Bling survey for engaged/married OOTers

[NajdorfDefense]

[ QUOTE ]
I cannot understand why people spend so much on rings. Totally stupid...
1. You spend a lot of money on something almost completely useless.

[/ QUOTE ]

1) You are stupid to not understand that many many many men like making their future wives very happy. This is not news. The highlight of a lot of people's lives is the look on their fiancee's face during the proposal, pre or post-kids.

2) Diamonds are more or less forever, and tend to hold their intrinsic value + inflation [not incl any ridic retail markup] and can be passed down from generation to generation for hundreds of years. I'm gonna inherit my mother's, grandmother's and great-grandmother's someday, eff all if I know what to do with them, but 2 of them are remarkable works of art/jewelry with craftsmanship and detail that alone would cost $20k or more today, not incl jewels.

[ QUOTE ]
you increase the chances that you will marry a greedy money-hungry bitch.

[/ QUOTE ]

So, you date someone for a 2 years, and only when you pull the wedding ring out for a proposal do you suddenly notice:
a) she's greedy, and
b) money-hungry, and
c) a bitch?

Most of us notice that after 1 date - 3mos of dating. I'm gonna guess that you are special.

[By-Tor]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I cannot understand why people spend so much on rings. Totally stupid...
1. You spend a lot of money on something almost completely useless.

[/ QUOTE ]

1) You are stupid to not understand that many many many men like making their future wives very happy. This is not news. The highlight of a lot of people's lives is the look on their fiancee's face during the proposal, pre or post-kids.

2) Diamonds are more or less forever, and tend to hold their intrinsic value + inflation [not incl any ridic retail markup] and can be passed down from generation to generation for hundreds of years. I'm gonna inherit my mother's, grandmother's and great-grandmother's someday, eff all if I know what to do with them, but 2 of them are remarkable works of art/jewelry with craftsmanship and detail that alone would cost $20k or more today, not incl jewels.

[ QUOTE ]
you increase the chances that you will marry a greedy money-hungry bitch.

[/ QUOTE ]

So, you date someone for a 2 years, and only when you pull the wedding ring out for a proposal do you suddenly notice:
a) she's greedy, and
b) money-hungry, and
c) a bitch?

Most of us notice that after 1 date - 3mos of dating. I'm gonna guess that you are special.

[/ QUOTE ]


you have been well trained....
























....by women.

[VoraciousReader]

It's not his fault that he buys into the hype, misinformation and outright brainwashing of the diamond industry in this country.

Diamonds are a religion in this country. Ruling out a woman as materialistic because she wants one is unfair. Yes, you're going to avoid some money-grubbing golddiggers, but mostly you're going to eliminate perfectly nice women that just haven't ever questioned their expectations, because they are so deeply programmed.

Frankly, most men are the same. In fact, I know several husbands who were MUCH more concerned about the ring than their brides were. Speaking as a woman, try telling the man in your life that what you'd REALLY PREFER for your engagement ring to be a gorgeous blue topaz or green quartz (which means a huge stone set in white gold will run you about 200 dollars). Most guys protest and say that you SHOULD have a diamond, you DESERVE a diamond and they certainly don't want anyone to think that they CAN'T BUY you a diamond.

I think it's absurd that we essentially tell people in this country: "Fantastic, you're a lovely young couple going out to build a life together that will (we hope) include home ownership, children, grandchildren, and a comfy retirement...and the Very First Thing you should do is go thousands of dollars in debt for a not-very-rare gemstone. Happy Engagement!" But we do, and criticizing women as money-grubbing because they expect it is not fair.

[By-Tor]

Well said and this is especially a good point...

[ QUOTE ]
...and they certainly don't want anyone to think that they CAN'T BUY you a diamond....

[/ QUOTE ]

[SoloAJ]

[ QUOTE ]
It's not his fault that he buys into the hype, misinformation and outright brainwashing of the diamond industry in this country.

Diamonds are a religion in this country. Ruling out a woman as materialistic because she wants one is unfair. Yes, you're going to avoid some money-grubbing golddiggers, but mostly you're going to eliminate perfectly nice women that just haven't ever questioned their expectations, because they are so deeply programmed.

Frankly, most men are the same. In fact, I know several husbands who were MUCH more concerned about the ring than their brides were. Speaking as a woman, try telling the man in your life that what you'd REALLY PREFER for your engagement ring to be a gorgeous blue topaz or green quartz (which means a huge stone set in white gold will run you about 200 dollars). Most guys protest and say that you SHOULD have a diamond, you DESERVE a diamond and they certainly don't want anyone to think that they CAN'T BUY you a diamond.

I think it's absurd that we essentially tell people in this country: "Fantastic, you're a lovely young couple going out to build a life together that will (we hope) include home ownership, children, grandchildren, and a comfy retirement...and the Very First Thing you should do is go thousands of dollars in debt for a not-very-rare gemstone. Happy Engagement!" But we do, and criticizing women as money-grubbing because they expect it is not fair.


[/ QUOTE ]

[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

That said, the whole "you might just be avoiding a woman who is programmed and hasn't questioned things yet" is something I think I'd prefer avoid (though it isn't some sort of deal breaker....I just mean given the preference).

[CallMeIshmael]

By-Tor,

settle a (serious) debate that came up w/ a few people today: did you buy your wife?

[XXXNoahXXX]

[ QUOTE ]
By-Tor,

settle a (serious) debate that came up w/ a few people today: did you lease your wife for two years

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP

[By-Tor]

[ QUOTE ]
By-Tor,

settle a (serious) debate that came up w/ a few people today: did you buy your wife?

[/ QUOTE ]

Nope.

I've mentioned before, and don't mind mentioning again, she is a reporter and I have an interest in photo-journalism and have free-lanced from time to time in the past. We met like normal people meet.

At the time, she was here on a work visa and we have since transferred that paperwork to the normal green card processing for married people.

She received her card earlier this month actually...faster then anyone else she knows that has gone through the process (mainly co-workers).

The main reason we where processed so quickly is that when you don't have to lie, as we didn't, processing goes very smoothly.

Go figure.

[RitaNg123]

I'm not yet married, just engaged. My engagement ring cost $13 000, and I think we will each spend around $1000 or so on the wedding bands. So however the math equation works out for that, lol.

As for rings and whether spending a lot is necessary or not... I think couples generally have a pretty good idea of what the other wants/expects. I really wanted a carat on a platinum, and so my boyfriend really made efforts to get me something I wanted. I would rather wait awhile longer and get something I will cherish for years, over something that I will be disappointed in. Maybe this sounds horrible, or materialistic, but like I said, I think people have certain expectations of each other, and as long as this doesn't put a strain on those in the relationship, I don't think it's fair for others to judge.

As mentioned in a previous post, some people might look at $300 as a ridiculous and unnecessary cost, whereas some might consider $20 000 to be a small chunk of change. It's all relative.