Please, Some help with "prayers"

[Fishwhenican]

[ QUOTE ]
I totally understand Fish, but I guess it's just weird that there's a job out there in a Catholic organization that doesn't mind that you're not Catholic, but yet still wants you to lead prayers.

Just seems screwy to me, LOL. I would think that if part of the job description is to lead in prayers, then they should at least want an employee to be either Catholic or religious....

But I didn't mean to make it into a 'why did you take the job', I understand your request and was just putting in my opinion that being that you work for a Catholic organization, I was thinking that the Catholic's in charge (your bosses) may not be too thrilled with prayers that don't go with their religion...but I must be off base on that assumption. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

No harm, no foul. I personally can't think of a prayer that starts without some form of opening address/salutation to the "higher being" that you all are supposed to be praying to.

Hmmm, I think I'll sit back and see what others come up with. I may just be overthinking this, those damn Catholics!! [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

T

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LOL, Yes it is a bit of an interesting deal isn't it! You should have seen my friends back in WI when I told then I was going to work for a religious organization. But i guess a thing to consider is that this is not a "Church". It is mainly a school and a Non-Profit organization that happens to be a Catholic School. So while religion and "Catholic Identity" is important, it is not the biggest thing out there.

FWIW, My direct boss, who is basically the big Kauna, is not Catholic either. He is Baptist.
It is also interesting that for many of our larger gatherings/meetings there are actually three prayers to start us out. There will be the traditional Catholic prayer and then Crow and Northern Cheyenne prayers as well.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
What is the context of the meeting?

I'm not blessed with faith, but I can lay it on pretty thick. A KT original may be in order.

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haha, this actually sounds like it could be fun. Writing a religious piece when you're not religious.

It also sounds like it could be twisted into something terrifically irreligious and perhaps funny too.

I'll be interested to see the efforts of anyone who writes an original piece.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
Or you could take one from Monty Python:

"O Lord, Ooh, you are so big, so absolutely huge, Gosh, we are all impressed down here, I can tell you. Forgive us, O Lord, for our dreadful toadying, but you are just so super. Amen."

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Heheh, I love! That sounds like Eric Idle. He was always great with the "super!"

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
Thanks be to our heavenly father for providing us sanctuary in the midst of chaos and despair, for keeping us sane while those around us are losing their way and behaving like tards and greedy little [censored], ripping people off and in general being selfish little [censored] preying on the innocent (you know, for example, stealing my copper wiring not to mention my hutch and rothko's box of love notes). Thank you father for all you give us on a daily basis and which we often take for granted (even though the guy next door to me has a lot more than I'll ever have and everyone knows he's a real jerk).

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Sweet!

[Fishwhenican]

[ QUOTE ]
Thanks be to our heavenly father for providing us sanctuary in the midst of chaos and despair, for keeping us sane while those around us are losing their way and behaving like tards and greedy little [censored], ripping people off and in general being selfish little [censored] preying on the innocent (you know, for example, stealing my copper wiring not to mention my hutch and rothko's box of love notes). Thank you father for all you give us on a daily basis and which we often take for granted (even though the guy next door to me has a lot more than I'll ever have and everyone knows he's a real jerk).

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LOL, Pretty good Katy.
Don't know if I can use it in the Business meeting though [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[Blarg]

Use it for your Daily Mumble. If you're an IT guy, you can probably get away with it.

[Fishwhenican]

[ QUOTE ]
Use it for your Daily Mumble. If you're an IT guy, you can probably get away with it.

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Oh Gee, What fun would that be. LOL

Maybe I could use this one. Not exactly a prayer, it was actually a kind of song thing, but I always thought it would be fun to use as one

National Lampoon's Deteriorata!

Introduction

You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here.....
Deteriorata! Deteriorata!

Go placidly
Amid the noise and waste.
And remember what comfort there may be
In owning a piece thereof.

Avoid quiet and passive persons
Unless you are in need of sleep.

Rotate your tires.

Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself
And heed well their advice,
Even though they be turkeys.

Know what to kiss.....and when!

Consider that two wrongs never make a right
But that THREE.........do.

Wherever possible, put people on hold.

Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment
And despite the changing fortunes of time,
There is always a big future in computer main-te-nance.

Chorus

You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back.

Remember the Pueblo.

Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle and mu-ti-late.

