The "Never Say" Book

[Bipolar00]

"i never win with pocket aces ZOMGWTFBBQ, id rather have XX"

Where XX = their 1st loves last 2 phone digits, or w/e the [censored] sentimental value those two rags possess

[youtalkfunny]

Any crude remark ("Happy Meal", "Dinner for Two", or "My favorite hand!") when a 96 is tabled. Especially if there is a female at the table.

I love telling offenders, "That lady sitting down there at the other end of the table is my mother, so take it easy, all right?", even though my mother has never set foot in a poker room.

[llleisure]

before the flop is dealt: "Pick me dealer!" and they really do mean it. they need help. lots of help.

[gobboboy]

"Big blind special" after they call a ton more preflop makes me so ridiculously depressed.

[pfapfap]

[ QUOTE ]
Any crude remark ("Happy Meal", "Dinner for Two", or "My favorite hand!") when a 96 is tabled. Especially if there is a female at the table.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow, that's incredibly sexist.

Psst, women know about penes and vaginas, too. I hear some of 'em have even had sex. Except for my mother; she's a saint.

(Yes, the plural of penis is penes. Makes you wonder what Santa's elves are really made of...)

[jasonfish11]

"Donkey" anyone that calls someone a donkey and is wearing a FTP hat and sunglass is my new target. Not to mention you suck at poker sir.

Things Ive said that I really like.

I was the first BB in a single table and said "I like to go all in on my first BB." I proceeded to look down at AA and got 2 callers.

River went check check with some a-hole "I have a 4 card flush." Board was [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] He says "good" and mucks. Dealer says "Jack high wins." The guy then says "you said flush" everyone at the table simultaniously says "no he said 4 card flush." Everyone hated this guy to say the least (so did the dealer).

[The B]

[ QUOTE ]
any phrase with the word "chark" in it. As in "De chark is hungry" or "De chark is all een"

[/ QUOTE ]

or how do you say the chark in Spaneesh...Ummmbertoe

[p2fgf]

[ QUOTE ]
"Big blind special" after they call a ton more preflop makes me so ridiculously depressed.

[/ QUOTE ]

/thread

[AngusThermopyle]

"One more spade" by a rock who just capped it on the turn with a board of:

A [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] K [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] 7 [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] K [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]

[Lottery Larry]

nit...