Official May Thread: General [censored] Thread

[CSKJ]

My [censored] may has been just as yours. And partys nl400 should be pretty soft with all those bad lagtard regs. geeezzz hopefully we'll run hot in june.

[Irish Mafia]

Skier_5.... you are so bad. I really like your turn call here, you beat a lot of hands. Fish.

Full Tilt Poker Game #2464427373: Table King Mesa (6 max) - $5/$10 - No Limit Hold'em - 22:07:40 ET - 2007/05/19
Seat 1: drizas ($1,100)
Seat 2: skier_5 ($1,865)
Seat 3: ORIONF ($985)
Seat 4: JediPokerTrix ($1,000)
Seat 5: MstAA mAArtini ($2,383.50)
skier_5 posts the small blind of $5
ORIONF posts the big blind of $10
The button is in seat #1
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to JediPokerTrix [2h 2d]
JediPokerTrix raises to $35
MstAA mAArtini folds
drizas folds
skier_5 calls $30
ORIONF folds
*** FLOP *** [2s Kh 3h]
skier_5 checks
JediPokerTrix bets $55
skier_5 calls $55
*** TURN *** [2s Kh 3h] [As]
skier_5 checks
JediPokerTrix bets $155
skier_5 calls $155
*** RIVER *** [2s Kh 3h As] [9s]
skier_5 checks
JediPokerTrix bets $400
skier_5 raises to $1,620, and is all in
JediPokerTrix calls $355, and is all in
Uncalled bet of $865 returned to skier_5
*** SHOW DOWN ***
skier_5 shows [9c 9h] (three of a kind, Nines)
JediPokerTrix shows [2h 2d] (three of a kind, Twos)
skier_5 wins the pot ($2,007) with three of a kind, Nines
JediPokerTrix is sitting out
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $2,010 | Rake $3
Board: [2s Kh 3h As 9s]
Seat 1: drizas (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 2: skier_5 (small blind) showed [9c 9h] and won ($2,007) with three of a kind, Nines
Seat 3: ORIONF (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 4: JediPokerTrix showed [2h 2d] and lost with three of a kind, Twos
Seat 5: MstAA mAArtini didn't bet (folded)

[jalexand42]

[ QUOTE ]
i was just watching some [censored] wsop broadcast and those clowns were talking about "valuebet bluffs" lol

[/ QUOTE ]

Me too!

Full Tilt Poker - No Limit Hold'em Cash Game - $5/$10 Blinds - 6 Players - (LegoPoker HH Converter)

SB: $1,792.75
<u>BB: $1,258.00</u>
UTG: $992.00
MP: $1,695.00
CO: $3,945.25
<u>Hero (BTN): $980.00</u>

<font color="black">Preflop:</font> Hero is dealt K[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] 8[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] (6 Players)
3 folds, <font color="red">Hero raises to $35.00</font>, SB folds, BB calls $25.00

<font color="black">Flop:</font> ($75) 4[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] 2[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] K[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] (2 Players)
BB checks, <font color="red">Hero bets $61.00</font>, <font color="red">BB raises to $122.00</font>, Hero calls $61.00

<font color="black">Turn:</font> ($319) 5[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] (2 Players)
<font color="red">BB bets $250.00</font>, <font color="red">Hero raises all-in to $823.00</font>, BB calls $573.00

<font color="black">River:</font> ($1965) K[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] (2 Players - 1 All-In)

Pot Size: $1,965.00 ($3 Rake)

BB had 5[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] 7[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] (two pair, Kings and Fives) and LOST (-$980.00)
Hero had K[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] 8[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] (three of a kind, Kings) and WON (+$982.00)

[Cumulonimbus]

UR SOUL, ITS MINE

PokerStars No-Limit Hold'em, $4 BB (4 handed) Hand History Converter Tool from FlopTurnRiver.com (Format: 2+2 Forums)

UTG ($398)
Hero ($590.20)
SB ($62.35)
BB ($285)

Preflop: Hero is Button with A[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img], J[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img].
<font color="#CC3333">UTG raises to $12</font>, <font color="#CC3333">Hero raises to $46</font>, <font color="#666666">2 folds</font>, UTG calls $34.

Flop: ($98) 8[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img], T[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img], 4[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] <font color="#0000FF">(2 players)</font>
UTG checks, <font color="#CC3333">Hero bets $80</font>, <font color="#CC3333">UTG raises to $172</font>, Hero calls $92.

