Pregnant GF

[cking]

havent bothered with the replys yet but ill just go with what me and my ex both agreed on should she ever get pregnant (she was still practicing catholic). Have the child, give it up for adoption. It's hard on the girl emotionally and physically, but still not as much mentally as an abortion. Also i think no matter how you feel about abortions its better to not have one then have one if you can

[XxGodJrxX]

I am pretty sure the OP, who is in his early 20's, doesn't have a reliable income, and doesn't have health insurance, would not agree that raising kids is "not that hard anyway".

[tuq]

[ QUOTE ]
I am white, my GF is Filipino, and her child is half black.

[/ QUOTE ]
I'm not sure if this is a brag or a beat, but it's definitely variance. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[microbet]

[ QUOTE ]
I am pretty sure the OP, who is in his early 20's, doesn't have a reliable income, and doesn't have health insurance, would not agree that raising kids is "not that hard anyway".

[/ QUOTE ]

I've had children without a reliable income and have paid as little as $220/month for health insurance for my family. Really good health insurance might be $600/month. Reliable incomes also aren't that hard to come by.

[jackdaniels]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Forget about the mother for a minute and think about another kid coming into the world without a father. Running would be seriously cruel.

[/ QUOTE ]

"WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!?!"

Please, maybe his gf should think long and hard about the child and how hard it will be for the child to grow up with little or no support from the father. Even if support will be mandated by law, it will never be the kind of support he would provide voluntarily nor will even that be the kind of support he could provide if the child came 3-4 years down teh road - when they were BOTH READY FOR IT.

[/ QUOTE ]

You're arguing something completely different, which is for an abortion. I'm saying IF she does not have an abortion, running would be wrong. Do you agree or disagree with that? Also, how many parents were you raised by?

[/ QUOTE ]

I am NOT arguing something "completely different". You said we should forget about the mother and think of the childs welfare. You also said that the mother alone should have the power to decide if the fetus is to be aborted or brought to term. As I see it, it is the MOTHER who then has to think of the childs welfare, since she alone has the authority (as per your statements and societal norms) to decide if there will be a child or not.

My argument is that the game is RIGGED. If you are unfortunate enough to get involved with a girl who will tell you over the course of 1.5 years that she will abort any unwanted (read: without first discussing and deciding together with her partner) pregnancy and then actually gets pregnant and changes her mind to rule out abortion (ignoring any of your input), you should not be put in the position where you are forced to care for the child or the mother.

I have to say that while THEORETICALLY I am of the opinion that OP should bolt (assuming all info provided is accurate), I am not sure what I would do in this situation and very well may bow to the same societal norms I abhore and attack here so much. I wish I could say with certainty that I would leave, it would probably be the best thing for me if I was in OP's shoes (as I think it is the best thing for him), but I cannot and would have to face the situation if it ever came up.

I was raised by two parents, they are still together. Not sure why this is important, but you are a long term poster so I will give you the benefit of the doubt and hope there is a reason for this question.

[pauliewalnuts]

Step 1

Seriously though, I have a little experience with this, so I'll share my thoughts.

I'm young like you(just turned 24) and never planned on having kids until I was married and probably in my late twenties. I always figured that if by chance I got one of my gfs pregnant, that I'd want to have an abortion. Well, last June my current gf told me that she was pregnant. It was a bit shocking, but we werent extremely careful, so it wasnt a complete surprise. Turns out I never really felt that i didnt want to have the baby. Sure, I realized that the timing wasnt perfect. I was still in college, we werent married(and didnt have any plans to get married), and there were still things I wanted to do before settling down. But shw wanted to have the kid and the more I thought about it, having a kid would probably be great. I mean everybody tells you that having children is the best thing that couldve ever happened to them. They cant all be lying, right?

