Putting your foot in it

[diddyeinstein]

This summer my older sister, her husband and I were sitting around talking about her their new baby and life in general. My sister turns the conversation to herself and makes some comment about being overweight and ugly. Completely not thinking, I look my sister dead in the eyes and say "You are not ugly". Of course, she takes this to be me admitting that she is in fact fat and starts bawling. I felt like [censored].

[luckyjimm]

On a school trip when I was 16, a guy in my crowd of friends, David, tells me he is thinking of dumping his long-term girlfriend and first love, Julie.

When I get back, I tell this to another friend, Mark.

At a party a few days later that I don't go to, Mark goes up to Julie and says "So, how does it feel now that David's dumped you?" She burst into tears. David hadn't told her yet, and was maybe having second thoughts. But this broke them up.

She phoned me at home screaming at me for repeating her boyfriend's confidence (is it my fault he wants to dump you?). I'm in my parent's front room, they are sitting watching TV while I try to get this crazy girl off the phone. My mother asks if I'm having "friendship problems".

It was very, very embarrassing.

Thirteen years later, David and Julie are happily married, while Mark and I haven't had a serious girlfriend between us.

[diebitter]

Recently a friend of a wife asked me what I'd go as to a fancy dress. I replied 'A catholic priest, cos then I could lust after the little boys and people would think I was in character'.

She didn't laugh.

EDIT: Thinking back, I think she might be a Catholic.

[entertainme]

When I was 18 I had a job in a factory, assembling wires into switches. Our work station was next to the office. Keep in mind this was a factory office. Low key. Two managers and sometimes a secretary to do bookwork. We were also conveniently located next to the door.

This was the kind of place where 90% of the people who worked there were young and everyone partied.

I'm at my station and some unknown guy walks in. If I remember right, there was no one in the office at the time. So I ask him, "Can I help you with something?"

He gives me a strange look and says no.

Turns out he was one of the owners. I hadn't seen him before because he worked out of a different location.

[youtalkfunny]

A young lady at work was showing off her new tattoo.

I turned to the nearest co-worker, as straight-laced conservative guy as you've ever met, and I say, "Anyone who gets a tattoo is an idiot."

He replied, "Have I ever shown you my tattoo?"

(Fortunately, he knew I was prone to hyperbole, so he let it slide. I still felt about six inches high.)

///

In high school, I got a small part in the senior class play.

A girl named Liz was cast in the second-biggest female part, but she really struggled the first couple of weeks of rehearsal. She just wasn't very good at this.

I swing by the auditorium on a day where I'm not needed at rehearsal. I just dropped by to see some friends. Some kids are on the stage rehearsing, but a different girl is playing Liz's part. Liz is sitting in the front row, with other kids who are waiting for their scenes to be rehearsed.

"Hey Liz, why is Karen up there doing your part?"

Yes, I was that dumb.

Liz ran from the theater, crying. Everyone who heard the "exchange" looked at me in horror.

I had no excuse. Still don't.

[Runkmud]

Every year, down here in sunny Orlando, Epcot has a food and wine festival. We get as many friends as we can gather and go on an all out drinking around the world fest, it's a total blast. Well, among my friends, I'm known as that crazy, super lazy poker guy. So far be it from me to dissapoint, every year I rent an electric wheel chair to ride around in as I get crazy drunk.

Out of the thirty or so of us that attended that day, I knew about 20 or so, a few were newcomers, who didn't know my gig. So I meet everybody and off I go to rent my electric wheelchair, a hoveround type of device. Immediately at expected, I'm mocked for being that lazy. Prepared for this, I tell them that we're going to be drinking all day, and within a few hours they'll be begging for rides. So I suggest that they all rent one and we can be a "gang".

Fast forward to a few hours later, of course by this time we're all faced, and one of the newcomers, a guy named Reggie, who I had just met that day, asked me if he could get a ride on my wheelchair. I told him to piss off, I had told him to get one, and he had refused, now he would have to suffer, because there was no way I was giving up mine. By the way, Reggie had burn marks all up and down both his arms, but I didn't ask, and he didn't tell, so no big deal.

So a few more hours pass and a friend of mine Bob approaches me and asks me what I think of Reggie. I reply, he's a solid guy, very funny, and cool all around. Bob then tells me that Reggie is a Desert Storm veteran and was in an IED explosion, where he lost both of his legs. Yes, both of his legs, he's got prostethesis from above the knees. You'd never be able to tell looking at him if you didn't know. [censored], I just turned down a legless vet for a ride in my wheelchair that I don't need. Ummmm yeah, that pretty much makes me the biggest prick on the planet.

[Marwan]

6th Grade, as a fun creative exercise thing we were asked to come up with an excuse to why we didn't do our homework.. so it comes around to me and I said I had to get a kidney removed.. so then the teacher starts to ball (not ball laughing, ball crying) and I'm like hmm wtf.. so then she says that her daughter had a kidney operation not long ago and I'm not sure but I think she sorta berated me saying that's not funny.. Anyways so I felt like [censored].. then she went up to me later and said it wasn't my fault I didn't know.. but I still felt like [censored] then I started to cry too.

Trying to think of a more recent one, I'm sure it happens all the time but can't think of anything specific right now.

[katyseagull]

[ QUOTE ]

among my friends, I'm known as that crazy, super lazy poker guy. So far be it from me to dissapoint, every year I rent an electric wheel chair to ride around in as I get crazy drunk.

[/ QUOTE ]

lolol! You sound just like my friend crazy John. This is something he would do.



[ QUOTE ]


So a few more hours pass and a friend of mine Bob approaches me and asks me what I think of Reggie. I reply, he's a solid guy, very funny, and cool all around. Bob then tells me that Reggie is a Desert Storm veteran and was in an IED explosion, where he lost both of his legs. Yes, both of his legs, he's got prostethesis from above the knees. You'd never be able to tell looking at him if you didn't know. [censored], I just turned down a legless vet for a ride in my wheelchair that I don't need. Ummmm yeah, that pretty much makes me the biggest prick on the planet.

[/ QUOTE ]

Geez Runkmud this story just kills me. It's just cringe-inducing. I think you win this thread! Your story makes the one I was going to tell about the cheese pizza seem really lame.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
Your story makes the one I was going to tell about the cheese pizza seem really lame.

[/ QUOTE ]

spill it, Peg.

[katyseagull]

Well it pales in comparison to what Runkmud did but ok this is all i could come up with.

Every now and then our boss holds a staff meeting where lunch is provided. Usually she delegates the food selection to one of her managers, or she goes around and takes a poll. But she has a budget for this type of thing so sometimes we get a really sweet lunch.

Anyway, the last lunch meeting we had I was pretty excited because I happened to be starving. I go into the conference room and get in line behind everyone else. When I finally get up to the counter where our lunch is all laid out before us I see that it is 5 extra large cheese pizzas. (Now you have to know me but I really love pizza, just not cheese pizza. I say put a topping on that damn pie! anything at all...an onion, a piece of green pepper...I really don't care).

So anyway there are about 4 of us standing at the counter eying our selection (if you can call it that) and I say "Geez, who's the Bozo who ordered 5 cheese pizzas for a staff meeting! I hate cheese pizza." only to get a frozen smile and the eyeball movement from my friend who was standing next to me. Apparently the bozo who ordered the pizza was standing up there with us. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]