Two Plus Two Newer Archives  

Go Back   Two Plus Two Newer Archives > General Poker Discussion > Poker Beats, Brags, and Variance
FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Search

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #21  
Old 08-16-2007, 04:03 PM
Janis N. Janis N. is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 527
Default Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions (The Sequel)

[ QUOTE ]
Phil Gordon?

[/ QUOTE ]Likely. Negreanu has a proper account but could also run a few gimmick ones I would think.
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 08-16-2007, 04:30 PM
BowToYourSensei BowToYourSensei is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: backpedaling (for the moment)
Posts: 7,261
Default Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions (The Sequel)

Goes to show nobody ever has to die a virgin

[ QUOTE ]
This is a throw away account, so please don't track down, everything here is real, hence the one time account.

I am not a kid anymore. I am in my 30's and cannot understand why I have such big problems with women. I guess maybe I put them on a pedestal. Or maybe it's my strict upbringing. Or maybe it's because we moved around alot when I was a kid. I swear when you do this alot, you have no chance of developing strong friendships and you completely socially retard your offspring. At least it did me.

.
My parents were very religious and strict. As a result they wouldn't even allow us to go to health class to learn about reproductive processes or contreception.But to this day, they never had "the talk" with me either, Where the f*ck was I supposed to learn about this then? How was this not going to F*ck me up???

I remember liking girls as a kid, but never daring talk to them. As a result I ended up getting off in very different ways. I watched my sister (1 yr. older) in the shower more times than I can count. One day when the whole family was away, I even got a screwedriver and loosened the jam so I could get a better view when watching. I even let the family dog lick my dick a few times, but I couldn't look at myself in the mirror after a while, so that stopped. This was my sex education in high school.

I never had any real girlfriends in highschool and by the time I was in the military, I had never even kissed a girl. But the military is very different, it does something to girls, you don't even have to try and you will get laid. They can't see past the uniform or something. Actually, my thought is it's because they want out of their deadend town so bad, they hope you get them pregnant so you have to take them with you. Anyways, I remember my first time it was in a hotel with about 10 other people making out. We had the floor and she handed me a condem. I didn't even know how to use one, but I managed to slip it on and about 30 seconds later it came off. But I didn't know what to do, so I kept banging her. About a minute later it was over. I pulled out and let go on the carpet at least I had enough sense for that. The f*cked up thing is I go to sleep and about an hour later, I wake up to see her going over to my "friend" for seconds. His girl went home so there I was trying to go to sleep listening to my girl being f*cked by my buddy.That was my only full blown intercourse in the military.

After I got out I still had issues. I remember sharing an aprtment with my sister. She had a boyfriend and they would f*ck like bunnies, every damn day I get home from work and they are going at it. Finally I stopped tuning them out and would crawl over to their door and listen to them while rubbing one out. Yeah, I have issues!

About 3 years later, I land a job where travel is a big part of it. I have in that time managed to have sex one other time, and it was as spectacular as the first time. As a matter of fact it was even more pathetic, I kept slipping out of her as she was pretty much a whore, so she eventually had to get on top so she could control it. I finished that time in about 2 minutes. She then determines she wants more, so she attempts to get it by sucking on my droopy, floppy, listless member longer than it took for me to finish the 1st time. She eventually figures it out and goes away.

Fast forward to to the new job. I get to travel to many different states and many different countries. In my time there I manage to sleep with 6 different girls in 6 different countries. They all were prostitutes and they were all paid for on my company credit card. My company didn't keep very good records as the copmpany was kind of new and small (1998 80employees) as a result, I often would just write my own receipts for bogus supplies needed or would just say they didn't give me one or I must have lost it.

I have since then left that company and got onto a much bigger one. I am not 300 lbs. nor do I have sores and blisters all over my face. I just don't know how to get with women. . I have decided I am a sort of a connoisseur on the subject. I have been to many different brothels all over the world. I have used escorts, massage parlors, and craigslist. I have decided that this is the way it will be for me. I will always get prostitutes. I guess they are around for guys like me

[/ QUOTE ]
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 08-16-2007, 04:34 PM
Heavens_Myst Heavens_Myst is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,763
Default Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions (The Sequel)

[ QUOTE ]
Goes to show nobody ever has to die a virgin

[ QUOTE ]
This is a throw away account, so please don't track down, everything here is real, hence the one time account.

I am not a kid anymore. I am in my 30's and cannot understand why I have such big problems with women. I guess maybe I put them on a pedestal. Or maybe it's my strict upbringing. Or maybe it's because we moved around alot when I was a kid. I swear when you do this alot, you have no chance of developing strong friendships and you completely socially retard your offspring. At least it did me.

.
My parents were very religious and strict. As a result they wouldn't even allow us to go to health class to learn about reproductive processes or contreception.But to this day, they never had "the talk" with me either, Where the f*ck was I supposed to learn about this then? How was this not going to F*ck me up???

I remember liking girls as a kid, but never daring talk to them. As a result I ended up getting off in very different ways. I watched my sister (1 yr. older) in the shower more times than I can count. One day when the whole family was away, I even got a screwedriver and loosened the jam so I could get a better view when watching. I even let the family dog lick my dick a few times, but I couldn't look at myself in the mirror after a while, so that stopped. This was my sex education in high school.

