Coping with ADD

[KungFuManchu]

I have ADD, and when it comes to something very intresting for me, I have hyper focus. There are things that stimulate me and seem to massage my mind. ITs like when you put Die Hard on or see it on tv, you just have to stop and watch.

happens with video games, poker, sometimes really good books (and i love to read, it just gets reallz really hard to do sometimes). I never had cable tv for a long time because even when commercials are on, I will just sit and watch. Ive had to really work on being able to pull myself away or force myself to do things that need to be done.

As for jobs, they are crazy hard for me, even the simple ones. because they just burn me out because most are unintresting past the second week, if at all. I also think its the reason I play mostlz shorthanded and HU poker, or I have to play a ton of tables, I always need stimulation and I love playing as much as possible.

[Daddy Warbucks]

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One interesting thing, that I've never really realized, is that in some cases ADD may cause depression like symptoms / feeling.

Basically you're not completely disabled and sitting at home alone not interacting with other people, you don't lose sleep over it, etc.... so it's not really depression. But you do feel like crap / sad, over and over and over again.

It's an example of hyperfocusing. Basically your brain hyperfocuses on the negative. So, everytime your brain wanders.... and it does so often, since you have ADD.... your brain searches for something to focus in on, and it hyperfocuses on the negative.

So, tiny mistakes will feel like huge deals, little things will make you super sad, you'll feel like a complete fraud if you screw up one small thing, etc.... Basically you organize around a bad mood and don't let go. Once you realize you're doing this, you can try to offer alternatives to your brain and ignore the negative focusin... go for a run, think of something positive, etc.... pretty sure this wouldn't work for the clynically depressed, but it def. helps me...

.... and of course stimulants help you while anti-depressants (dopamine reuptake inhibitors, etc.) will NOT help you.


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HOLY FREAKING CRAP KEI!

I don't think i've ever read anything EVER that hit home as hard with me as whats quoted above. Especially in the last 2 weeks, i've met an amazing girl who i really like. Things have been going really well, i know this on a cerebral level, and yet i've never felt this bad in all my life. I've been focused entirely on whats not happening, on what i'm not doing, on minor mistakes i've made. I've been off my food, my mood has been swingy, i'm frustrated at work. And yet exactly like you said, once i go work out, or put in a session, my mood will instantly brighten. This post might actually have changed my life.

Also, fwiw, i scored almost perfect on the checklist [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[RiDiK]

yeah, this post is kind of eye opening. i always thought ADD was an excuse for lazy, badly misbehaved kids. so many things in this thread are so familiar to me. i also got 18 out of 20 on that checklist w/ the other 2 being close.

some things i haven't seen mentioned is that the only books i've completely read, i read in a day or 2 (depending on length). even if i generally enjoyed a lecture i would be chronically late and fill up my margins w/ completely random doodles, compulsively pick my hang nails, or space out and go into endless tangents about nothing.

the only way i could study or write a paper is if i went to the library and switched seats or even libraries after an hour or so of work. i just thought i was weird.

something that also seemed to really help was drinking lots of grean tea.

[keikiwai]

Here's something that will probably seem ridiculous to people who do not have ADD, but will be very helpfull to people who do:

One thing I have found is that knowing you have ADD is very helpfull in dealing with the issues it causes.

This is because the treatment for problems with similar symptoms as ADD is not the same as the treatment of ADD.

I can illustrate with a personal example.

I have always had a huge problem keeping my room clean.

I always assumed it was because I was lazy. The cure for lazyness is motivation. So, I would decide that I would give myself a reward after succesfully cleaning my room. Let's say, I'd drink a beer after cleaning my room. The result was that I would never get to drink my beer. I could promise myself a brand new watch. It didn't matter. Usually I wouldn't start to clean my room. Sometimes I'd start, and get side tracked, or not know what to clean next, or whatever. End result: extreme frustration and the discomfort of a messy room.

Now that I understand the way my brain works a little better, I try an approach that's matched to the real problem of ADD, not the imagined problem of laziness.

People with ADD need a lot of structure and the right amount of stimulation to accomplish certain tasks, especially boring ones.

1) Now I break the problem down into small bits. I decide ahead of time I'll start with my desk and work clockwise, finishing each small part of the room before moving on.

Think about how ridiculous this is if you don't know you have ADD... I can freaking do graduate level math, how the [censored] would I realize that I need to formulate a well developed plan to accomplish something that my peers can do with seeming ease on the spur of the moment? But I need to make a plan, otherwise it won't get done.

2) I make sure I am properly stimulated. This means listening to tech and news podcasts while cleaning, doing data entry, etc.

Again this is counter-intuitive, and not something I would have tried before understanding what was going on. I always thought that I just need to buckle down and concentrate. That means REMOVING all extra stimuli. But the way many people's brains with ADD work is if you're doing routine things, you can often do them better if you multi task. This explains the seemingly rude habit certain people with ADD have. When you start talking to them, they begin to type, or fidget, or they get up out of their chairs and walk around. This is because if they don't, they'll simply zone out and not hear a word you're saying. But if they type, or fidget, or pace, they can pay attention.

