Worst strip club experience.

[tuq]

Klompy,

I shudder to think what the dancers in a club in Pella, Iowa must look like. The last thing they should be doing is scamming you. The first thing they should be doing is shaving their armpits.

[Alltimed]

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My worst strip club experience. I was at a nasty strip club in South Dakota as sort of a new job initiation.

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Did this strip club happen to be in Yankton, SD? As this is the worst strip club I have ever been to.

[Klompy]

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Klompy,

I shudder to think what the dancers in a club in Pella, Iowa must look like. The last thing they should be doing is scamming you. The first thing they should be doing is shaving their armpits.

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LOL at the idea of my hometown having strip clubs in it. This all happened in Des Moines. "The lumber yard" where real men go to get wood.

I can't deny that their wednesday crew isn't exactly their A team though.

[TomE.]

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maybe some consider it a brag, heh, but he was massively embarrassed and made me promise not to tell anyone. That lasted a couple days.

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This is why you wear dark pants to a strip club. A quick trip to the stall for a cleanup, no one is the wiser.

I can't believe the horrific stories everyone has about strip clubs. If you don't get really wasted, don't use the ATM or get a cash advance, don't buy shots from the shot girls, you won't spend all your money and the strip club experience will be totally awesome. At least in the Detroit area it is. Here are some general guidelines you can follow:

-If the dancers hands aren't all over you during the first dance (or vice-versa), don't get a 2nd dance.

-Tip the bouncer when you walk in, even if it''s only $5. Consider it insurance for the rest of the evening.

-Tip your waitress heavy early, then ask her which dancers are best. The dancers she recommends are her friends, stay away from them. The ones she calls "whores" are the ones you want.

-Don't act like a drunken frat boy. This really annoys the dancers and they know you don't have the wallet that would get them to do the stuff you want.

Disclaimer in case my wife finds this site: I have no first hand knowledge of this, this is all stuff gathered from teh intertubes.

[metsandfinsfan]

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A few years ago, a buddy was ejected from a club for ejaculating during a lap dance. To be fair, this was a hands on club and she was a serious grinder.

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in a good club, ejacualting during a lapdance should be standard. Getting ejected for it is ridiculous

[KurtSF]

So my niece is visiting for her 21st birthday along with her boyfriend. They're from sticksville; real hicks and proud of it. Me, the wife, the niece, and her boyfriend have a nice Italian dinner with a couple bottles of wine and a happy birthday shot afterward, then hit the bar next door where they pour strong drinks. We stumble back toward home and duck into a dive bar where boyfriend starts buying everyone Jaeger-bombs.

I black out at some point here, but apparently someone thought it would be a good idea to go to the strip club, 'cuz the next thing I remember is getting some [censored] in my face. The wife and I are enjoying the dances in the main room, and niece and boyfriend disappear with a stripper. I assume they are having a good time, but only later do I piece together that this is what really happened: niece thinks stripper actually likes her, and is shocked when after 20 minutes she grabs the ~$60 from her purse and leaves.

So I'm just sitting there watching my wife get her face buried in some huge silicone titties when niece comes out crying something about having something stolen or something. Boyfriend is pissed at stripper for making niece cry and is starting to yell (at no one in particular since she is long gone) about what a c*** and a wh*** she is. Niece checks her purse to find out how much is gone and finds her credit card missing. Boyfriend starts yelling at bouncers that if they don't do something he's going to "take matters into his own hands." We've got to get out of here.

I drag the wife outside and tell her that no matter what happens stay right here, if they know you're outside they might get the clue that we're leaving. Go back in and niece is now raving hysterically about having her credit card stolen by a stripper and boyfriend looks like he's about to start a fight. I drag niece outside and dump her with the wife for consoling then go back in for the boyfriend. Now that he's alone I think he realized starting [censored] isn't such a bright idea and I talk him down and convince him he should go see his GF outside. Phew! We all make it out and head home.

Once back at our apartment, boyfriend and wife head to the roof for a cigarette and I'm left console niece. Niece finds her credit card and we join the party on the roof.

Much ado about nothing.

I avoided that club for a couple months, and was ever so slightly concerned about losing my favorite strip club, but they didn't seem to remember us the next time we went back.

[TomE.]

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So I'm just sitting there watching my wife get her face buried in some huge silicone titties

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See this is a good SC experience. Well, except for the BF yelling at the bouncers. That could have ended really poorly.

[Vehn]

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A few years ago, a buddy was ejected from a club for ejaculating during a lap dance. To be fair, this was a hands on club and she was a serious grinder.

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in a good club, ejacualting during a lapdance should be standard. Getting ejected for it is ridiculous

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[img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

You can go to strip clubs at age 12?

[prohornblower]

C-Section scars. All the dancers had them at this one club we went to during daytime (a bad idea).

These chicks were draining budweisers right in front of us while climbing up on stage, and setting their beer down on the damn stage.

I think Houston has more clubs per capita than any American city. They can't all be quality.

[neuroman]

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C-Section scars. All the dancers had them at this one club we went to during daytime (a bad idea).

These chicks were draining budweisers right in front of us while climbing up on stage, and setting their beer down on the damn stage.

I think Houston has more clubs per capita than any American city. They can't all be quality.

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ewwwwww

anyway... paging nath.