Are relationships and marriage all the rage?

[daveT]

There's philosophy, and then theirs applied philosophy.

Keep it up guys, my favorite thread in a while

X, I like your new avatar, hated your old one.

[The X-Factor]

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X, I like your new avatar, hated your old one.

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Thanks bro. I am a huge wrestling fan lol.

The past few days I have been back and forth on this thing because during this stage right now that I am in its weird in a way because I feel myself pulling back some because I am afraid to get too close right now. I have kinda put my guard back up for some reason but I am just trying to take it slowly. Weird feeling I am having right now.

[katyseagull]

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The past few days I have been back and forth on this thing because during this stage right now that I am in its weird in a way because I feel myself pulling back some because I am afraid to get too close right now. I have kinda put my guard back up for some reason but I am just trying to take it slowly. Weird feeling I am having right now.

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I think this is good thing. Nothing worse than getting overly eager and not having it reciprocated. Besides, a lot of girls actually prefer a guy who doesn't rush the relationship.

[The X-Factor]

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The past few days I have been back and forth on this thing because during this stage right now that I am in its weird in a way because I feel myself pulling back some because I am afraid to get too close right now. I have kinda put my guard back up for some reason but I am just trying to take it slowly. Weird feeling I am having right now.

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I think this is good thing. Nothing worse than getting overly eager and not having it reciprocated. Besides, a lot of girls actually prefer a guy who doesn't rush the relationship.

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My #1 problem is I over think everything. So just imagine what is going through my head right now. I am going to hit the gym in a few and try and work this out. I really dig her though and I know she does me too is what is weird about this damn thing.

[katyseagull]

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My question (a bit derailed, I know, and apologies to OP for somewhat hijakking thread) is:
1) how soon is too soon to "like-like" someone?
2) how much of one's self is acceptable to reveal at a time?
3) when does one decide that this relationship is going to continue or end?

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1) 3 dates is too soon.
2) Great question. I would like to know what the guys say. I think that girls reveal a lot more personal stuff than guys do early on. Stuff about families, previous relationships. I used to think it was no big deal but come to find out from these forums that some men don't necessarily want that kind of info.
3) It ends when the silence becomes unbearable and one of the parties is no longer having fun.

[katyseagull]

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My #1 problem is I over think everything. So just imagine what is going through my head right now. I am going to hit the gym in a few and try and work this out. I really dig her though and I know she does me too is what is weird about this damn thing.

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That's cool! You like her. Maybe you're over thinking it because you feel somehow if you think it through you can actually steer the relationship? Don't know, just guessing here. Anyway, my philosophy is that these things are out of our control. Either there is chemistry or there isn't. You're best off just relaxing, and enjoying it while it lasts. A relaxed guy is pretty attractive to most women.

[Blarg]

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The past few days I have been back and forth on this thing because during this stage right now that I am in its weird in a way because I feel myself pulling back some because I am afraid to get too close right now. I have kinda put my guard back up for some reason but I am just trying to take it slowly. Weird feeling I am having right now.

[/ QUOTE ]


I think this is good thing. Nothing worse than getting overly eager and not having it reciprocated. Besides, a lot of girls actually prefer a guy who doesn't rush the relationship.

[/ QUOTE ]

My #1 problem is I over think everything. So just imagine what is going through my head right now. I am going to hit the gym in a few and try and work this out. I really dig her though and I know she does me too is what is weird about this damn thing.

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She likes you? Uh oh, that's a sure sign that in her mind she has already written you off and is getting ready to dump you. Quick, dump her first!

j/k i keed, i keed!

[tarheeljks]

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My take on what he is saying is something like, everything has its own natural shape and potential, and you can't force it. So why not just be more natural, stay awake to what's going on, and see how much you like it, whether or not it fits some kind of ultimate dream scenario, then go from there?

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yeah, that's what i was saying.


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I agree, and further say, why make everybody potentially uncomfortable and out of sorts. You know, like when people want to know if someone has lifetime potential, so they'll resolve to stick like glue before they even know the person at all. Or if they think their date or whatever doesn't have everything you could ever possibly want in a person(even if you yourself are unremarkable), then they have nothing to offer and you should high tail it immediately or feel terribly disappointed or betrayed. Doing this kind of thing can get out of hand real easy.

I think there's a lot of happiness to be had in the world, but you can't always choose exactly what kind it's going to be exactly when, how much, and how long. If you dismiss every kind of happiness that comes your way because you haven't yet found the perfect happiness in life that matches the ideals you carry around in your head, you may wind up being unhappy for a long, long time or wind up a lot older, less attractive and energetic, and still unhappy and without even many happy memories.


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i agree

[revots33]

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For the married people out there, does the thought of being with only one person the rest of your life freak you out or is it comforting... or do you just never think about it because you're too busy? The day to day aspects of marriage seem really really really hard. What do you do if you get bored with your mate?

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Just my 2 cents but been married for a little over 5 years now and I don't find it hard at all. I've got a beautiful wife (way too good-looking for me by any objective measurement), she makes me laugh, we have fun, we like to do a lot of the same things, and she lets me do my own thing (like poker which she has no interest in) when I want, and I let her do her own thing when she wants.

What's so hard?

And I disagree with your last sentence about "getting bored" with the other person. This is probably why so many people divorce, and I think it's a silly reason. Love is not about keeping the other person excited or entertained. If a person can't deal with the fact that they'll never have that euphoric feeling of lust/infatuation that comes in the beginning of a relationship again - they probably shouldn't get married. But they are missing out on far more IMO.

[revots33]

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I have watched one by one as my friends wives end their careers once they had a child. It was of their own choosing, and for a couple of them even after it had been settled that they would continue to work and certain financial burdens had been assumed. It was kind of neat, really to watch that instinct kick in. None of them plan on returning to work.

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The feminist credo of "you can have it all" was a scam. Women don't want to have it all (most don't, anyway). They want to stay home with their kids. Partly because of maternal reasons - and partly because getting up and going to work every day sucks. Yes raising kids is hard, but raising kids + the responsibilities/stresses of another job is harder.

Every one of my friend's wives quit working as soon as they had their first child. In talking to them, most of them sounded almost as happy about the prospect of not having to work anymore as they were about becoming parents. Their husbands all make big bucks and I'm doubtful any of them will ever work another day in their lives, even once their kids are grown.