I'm a sucker for comfort

[kkcountry]

I've got a horrible work ethic, and probably play fewer hands per month than any other person whose sole source of income is poker. (I'm serious, < 2k hands this month) The only time I've ever been able to put a decent amount of work in is when financially, something puts my back against the wall. Then I'll play until I win whatever dollar amount I need to be back in my financial comfort zone, then almost instantly stop playing. From there I'll barely play at all, slowly allowing my bankroll to dwindle, until some other financial crisis forces me to start playing again.

And when I say I need a financial crisis to get me to start playing, I mean a crisis. My car is one bump away from breaking down on me, but still that's not enough motivation. In my current state I'm not going to start putting in enough hands to buy a new car until my current one is in pieces.

The sickest, most twisted part about it is if I were to really grind, I'd obviously be much better off, much more "comfortable" but I just can't do it. I happen to have a small amount of monthly expenses, so "paying the bills" really isn't sufficient motivation.

I'm incredibly upset with myself and flat out depressed about this cycle I've been in for my entire poker career. If anybody could help me in anyway to break this, it could be the most important change I could make in my life.

Thanks.