Know yourself.
If you need help, call the FBI.

Exercise caution in your daily affairs,
Especially with those persons closest to you.
That lemon on your left, for instance.

Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls
Would scarcely get your feet wet.

Fall not in love therefore;
It will stick to your face.

Gracefully surrender the things of youth:
The birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan
And let not the sands of time
Get in your lunch.

Hire people with hooks.

For a good time call 606-4311;
Ask for "Ken."

Take heart amid the deepening gloom
That your dog is finally getting enough cheese.

And reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot
It could only be worse in Milwaukee.

Chorus

You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back.

Therefore, make peace with your god
Whatever you conceive him to be---
Hairy thunderer, or cosmic muffin.

With all its hopes, dreams, promises and urban renewal
The world continues to deteriorate.

GIVE UP!

Reprise

You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back.

[Blarg]

How about a sing-along? Try this hymn from The Reverend Steve Martin:

Be courteous, kind and forgiving,
Be gentle and peaceful each day,
Be warm and human and grateful,
And have a good thing to say.

Be thoughtful and trustful and childlike,
Be witty and happy and wise,
Be honest and love all your neighbors,
Be obsequious, purple, and clairvoyant.

Be pompous, obese, and eat cactus,
Be dull, and boring, and omnipresent,
Criticize things you don't know about,
Be oblong and have your knees removed.

Be tasteless, rude, and offensive,
Live in a swamp and be three dimensional,
Put a live chicken in your underwear,
Get all excited and go to a yawning festival.

O.K. everybody!

Be courteous, kind and forgiving,
Be gentle and peaceful each day,
Be warm and human and grateful,
And have a good thing to say.

Be thoughtful and trustful and childlike,
(O.K. everybody on this!)
Be witty and happy and wise,
Be honest and love all your neighbors,
Be obsequious, purple, and clairvoyant.
(Let 'em hear you outside!)

Be pompous, obese, and eat cactus,
(Everybody sing!)
Be dull, and boring, and omnipresent,
Criticize things you don't know about,
Be oblong and have your knees removed.

(Ladies only)
Be tasteless, rude, and offensive,
(Now the men)
Live in a swamp and be three dimensional,
(Everybody)
Put a live chicken in your underwear,
Go into a closet and suck eggs.

[Fishwhenican]

[ QUOTE ]
How about a sing-along? Try this hymn from The Reverend Steve Martin:

Be courteous, kind and forgiving,
Be gentle and peaceful each day,
Be warm and human and grateful,
And have a good thing to say.

Be thoughtful and trustful and childlike,
Be witty and happy and wise,
Be honest and love all your neighbors,
Be obsequious, purple, and clairvoyant.

Be pompous, obese, and eat cactus,
Be dull, and boring, and omnipresent,
Criticize things you don't know about,
Be oblong and have your knees removed.

Be tasteless, rude, and offensive,
Live in a swamp and be three dimensional,
Put a live chicken in your underwear,
Get all excited and go to a yawning festival.

O.K. everybody!

Be courteous, kind and forgiving,
Be gentle and peaceful each day,
Be warm and human and grateful,
And have a good thing to say.

Be thoughtful and trustful and childlike,
(O.K. everybody on this!)
Be witty and happy and wise,
Be honest and love all your neighbors,
Be obsequious, purple, and clairvoyant.
(Let 'em hear you outside!)

Be pompous, obese, and eat cactus,
(Everybody sing!)
Be dull, and boring, and omnipresent,
Criticize things you don't know about,
Be oblong and have your knees removed.

(Ladies only)
Be tasteless, rude, and offensive,
(Now the men)
Live in a swamp and be three dimensional,
(Everybody)
Put a live chicken in your underwear,
Go into a closet and suck eggs.

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL, Ya I remember that one.
Needs a banjo!

Crap, now it's stuck in my head!

[VickreyAuction]

The Lord Buddha was born in Kabira,
Enlightened in Makada,
Taught in Harana,
Died in Kuchira.
As we spread the vessels of the Lord we pray
That they who eat, the things that are eaten
And the actual eating shall be universally void of self.

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Even as the fingers of the two hands are equal, so are human beings equal to one another. No one has any right, nor any preference to claim over another. You are brothers.

------

The best among you are those who are best to their wives.

First 1 Buddhism, last 2 Islam. Just throwing out ideas.