Recommend me some beer, plz

[XXXNoahXXX]

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you drink the Cherry Wheat, don't you?

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Sam Adams is actually too rich for me, even the light. I prefer a lighter, fresher beer, so I just use those glasses for Corona Light (3 parts beer, 1 part water, three limes)

[Badger]

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easy answer:

yuengling pretty much fits all the guidelines

downside is it is a lager so its a bit more filling but not too much so

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All beers OP mentioned are lagers.
Also it's not widely available.

[xorbie]

[DingusMcgee]

Blue Moon

[eviljeff]

Red Stripe

[neuroman]

Red Hook is exactly what you're looking for. Very affordable, I often see them around for $13 for a 12 pack.

Red Hook ESB
Red Hook Longhammer IPA (milder than most IPAs, and good)
Red Hook Winterhook
Red Hook Copperhook

all are completely solid. You're not going to get "decent" beer for under $1/bottle, fyi.

[eviljeff]

Anchor Steam

[RunDownHouse]

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Tastes good.

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shows I am classy

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Cans preferred.

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[img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

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Plenty of good beer comes in cans, try Dale's or Surly. In fact, I'd never buy a euro import in a green bottle if it could be had in cans.

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Order of importance:
1. Tastes good. This one is obvious.

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Tons of specifics have been given in the many OOT threads and in TLDR's long-standing beer thread. So I'll give you some style advice instead.

Stay away from "Imperial" anything. Stay away from Barleywines. Stay away from IPAs. Stay away from "Double" anythings, in general. Stay away from Dogfish Head. These are all very aggressive styles of beer (or brewery, in DFH's case) that the general BMC drinker won't find very palatable. I think some of those beers are some of my favorites, but in general, you have to work your way up to really loving 100 IBU beer (very bitter).

Look for amber ales, brown ales, English pales, Brooklyn Lager, and good czech pils. These styles are all, in general, softer on the palate and more balanced. I mention Brooklyn specifically because the American craft brew movement has really been alecentric. There aren't as many lagers out there, and thus not as many good ones, and thus really not many good ones you should be able to find just about anywhere in PA. If you like roasted or chocolate flavors a lot, then you can try a good porter or stout, but it'll be further away from your experience than something like an amber ale.

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2. Mainstream beer. Something I can find at most beer outlets. Cans preferred.

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I'm not being an AB homer here: Look for special beers from AB and Michelob, stay away from SABMiller. AB and Mich have really been trying to reach the craft market over the last couple years, and have been working on styles with more flavor, different ingredients, etc. I think both brands have special samplers out right now. Miller's head of Am. Ops has flat-out stated that craft beers are a passing fad, he doesn't expect them to have any long-term carry, and he'd rather compete with the wine-cooler/malt beverage market. Hence Miller Chill, which is not good.

Cans are fine, as explained above.

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3. Mid-price range. Obviously price varies based on region of US, but looking for something nicer than the beers above, without being too expensive.

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Bad news: beer ingredient prices are skyrocketing, hops in particular. Certain varieties of hops have gone up by 300% in the last half-year alone, and there's no hope of price coming down until the new crop gets in. Malt prices are also rapidly increasing. Look for all micros to go up in price starting, well, now. The big boys own most of their suppliers and use a smaller variety of ingredients, so they're more insulated. I can't tell you how much you should expect for a midrange micro since I have no idea how much things cost in PA. I usually pay right around $7 for a sixer; some are a bit cheaper, some are a bit expensive. I don't usually buy stuff that's more than $8.50-$9.50 a sixer unless there's a good reason for it. The AB/Mich specialty brews should all be closer to $6/6.

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4. Doesn't fill you up too much. This isn't as important, but I don't want a beer that makes you feel really full after drinking a couple. This is being consumed for the purpose of getting drunk.

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The styles I told you to look for will all be more quaffable than the ones I told you not to look for. It's easier to slam those beers than it is to slam a 12% ABV barleywine. That being said, I think the "fullness" thing is more subjective than objective,. Buy a 6-pack, see how you feel.

As for getting drunk, higher ABV beers will get you drunk more quickly, but are (generally) more expensive, more aggressive, harder to find, harder to slam, etc. So it's a tradeoff: beer you like the taste of, can find, and can drink quickly, versus the big boys. If you run across a beer labeled a "session beer," that means it's lower ABV and easier to drink. You'd probably like these more than you'd like DFH's 120, but you'd have to drink more to get drunk.

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5. Status symbol. This is optional, but any beer that shows I am classy (without costing a ton) is a nice addition.

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wtf are you trying to impress?

[Badger]

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beer snobs argue about the classiest canned beer?

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Good point. I was blind sided by the can part of the argument and more focusing on Heineken being called classy.

Anyways, if OP was talking about more of a step up than Miller Lite/Bud light I think Sam Adam's is a pretty good recommendation.

Leinenkugel's is fairly widely available, although some of the stuff has the best distribution is their fruity/sweet beer.

Personally if I want a decent cheap beer I'll drink Pabst.

You're really limiting yourself if you want cans. Full Sail has "Session" beer (more predominantly marked as Session than Full Sail) which is good and often times around 10 bucks for a 12 pack of bottles. I think you might like Prima Pils, although that is probably pricey.

[RunDownHouse]

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Red Hook is exactly what you're looking for. Very affordable, I often see them around for $13 for a 12 pack.

Red Hook ESB

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This would also be a great style for you to try, and a good example of it.

In general, the English hops are a bit fruitier and more laid-back than American hops, which are more citruisy and have more bite to them. That's why I recommended looking for an English pale over an American.