Turn: ($442) 8[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] <font color="#0000FF">(2 players)</font>
UTG checks, Hero checks.

River: ($442) 7[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] <font color="#0000FF">(2 players)</font>
UTG checks, <font color="#CC3333">Hero bets $372.2 (All-In)</font>, UTG folds.

Final Pot: $814.20

[jsnipes28]

[ QUOTE ]
Skier_5.... you are so bad. I really like your turn call here, you beat a lot of hands. Fish.

Full Tilt Poker Game #2464427373: Table King Mesa (6 max) - $5/$10 - No Limit Hold'em - 22:07:40 ET - 2007/05/19
Seat 1: drizas ($1,100)
Seat 2: skier_5 ($1,865)
Seat 3: ORIONF ($985)
Seat 4: JediPokerTrix ($1,000)
Seat 5: MstAA mAArtini ($2,383.50)
skier_5 posts the small blind of $5
ORIONF posts the big blind of $10
The button is in seat #1
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to JediPokerTrix [2h 2d]
JediPokerTrix raises to $35
MstAA mAArtini folds
drizas folds
skier_5 calls $30
ORIONF folds
*** FLOP *** [2s Kh 3h]
skier_5 checks
JediPokerTrix bets $55
skier_5 calls $55
*** TURN *** [2s Kh 3h] [As]
skier_5 checks
JediPokerTrix bets $155
skier_5 calls $155
*** RIVER *** [2s Kh 3h As] [9s]
skier_5 checks
JediPokerTrix bets $400
skier_5 raises to $1,620, and is all in
JediPokerTrix calls $355, and is all in
Uncalled bet of $865 returned to skier_5
*** SHOW DOWN ***
skier_5 shows [9c 9h] (three of a kind, Nines)
JediPokerTrix shows [2h 2d] (three of a kind, Twos)
skier_5 wins the pot ($2,007) with three of a kind, Nines
JediPokerTrix is sitting out
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $2,010 | Rake $3
Board: [2s Kh 3h As 9s]
Seat 1: drizas (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 2: skier_5 (small blind) showed [9c 9h] and won ($2,007) with three of a kind, Nines
Seat 3: ORIONF (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 4: JediPokerTrix showed [2h 2d] and lost with three of a kind, Twos
Seat 5: MstAA mAArtini didn't bet (folded)

[/ QUOTE ]

i was wondering how skier kept churning out these sick graphs

[Irish Mafia]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
The games are hard enough as is. I'm running worse than the devil himself... I honestly just don't know how much longer I can take this. This is about the 10th time in the last 2 days. This one i'm only 180+bb's deep - and we get it on the turn... what can I say - i'm having trouble breathing

Full Tilt Poker Game #2446308260: Table Sunking (6 max) - $5/$10 - No Limit Hold'em - 14:30:37 ET - 2007/05/17
Seat 1: TaiwanStyle ($1,279)
Seat 2: MadHatter48 ($1,107)
Seat 3: JediPokerTrix ($1,819)
Seat 4: gopheresque ($970)
Seat 5: PoopInToilet ($3,218.50)
Seat 6: Kinetica ($1,415.50)
MadHatter48 posts the small blind of $5
JediPokerTrix posts the big blind of $10
The button is in seat #1
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to JediPokerTrix [7h 7s]
gopheresque has 15 seconds left to act
gopheresque is sitting out
gopheresque has timed out
gopheresque folds
PoopInToilet raises to $35
Kinetica folds
TaiwanStyle folds
MadHatter48 folds
JediPokerTrix calls $25
*** FLOP *** [6c 7c 2h]
JediPokerTrix checks
PoopInToilet bets $55
JediPokerTrix raises to $240
PoopInToilet calls $185
*** TURN *** [6c 7c 2h] [8d]
JediPokerTrix bets $400
PoopInToilet raises to $2,943.50, and is all in
JediPokerTrix calls $1,144, and is all in
PoopInToilet shows [As Ac]
JediPokerTrix shows [7h 7s]
Uncalled bet of $1,399.50 returned to PoopInToilet
*** RIVER *** [6c 7c 2h 8d] [Ah]
PoopInToilet shows three of a kind, Aces
gopheresque has returned
JediPokerTrix shows three of a kind, Sevens
PoopInToilet wins the pot ($3,640) with three of a kind, Aces
JediPokerTrix is sitting out
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $3,643 | Rake $3
Board: [6c 7c 2h 8d Ah]
Seat 1: TaiwanStyle (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 2: MadHatter48 (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 3: JediPokerTrix (big blind) showed [7h 7s] and lost with three of a kind, Sevens
Seat 4: gopheresque didn't bet (folded)
Seat 5: PoopInToilet showed [As Ac] and won ($3,640) with three of a kind, Aces
Seat 6: Kinetica didn't bet (folded)