I graduated about a month before he was born, but before I was able to find real job, he came two months early. Luckily my gf has a good job with good insurance. I remember during the pregnancy that I never really had a sense of fatherhood. It didnt really seem real, since he wasnt actually around yet. The day he was born my gf had gone to the doctor with her mother because she hadnt felt him move in awhile. That morning I got a call from her mother saying that something was wrong and they were taking her over to the hospital. It suddenly began to feel very real and I remember thinking how much I really did want this baby as I was on my way to the hospital.

Being born two months early meant there were plenty of complications. He was on a ventilator for over a week and had to stay in the NICU for 2 months. He is 3 months old now and weighs 7lbs. The last month that he has been home with us has been great. I wouldnt change a thing. Some of the things I used to look forward to are now replaced by looking forward to playing pass with him in the backyard and teaching him to ride a bike.

So before you make a decision, try and put things in perspective. A baby will change your life, but after the fact I think you'd agree it was a change for the best.

[bobman0330]

No offense, but you're almost certainly going to end up white trash yourself, so you may as well do the right thing and take care of your kid. You dropped out of college (by far the best way to get out of a small town) to play poker (brilliant!) and are now sweating the money to move or take care of your family in a low cost-of-living town. Without knowing more, I'd guess that you're a marginal winner at low limits who will be squeezed out in the coming months by the toughening of the games. This is you about your gf's white trash friends:
[ QUOTE ]
All of them have lived in this [censored] town their entire lives. All of them have been pregnant at a young age. None of them graduated from college or have any type of career,

[/ QUOTE ]

Hey, that's also you! What a coincidence!

So, the way I see it your choices are:
A. Be responsible and take care of your child.
B. Run off to wherever and be a failure, and abandon your child.
C. (Least likely) Get your [censored] together, figure out what you want to do, move if necessary, get a job, and go to school (or whatever) at night.

[TheDudeAbides]

On the upside - if she does keep the baby you can look forward to this:

[Zurvan]

This thread is astonishing to me. I hope all you young guys reading this are paying attention. Women (all women) are far less willing to get abortions & put babies up for adoption than they say they are. Everything changes when they find out they're pregnant.

If you don't know this when you start having sex, you're not mature enough, and you don't understand your partner well enough. Pregnancy is an incredibly emotional thing for women, AND THEY CANNOT BE LOGICAL ABOUT IT.

If you get a girl pregnant, there's a very good chance you'll have a child.

OP: stop talking about how this will ruin your life & your dreams, etc. You're being a selfish douche. Forget the girl if you want, but focus on the baby. Maybe you have to give up being a pro poker player and get out in to the real world. Get a job, finish school, and do what you want with life. There's no reason you can't do all those things with a baby if you could do them without one.

Will it take longer? Maybe. Is it a situation of your own creation? Absolutely.

[HolyFimFed]

[ QUOTE ]
No offense, but you're almost certainly going to end up white trash yourself, so you may as well do the right thing and take care of your kid. You dropped out of college (by far the best way to get out of a small town) to play poker (brilliant!) and are now sweating the money to move or take care of your family in a low cost-of-living town. Without knowing more, I'd guess that you're a marginal winner at low limits who will be squeezed out in the coming months by the toughening of the games. This is you about your gf's white trash friends:
[ QUOTE ]
All of them have lived in this [censored] town their entire lives. All of them have been pregnant at a young age. None of them graduated from college or have any type of career,

[/ QUOTE ]

Hey, that's also you! What a coincidence!

So, the way I see it your choices are:
A. Be responsible and take care of your child.
B. Run off to wherever and be a failure, and abandon your child.
C. (Least likely) Get your [censored] together, figure out what you want to do, move if necessary, get a job, and go to school (or whatever) at night.

[/ QUOTE ]

So what you're saying is - i'm a failure and because I'm a failure I should have to raise a child?

I never claimed to be a saint, I am very flawed (to say the least). This is one of the many big reasons I SHOULD NOT be bringing a person into this world.

If I'm such a hypocritical douchebag, the last thing you should want me doing is raising another hypocritical douchebag to take my place when I die.


But hey, at least you got to tell me off right?

Seriously man, there's no need for the hate.