I never had any real girlfriends in highschool and by the time I was in the military, I had never even kissed a girl. But the military is very different, it does something to girls, you don't even have to try and you will get laid. They can't see past the uniform or something. Actually, my thought is it's because they want out of their deadend town so bad, they hope you get them pregnant so you have to take them with you. Anyways, I remember my first time it was in a hotel with about 10 other people making out. We had the floor and she handed me a condem. I didn't even know how to use one, but I managed to slip it on and about 30 seconds later it came off. But I didn't know what to do, so I kept banging her. About a minute later it was over. I pulled out and let go on the carpet at least I had enough sense for that. The f*cked up thing is I go to sleep and about an hour later, I wake up to see her going over to my "friend" for seconds. His girl went home so there I was trying to go to sleep listening to my girl being f*cked by my buddy.That was my only full blown intercourse in the military.

After I got out I still had issues. I remember sharing an aprtment with my sister. She had a boyfriend and they would f*ck like bunnies, every damn day I get home from work and they are going at it. Finally I stopped tuning them out and would crawl over to their door and listen to them while rubbing one out. Yeah, I have issues!

About 3 years later, I land a job where travel is a big part of it. I have in that time managed to have sex one other time, and it was as spectacular as the first time. As a matter of fact it was even more pathetic, I kept slipping out of her as she was pretty much a whore, so she eventually had to get on top so she could control it. I finished that time in about 2 minutes. She then determines she wants more, so she attempts to get it by sucking on my droopy, floppy, listless member longer than it took for me to finish the 1st time. She eventually figures it out and goes away.

Fast forward to to the new job. I get to travel to many different states and many different countries. In my time there I manage to sleep with 6 different girls in 6 different countries. They all were prostitutes and they were all paid for on my company credit card. My company didn't keep very good records as the copmpany was kind of new and small (1998 80employees) as a result, I often would just write my own receipts for bogus supplies needed or would just say they didn't give me one or I must have lost it.

I have since then left that company and got onto a much bigger one. I am not 300 lbs. nor do I have sores and blisters all over my face. I just don't know how to get with women. . I have decided I am a sort of a connoisseur on the subject. I have been to many different brothels all over the world. I have used escorts, massage parlors, and craigslist. I have decided that this is the way it will be for me. I will always get prostitutes. I guess they are around for guys like me

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

this man will goto jail one day. mark my words.
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 08-16-2007, 04:53 PM
Quagmyer Quagmyer is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Amsterdam
Posts: 873
Default Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions (The Sequel)

paying for sex on company credit cards lol thats awesome
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 08-16-2007, 04:57 PM
SkinnyLittleTwig SkinnyLittleTwig is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: i ain\'t got my taco
Posts: 2,470
Default Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions (The Sequel)

[ QUOTE ]
I remember sharing an aprtment with my sister. She had a boyfriend and they would f*ck like bunnies, every damn day I get home from work and they are going at it. Finally I stopped tuning them out and would crawl over to their door and listen to them while rubbing one out. Yeah, I have issues!

[/ QUOTE ]

thanks for doing this, sensei.
Reply With Quote
  #26  
Old 08-16-2007, 08:24 PM
BowToYourSensei BowToYourSensei is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: backpedaling (for the moment)
Posts: 7,261
Default Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions (The Sequel)

Cuz he didn't have enough fun the first time around...

[ QUOTE ]
Doing that first one kind of brought alot of memories....too many. I will tell any of the following if there is an interest..

-- had "sex" with my sister... sort of at 6 yrs old

-- brother might have gotten raped by babysitter and I almost did if it wasn't for a coin flip

-- terrorized a family one Halloween night

-- sold a BIG bag of weed to my friends older brother for $5 at 10 yrs old.

--robbed my uncle using mace as a weapon

--felt up cousins girlfriend while both slept side by side

-- got into a fist fight with identical twins and won

[/ QUOTE ]
Reply With Quote
  #27  
Old 08-16-2007, 08:45 PM
cwar cwar is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Cwar LLC
Posts: 2,491
Default Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions (The Sequel)

Bound to be another classic thread, well done so far Sensei.
Reply With Quote
  #28  
Old 08-16-2007, 09:00 PM
Dan87 Dan87 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 3,977
Default Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions (The Sequel)

got into a fist fight with identical twins and won

bahahahahah
Reply With Quote
  #29  
Old 08-16-2007, 09:02 PM
so sick bro so sick bro is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: killing cops
Posts: 994
Default Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions (The Sequel)

[ QUOTE ]
Cuz he didn't have enough fun the first time around...

[ QUOTE ]
Doing that first one kind of brought alot of memories....too many. I will tell any of the following if there is an interest..

-- had "sex" with my sister... sort of at 6 yrs old

-- brother might have gotten raped by babysitter and I almost did if it wasn't for a coin flip

-- terrorized a family one Halloween night

-- sold a BIG bag of weed to my friends older brother for $5 at 10 yrs old.

--robbed my uncle using mace as a weapon

--felt up cousins girlfriend while both slept side by side

-- got into a fist fight with identical twins and won

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

Reply With Quote
  #30  
Old 08-16-2007, 09:05 PM
The Velour Fog The Velour Fog is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: defeating pacifists
Posts: 1,982
Default Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions (The Sequel)

[ QUOTE ]
-- got into a fist fight with identical twins and won


[/ QUOTE ]

this story needs to be told
Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:44 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.