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  #141  
Old 08-02-2007, 12:39 AM
TiK TiK is offline
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Default Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke

[ QUOTE ]

All I know is that the aardvark MADE A HOLE IN JUAN.

[/ QUOTE ]

The best part of the joke.
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  #142  
Old 08-02-2007, 12:46 AM
NHFunkii NHFunkii is offline
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Default Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke

two penguins are sitting on an ice floe
one says to the other, "hey johnny, it looks like you're wearing a tuxedo!"
the other says, "what makes you think I'm not?"
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  #143  
Old 08-02-2007, 01:18 AM
LocustHorde LocustHorde is offline
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Default Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke

What does a brick and a fat woman have in common?

Sooner or later they'll both be laid by a Mexican..
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  #144  
Old 08-02-2007, 01:26 AM
pauliewalnuts pauliewalnuts is offline
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Posts: 1,138
Default Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke

[ QUOTE ]
What do you call cheese that does not belong to you?






Nacho cheese.

[/ QUOTE ]

I just got done watching Half Nelson and was gonna post this joke. I laughed when I heard it.

My contribution(courtesy of Tony Soprano)

Rich guy and a poor guy meet for lunch after Christmas shopping. Poor guy asks the rich guy what he got his wife.

RG: A new car and a diamond ring.
PG: Whyd you get her the car too?
RG: Cause if she doesnt like the ring she can return it in the car. Whatd you get your wife?
PG: Pair of socks and a dildo.
RG: Whyd you get her the dildo?
PG: Cause if she doesnt like the socks she can go [censored] herself.
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  #145  
Old 08-02-2007, 02:23 AM
WindFallProfits WindFallProfits is offline
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Default Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke

a guy walks into a bar, the next guy ducks.
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  #146  
Old 08-02-2007, 02:52 AM
bisonbison bisonbison is offline
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Default Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke

BECAUSE IT'S THIS BIG
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  #147  
Old 08-02-2007, 03:22 AM
whiskeytown whiskeytown is offline
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Default Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke

a Townes Van Zandt joke

---------------------------

A Houston cop is working the beat, and he sees this guy going down the street in a convertible with three penguins in the back seat. He pulls the car over and says "Look here, you can't be driving these penguins around here on my beat - I want you to take these penguins to the zoo"

Guy says ok, and drives off - next day, cop working the same beat and sees the convertible again - same guy, same penguins in the back seat, but they're all wearing sunglasses.

This really torks the cop off, so he pulls the guy over and says "Look here, I thought I told you yesterday to take these penguins to the zoo"

The guy said "yes sir, we did that - today we're going to the beach."

[img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]
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  #148  
Old 08-02-2007, 03:39 AM
kkcountry kkcountry is offline
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Location: selling my location, pm 4 detailz
Posts: 3,599
Default Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke

[ QUOTE ]
Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar. After awhile, one guy looks at the other and says, "I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland."

The other guy responds proudly, "Yes, that I am!"

The first guy says, "So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be?"

The other guy answers, "I’m from Dublin, I am."

The first guy responds, "So am I!"

"Sure and begora. And what street did you live on in Dublin?"

The other guy says, "A lovely little area it was. I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town."

The first guy says, "Faith and it's a small world. So did I! So did I! And to what school would you have been going?"

The other guy answers, "Well now, I went to St. Mary's, of course."

The first guy gets really excited and says, "And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?"

The other guy answers, "Well, now, let's see. I graduated in 1964."

The first guy exclaims, "The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Mary's in 1964 my own self!"

About this time, Vicky walks into the bar, sits down and orders a beer.

Brian, the bartender, walks over to Vicky, shaking his head and mutters, "It's going to be a long night tonight."

Vicky asks, "Why do you say that, Brian?"

"The Murphy twins are drunk again."

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL awesome
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  #149  
Old 08-02-2007, 11:46 AM
Hey_Porter Hey_Porter is offline
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Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,148
Default Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke

[ QUOTE ]
So an American, a Japanese, a Cuban and a Mexican are sitting on a boat. The captain says the ship is too heavy and everyone must get rid of some luggages. The Japanese tosses out bunch of sushi and claim they have too much in his country. The boat stays afloat for a while but starts to sink again. The Cuban decides to dump all of its cigars and said "Well I don't need them I can always get them". The ship starts to sink again soon and while the Mexican was thinking what to get the American pushes him over the boat.

(obv only works if u live in SoCal)

[/ QUOTE ]

Here in the northwest we tell this joke, except it's Californians who get pushed out of the boat.
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  #150  
Old 08-02-2007, 11:59 AM
Hey_Porter Hey_Porter is offline
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Default Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke

Guy at a grocery store walks up to the check stand and starts emptying his cart. He's got three rolls of toilet paper, five microwave meals, and a sixer. Cashier goes, "You must be a bachelor." Guy responds "Ha, what was it that gave it away, the microwave meals?" Cashier responds, "no, it's just that you're f-ing ugly."
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