things I've learned from Paycheck

[brazilio]

1. John Woo is a world class director
2. Ben Affleck is a world class actor
3. It's no mistake that Aaron Eckhardt was in both Black Dahlia and Paycheck.
4. If you find out your evil corporate boss is going to use your time travel invention to kill you and take the 92 million dollars your stocks are worth, it's better to forfeit your stock options and send yourself a big package full of [censored] gimmick crap.
5. If you do 4, the person in charge of giving you the package of [censored] you mailed to yourself is guaranteed to tell you that you use .50 worth of stamps too much so that you can get the last piece of s3kr3t info you need
6. If the FBI is questioning you, they'll question you in a rotating chair.
7. While they're questioning you in a rotating chair the camera will also rotate for extra awesome vomit effects.
8. You can remove memories with an electron microscope with a picture of your brain
9. If women know you'll never remember [censored] them, superhot Cold Case bitches will automatically start sucking your [censored].
10. When you lose your memories you'll recover your hand-eye coordination by hitting three poles with a rake handle really hard.
11. If you're blind you can fight some worthless ugly whore who likes to use three pronged daggers for weapons in a playground and still look like a [censored] gay-ass homosexual.
12. If you're fighting some dude, he's going to shoot the guy you just unarmed so you can face each other with guns drawn. Then he'll run away so the train in the tunnel you're in will kill you.
13. If you have a gun full of ammo, instead of shooting the gun you'll take the clip out and throw it on an electric rail so it'll blow up like a firecracker.
14. If Ben Affleck is your leading actor you'll make sure to have affleck look at himself in the mirror for at least 20 minutes of a 2 hour movie.
15. On a 4-lane street, the middle two lanes drive in one direction and the outer two lanes drive in the other direction and if you're a motorcycle you drive right in the middle of everything.
16. It's a trap
17. If you're Ben Affleck or Aaron Eckhardt, at the end of the movie you need to spend at least 30 seconds facing the other while both of you have your guns drawn talking about how you're going to kill each other
18. I AM THE FUTURE MIKE
19. You live your life happily ever after as a mexican moving dirt for your wife
20. After everybody thinks you're dead you'll keep your secret identity secret from the FBI by winning a 90 million dollar lottery.