[/ QUOTE ]

Like I said - EVERY-f'ing-time it doesn't seem possible for them to hit that card they do!!! Not only is it a miracle card, but today there is the added bonus of me not filling up! i honestly NEVER thought it was possible to run this bad:

Full Tilt Poker Game #2453511537: Table La Madre (6 max) - $5/$10 - No Limit Hold'em - 13:59:57 ET - 2007/05/18
Seat 1: Enyaisrave ($1,368.50), is sitting out
Seat 2: Storkdelamork ($2,146.50)
Seat 3: tdogg99 ($1,446.75)
Seat 4: Ramonaa ($927.50)
Seat 5: uisageezer ($1,976)
Seat 6: JediPokerTrix ($1,586.50)
uisageezer posts the small blind of $5
JediPokerTrix posts the big blind of $10
The button is in seat #4
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to JediPokerTrix [Qs Qc]
Storkdelamork raises to $35
tdogg99 folds
Ramonaa calls $35
uisageezer calls $30
JediPokerTrix raises to $190
Storkdelamork calls $155
Ramonaa folds
uisageezer folds
*** FLOP *** [7s Th Qd]
JediPokerTrix has 15 seconds left to act
JediPokerTrix bets $375
Storkdelamork has 15 seconds left to act
Storkdelamork raises to $1,020
JediPokerTrix has 15 seconds left to act
JediPokerTrix raises to $1,396.50, and is all in
Storkdelamork calls $376.50
JediPokerTrix shows [Qs Qc]
Storkdelamork shows [Ad Ks]
*** TURN *** [7s Th Qd] [Js]
*** RIVER *** [7s Th Qd Js] [2h]
JediPokerTrix shows three of a kind, Queens
Storkdelamork shows a straight, Ace high
Storkdelamork wins the pot ($3,240) with a straight, Ace high
JediPokerTrix is sitting out
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $3,243 | Rake $3
Board: [7s Th Qd Js 2h]
Seat 1: Enyaisrave is sitting out
Seat 2: Storkdelamork showed [Ad Ks] and won ($3,240) with a straight, Ace high
Seat 3: tdogg99 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: Ramonaa (button) folded before the Flop
Seat 5: uisageezer (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 6: JediPokerTrix (big blind) showed [Qs Qc] and lost with three of a kind, Queens

[/ QUOTE ]

I told you I'm not lying. "Uisageezer" could be the worst regular i've ever seen in my life. but whats the difference he's making money - and i'm not! Let me get something straight from the 2+2 community... when they only have 2 outs w/ 2 cards to come - i'm supposed to win 90 out of 100 right? so why is it I seem to be losing in these situations at an alarming rate?

Full Tilt Poker Game #2464718091: Table Wild Wave (6 max) - $5/$10 - No Limit Hold'em - 22:46:48 ET - 2007/05/19
Seat 1: uisageezer ($1,451)
Seat 2: InMemoriam ($1,000)
Seat 3: Split em Up ($358)
Seat 4: MstAA mAArtini ($1,838)
Seat 5: gtrain15 ($1,773)
Seat 6: JediPokerTrix ($1,333)
JediPokerTrix posts the small blind of $5
uisageezer posts the big blind of $10
The button is in seat #5
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to JediPokerTrix [Tc Ts]
InMemoriam folds
Split em Up folds
MstAA mAArtini raises to $35
gtrain15 folds
JediPokerTrix has 15 seconds left to act
JediPokerTrix raises to $135
uisageezer calls $125
MstAA mAArtini calls $100
*** FLOP *** [3s 6s Td]
JediPokerTrix bets $280
uisageezer raises to $1,316, and is all in
MstAA mAArtini folds
JediPokerTrix calls $918, and is all in
uisageezer shows [As Ah]
JediPokerTrix shows [Tc Ts]
Uncalled bet of $118 returned to uisageezer
*** TURN *** [3s 6s Td] [Ad]
*** RIVER *** [3s 6s Td Ad] [Jd]
uisageezer shows three of a kind, Aces
JediPokerTrix shows three of a kind, Tens
uisageezer wins the pot ($2,798) with three of a kind, Aces
JediPokerTrix is sitting out
---------