This may seem like a trivial example. But my biggest frustrations in life have been with the trivial things. I can do complicated math, but I have trouble with standard addition. I can write research papers, but I can't pay my bills on time. I can deliver clear scientific presentations, but I can't keep up with the thread of conversation in a bar with my friends.

Learning about the real reason I have trouble with these things is helping me finally deal with these issues. The problem is that it is easy to fall back into old habits.

This brings up a second general point. It often helps to have a "coach" if you have ADD. Someone you can talk to about the problems you're having who can listen and give guidance. This post is getting rather long, so I'm not going to get into it here. But suffice it to say that it often helps if the person is slightly removed from you. So the gf or bf who you are already driving up the [censored] wall is probably not a good person to choose as a coach. Your friend who lives on the other side of the country may be a much better choice.

[EvanJC]

thanks for your posts in this thread keikiwai, very helpful.

[TheFaucet]

I smoke lots of pot to cope with my ADD.

[Mempho]

I know this is a late bump, but I just found I had ADD after running a search and I have found this thread very helpful.

[Mempho]

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I'm sorry you don't want to educate yourself on the topic. However, the chemical imbalance is a SYMPTOM of the underlying problem, not the source of the problem.

You can treat the chemical imbalance symptom with drugs, but the drugs will not cure you.

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Okay, I'll bite. What is the source of the problem? And, what's the cure?

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[carnivalhobo]

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I know this is a late bump, but I just found I had ADD after running a search and I have found this thread very helpful.

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how did you find out, and where should i start if i think i have it

[mattak]

Two years ago I was doing some pre-marriage councilling and my (soon to be) wife went down the list of things that piss her off about me. The councilor then asked me what I felt my biggest problems were. He recommended a book for me (Driven to Distraction) without really making any judgments or diagnosis. The book basically changed my life. It is amazing to me to look back on my life and see how many problems and relationships have been colored by ADD. Things like getting in trouble in grade school, or making the women in my life feel ignored and alienated. I have since been "officially" diagnosed and have begun to try to come up with effective strategies to deal with ADD.

Here are some point form (for my ADD brethren) thoughts and experiences



-lack of social grace
i have always had problems in group situations because i quickly become distracted with the conversation and start reading, watching tv or doing anything other than paying attention to the person who is talking to me. i will also try to cut short conversations or "get to the point" with people that i find long winded. this has made some people feel like i think that they are boring or uninteresting. i have acknowledged that my behavior is socially unacceptable and have begun to "fake it". i make a game out of acting like i am interested. i literally have a dialog in my head during a conversation that goes on about pretending to be normal and that i am fooling everyone. kinda weird but it has worked for me so far. the biggest thing though was recognizing that i am (was) the common denominator in my awkward social interactions and that i had to take steps to correct it

-addiction problems
i have always been consumed by some passion at one time or another. i have become focused on to the point of obsession (among other things) chess, football, video games, guitar, d&d, poker, history, theology, martial arts, etc. i also have always had a predisposition to binge drinking (i was never a have a beer at home guy, i was a drink 14 tequila shots at the bar and pass out by 11pm guy), taking recreational drugs (the first time i tried cocaine was like peanut butter and chocolate coming together). binge drinking got old for me (or i got old for it) and i have somehow avoided more serious problems with narcotics but i still get consumed by hobbies and pass times. strangely enough, pets (2 cats and a dog) have been my saving grace here by breaking up my time and giving me some responsibilities that i just cannot put off (or they will crap on the floor).

-procrastination/inability to prioritize tasks
i have very little initiative and when i am working on something i can be distracted easily by my surroundings. so far the best thing i have come up with is routine. i find it so very hard to impose this on myself, so i ask for help from my wife. i often have large amounts of paperwork to do in my job. if i find myself in a place where i am unable to focus, i will often do something else for a while instead of forcing it. i understand that medication (adderall/ ritalin) are supposed to be very good for helping with this. i have yet to explore that route. still a daily struggle with me

-inability to keep living space clean
keikiwai made some good points earlier on this. so far, best thing for me has been to make lists and try to establish a routine. i am very lucky that i have an understanding wife who takes the lead in this area or i would still be living in squalor. we have established a routine where she will give me a task and i can complete it. she wishes i were more proactive in this area but i try very hard to make up for it in other areas (i do all the cooking and landscaping)


I feel that at least now I can put a label on the problem's I have and try to find strategies to cope. Before I always just felt lazy, forgetful or mean. I am kind of an old school guy and I hate it when people blame their problems on something and don't accept responsibility for their actions. I didn't want a crutch or anything, so accepting this "condition" was tough for me.