What will make you happy?

[Pete H]

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The process of acquiring power and wealth for example should make you happy.

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Why? That's more likely to make me unhappy.

What makes me happy are the things I do with the wealth I've acquired, not the wealth itself.

And I have zero interest in acquiring power. I don't want to make decisions for other people. I want to make decisions for myself.

[bmxicle]

I have been happy for almost my entire life.

In high school i was just kinda average, not that great with girls and certainly not incredibly popular. I hated school, i was mildly annoyed with my parents most of the time and had--well lets make that still have--no idea what i want(ed) for the future. Yet, through all these things i was still definately happy, i really liked life and i just took life for what is was and was happy with it.

Now a days i am taking a year off of college to play poker professionally as i have made several hundred thousand dollars playing poker. I travel the world and have an almost sureal life that i can hardly believe sometimes. Yet, i am still just as happy as i was when i was an unexceptional high school kid. I still take pleasure in alot of simple things like just walking somewhere in the morning, i still derive happiness from most of the same things. All the things that my money has bought me/allowed me to do don't bring me all that much more happiness--except for maybe traveling.

So basically i think i have a personality that is cut out for being happy. I don't ever stress about anything (which is what makes me good at poker) and i just feel happy most of the time. I think often people spend their entire lives searching for something to make them happy: the girl on the pedestal, an amazing job or alot of money to name a few. When really its better to be happy with what you have; regardless of what that might be.

[Jay.]

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I think its interesting that so many people think kids will make them happy.

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I think it's interesting that anyone thinks event X will make them happy long term. Kids. Marriage. Money. Of course all of these things will slightly increase your happiness at least short term, but when these events happen you'll still be yourself with your same mental habits, life habits, mental outlook.

Money/kids/girlfriend wont be any good to you if you still always desire more/don't reflect on what you have/have low self eestem/always think the worst/have habits of just sitting on the computer all day. You could get the girl of your dreams then after 2 months just cannabilize yourself by only seeing the worst of her, since you've spent your whole life being pessimistic.

No one should be looking at gf/kids as a means to an end.

[blitz]

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The process of acquiring power and wealth for example should make you happy.

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Why? That's more likely to make me unhappy.

What makes me happy are the things I do with the wealth I've acquired, not the wealth itself.

And I have zero interest in acquiring power. I don't want to make decisions for other people. I want to make decisions for myself.

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I tend to disagree. While I enjoy a good dinner or a better car, I dont get a feeling of enduring satisfaction from them. Being wealthy on the other hand gives me a feeling of security that wont go away once Ive gotten used to it.

Being able to make decisions for yourself shows quite a lot of power I think.

[Prime Time]

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I think its interesting that so many people think kids will make them happy. I sort of think this too and its probably the basic reason the human race is still around and reproducing so rapidly, but most studies seem to agree that the period between having kids, and the kids leaving the house, is actually the most unhappy time in most peoples lives.

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If this is true, my life will be 4-ever happy.
My daughter is 5; my wife and I have a blast with her.
We travel, go out to dinner, watch movies together (and I mean all three of us.) Etc.

When my wife and I discuss that some day she will leave us when she has to make her own family, this is what makes us unhappy. But we know this is reality, and I am sure grandchildren some day will bring us some newfound happiness.

I also like what Jurollo posted about nutrition and exercise. This is a very important part of my life, as well. Without health what good is anything else.

[BarryLyndon]

Being with friends who are non-judgmental of who I am or the decisions that I make in my life.

Being with family.

Doing things that I like simply because I like them.

Trying to keep healthy.

Realizing that as a human being, you're fallible and are trapped within skin/bones, so things will always be somewhat limited.

Finding a girlfriend who will understand me.

That will get me close / give me a chance at happiness. I think.

[Grunch]

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Divorce rate in Western Countries >50%. I guess all those perfect girls werent so perfect afterall.

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who says the women are the problem?

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I didn't mean to imply that. I just meant that some guy feeling unhappy now because he hasnt met Mrs. Perfect might be disappointed in the future when he finds out there is so such thing as a perfect marriage.

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Very true. Most people do a poor job at picking life partners. If the divorce rate in other countries is lower than in Western countries, I'd bet it's not because they are better at picking life partners. Not only will a pooor choice in life partner not make you happy, it could make you wish your life would end.

You can't 'fix' your happiness by getting married. In much the same way that you can't fix a broken marraige by having children. In both cases the brokenness is still there. It is now only masked or encumbered by additional complexities, and additional things by which you judge yourself to have failed.

I like to think that I'm lucky, because I did a good job in picking my life partner (she actually picked me, and that's part of the reason why I'm lucky -- but that's a story I won't tell here). She's perfect in every way for me, and oddly gets more perfect every day. I am happy -- and it's mostly because I'm next to her.

I'll also take a different slant on something that 42 said. Many people confuse comfort for happiness. This includes things like having plenty of money and nice things, or being looked up to by your peers. Those things don't create happiness. The lack of those things will cause grief -- for example, it's difficult for someone who is broke or unloved to be happy. But just because you are rich and loved doesn't mean you are happy.

Edit: I didn't mean to say there is no such thing as a perfect marraige. There is -- I have one. But nobody can understand what a perfect marraige is until they have one. Nobody can believe that there can even be one until they have one. When fish2p2 said "there is [no] such thing as a perfect marriage" he was wrong.

[HDPM]

Agree that you can't really get it until the kid is there. Best thing we've ever done, and it isn't close. I was worried if I could handle the trying moments, etc... No problem

[Big Poppa Smurf]

From my experiences so far, the people I know who are the least happy are the ones going through life wondering when they're going to be happy, or are always stressing about their future. If you talk to them it's always "I just have to do this to be happy" or "when will I find the perfect girl" or "my wedding needs to be perfect and if I don't find the perfect man I'll just die." All these people do is complain about how unhappy they are or how much their life sucks or what's missing in their life, and as a result they wind up always focusing on these things instead of having a good time or enjoying themselves.

For me, the trick to being happy is to just be happy. I don't spend time thinking about the things I need to be happy or what's missing in my life. I can eat everyday, I have a place to sleep at night, and in the end that's enough for me. Everyone is always looking for things they think they need or to be happy, but if you think like that you'll never be happy. First it's "I have to find the perfect girl" and then she's never perfect enough, so it's "Gotta get that promotion" but that doesn't make you happy either.

Happiness comes from what's inside and your attitude towards life, not what you have.

[Quanah Parker]

Most my friends are starting to breed(have kids) and I'm totally bemused by the whole thing. I think getting married/having kids serves to distract most people from even wondering if they're happy or not. I think a lot of folks are content simply having something to do. If a person doesn't seek a wife/kids then how is one to justify their existence? I think the thought of being one's own self and living each day for yourself scares most people a lot more than they would admit, or even realise.
Additionally, I think any couple having 3 or more kids is a much bigger burden on this planet than all the frigging yuppies driving hummers. China's one baby policy is a good step to longterm happiness for society. Then again, nobody voted me Gawd almighty, and what you do with your life is your business. If you're happy, sweet! If you're not, you've got no one to blame but yourself. The good news is the person who has the most control over your happiness is yourself.