a lot of women who are indeed caught up entirely too much in the size of the rock or in the trivialities of the wedding process, to just dismiss those who spend a lot on the engagement ring as "sad" is somewhat sad in itself.

[/ QUOTE ]
Back to the part about women wearing both rings on their left finger and then they're either welded together or kept loose as two rings. My wife has kept her rings separate. As a practical matter, I think this is the way to go. She's athletic and active. When she's being active or is doing something where she's worried that she could damage or muck up her engagement ring, she can leave that at home and still wear the wedding band without having to worry too much about losing or damaging the pretty expensive engagement ring. It's also a good idea to leave the big showy engagement ring at home when we travel abroad. Having the rings separate means she can still wear her wedding band without attracting too much attention to a huge diamond on her finger.