Do kids benefit from a loveless marriage?

[bernie]

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I think I was only slightly better off when my parents were together. They say they stayed together for the kids.

I think its very possible to get divorced and not abandon your kids.

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it's possible but i think it would be extremely difficult to maintain a normal/strong relationship, especially from the child's perspective.

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I think that depends on the parents consistency with each other. But too often other factors of the parents sabatoge that.

b

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i see what you mean, but i'm really talking about the child being able to adjust to the fact that the parent is not in their life on a daily basis. spending every other weekend w/your the parent does not replicate a normal relationship and i could see how a child may find it difficult to remain close the parent.

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I agree. I also think that's more the norm than the parent staying involved with the kid.

'course, that can also involve the other parent not letting the other one have time with the kid for whatever reason. So it may not all be on the absent parents shoulders.

b

[Blarg]

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I think I was only slightly better off when my parents were together. They say they stayed together for the kids.

I think its very possible to get divorced and not abandon your kids.

[/ QUOTE ]

it's possible but i think it would be extremely difficult to maintain a normal/strong relationship, especially from the child's perspective.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think that depends on the parents consistency with each other. But too often other factors of the parents sabatoge that.

b

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i see what you mean, but i'm really talking about the child being able to adjust to the fact that the parent is not in their life on a daily basis. spending every other weekend w/your the parent does not replicate a normal relationship and i could see how a child may find it difficult to remain close the parent.

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A child finding it difficult to remain close to their parents is pretty common anyway. Lots of kids are more or less ignored, or ignore their parents anyway, or both. At least when you have your kid on visitation you're probably going to be paying attention to the fact that he's alive with more than just the occasional "yo" when you pass each other in the hall at night.

[Blarg]

Yeah but it could just as easily have been the other way around -- the biological parent who either originally was or became the nutball or difficult character.