Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex

[traz]

When girls say they find oral more intimate, they don't necessarily mean "intimate"...most just mean oral is too embarrassing unless they are really comfortable. It's not really the same thing.

I think there's something deep in our core that says intercourse is more intimate. Something natural and instinctive. You're probably missing a chromosome or 2 if you think otherwise :P

[CrazyEyez]

Girls think oral is foreplay (ie precursor to the "real" thing) and/or they think you would let any chick blow you but would be more selective about who you do regular with. Therefore regular is the more intimate to them.

That might be a [censored] explanation but the point I'm attempting to make is: remember that intimacy for a woman has much less to do with physicality than for a guy. Not that the answer has to be different for a guy, just that your op seems to be coming at it from a strictly anatomical perspective.

p.s. alobar is right as usual and has rendered my post lame due to his being better at the english and the thinking.

[manupod]

Since breaking up with the GF a few months ago, I have trouble w/ regular sex with other people, but BJs are all good. In fact, I think I always preferred them and my friends thought I was crazy. I dunno.

[samsonite2100]

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When girls say they find oral more intimate, they don't necessarily mean "intimate"...most just mean oral is too embarrassing unless they are really comfortable. It's not really the same thing.

[/ QUOTE ]

It's exactly the same thing. They have to have a level of trust and comfort with you to not be embarrassed. That's intimacy.

[StevieG]

I like to have my cake and eat it, too.

Eating it is more intimate.

[tuq]

Interesting responses thus far.

I'm not trying to change anyone's mind and that would be a retarded endeavor anyway. I've just always thought that putting your face in someone else's crotch is a more intimite act than putting the jigsaw puzzle together.

Also, the eye contact thing is a pretty good point but I find it less applicable in non-missionary positions. I don't really like that anyway. Cowgirl, I guess there's some eye contact but it's from several feet away. Reverse cowgirl & doggystyle, the only eye contact would come courtesy of a mirror.

I do think there are a LOT of women who don't feel comfortable with a guy going down on them, it just seems weird, thus they prefer intercourse. I think this accounts for a non-trivial percentage of women preferring regular sex.

[kipin]

I would never want to be with a woman who doesn't feel comfortable with me going down town.

[BEP]

A girl's hesitance to let you go down on her has little to do with how "intimate" she feels the act is.

She either:

-Is insecure about her body (~75%)

-Or doesn't really enjoy oral sex (~25%)


Edit: and there's definite overlap between the two categories.

[tuq]

kipin,

Exactly!

As an aside: I am the oral sex MASTER! If I could have a resume on this it would be long. What's important is that I like it. I understand the whole gazing into the eyes and all that sweet stuff, but something about pleasing your partner - a couple dozen times - while receiving no obvious gratification yourself other than her receipt of said pleasure is hot to me.

[BEP]

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something about pleasing your partner - a couple dozen times - while receiving no obvious gratification yourself other than her receipt of said pleasure is hot to me.

[/ QUOTE ]


I foresee chains, handcuffs, and whips in your future.