Full Tilt Poker Game #2464272539: Table Burdell (6 max) - $5/$10 - No Limit Hold'em - 21:46:58 ET - 2007/05/19

Seat 1: easymoney50 ($268.85)

Seat 2: JediPokerTrix ($2,680.75)

Seat 3: uisageezer ($1,127)

Seat 4: CoachTooz ($1,841)

Seat 5: Rana699 ($0), is sitting out

Seat 6: MstAA mAArtini ($1,917)

JediPokerTrix posts the small blind of $5

uisageezer posts the big blind of $10

The button is in seat #1

*** HOLE CARDS ***

Dealt to JediPokerTrix [Kh Ks]

CoachTooz folds

Rana699 stands up

MstAA mAArtini raises to $35

easymoney50 folds

JediPokerTrix has 15 seconds left to act

JediPokerTrix raises to $135

uisageezer calls $125

MstAA mAArtini calls $100

*** FLOP *** [3s 5s Jd]

JediPokerTrix bets $300

uisageezer raises to $992, and is all in

MstAA mAArtini folds

JediPokerTrix calls $692

uisageezer shows [Qc As]

JediPokerTrix shows [Kh Ks]

*** TURN *** [3s 5s Jd] [Th]

*** RIVER *** [3s 5s Jd Th] [Ad]

uisageezer shows a pair of Aces

JediPokerTrix shows a pair of Kings

uisageezer wins the pot ($2,386) with a pair of Aces

[Eagles]

I don't think skier's turn call with 99 is too bad.

[Irish Mafia]

[ QUOTE ]
I don't think skier's turn call with 99 is too bad.

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL. Thats one of the funnier things i've seen in print.

[aislephive]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I don't think skier's turn call with 99 is too bad.

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL. Thats one of the funnier things i've seen in print.

[/ QUOTE ]

You're probably betting that turn with anything, except I'm sure you'd check Kx/QQ or anything else marginal, so it's not really that bad of a call, but it's still -EV, just not as terrible as you make it out to be.

[skier_5]

[ QUOTE ]
Skier_5.... you are so bad. I really like your turn call here, you beat a lot of hands. Fish.

Full Tilt Poker Game #2464427373: Table King Mesa (6 max) - $5/$10 - No Limit Hold'em - 22:07:40 ET - 2007/05/19
Seat 1: drizas ($1,100)
Seat 2: skier_5 ($1,865)
Seat 3: ORIONF ($985)
Seat 4: JediPokerTrix ($1,000)
Seat 5: MstAA mAArtini ($2,383.50)
skier_5 posts the small blind of $5
ORIONF posts the big blind of $10
The button is in seat #1
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to JediPokerTrix [2h 2d]
JediPokerTrix raises to $35
MstAA mAArtini folds
drizas folds
skier_5 calls $30
ORIONF folds
*** FLOP *** [2s Kh 3h]
skier_5 checks
JediPokerTrix bets $55
skier_5 calls $55
*** TURN *** [2s Kh 3h] [As]
skier_5 checks
JediPokerTrix bets $155
skier_5 calls $155
*** RIVER *** [2s Kh 3h As] [9s]
skier_5 checks
JediPokerTrix bets $400
skier_5 raises to $1,620, and is all in
JediPokerTrix calls $355, and is all in
Uncalled bet of $865 returned to skier_5
*** SHOW DOWN ***
skier_5 shows [9c 9h] (three of a kind, Nines)
JediPokerTrix shows [2h 2d] (three of a kind, Twos)
skier_5 wins the pot ($2,007) with three of a kind, Nines
JediPokerTrix is sitting out
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $2,010 | Rake $3
Board: [2s Kh 3h As 9s]
Seat 1: drizas (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 2: skier_5 (small blind) showed [9c 9h] and won ($2,007) with three of a kind, Nines
Seat 3: ORIONF (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 4: JediPokerTrix showed [2h 2d] and lost with three of a kind, Twos
Seat 5: MstAA mAArtini didn't bet (folded)

[/ QUOTE ]

you're aggressive as [censored] and have been two barreling me all day. what better card to 2 barrel than an ace.