seriously tho, ftp can eat a piping hot bowl of dicks

[swope]

so i deposit on ftp for the first time in months and immediately win a 5$ HORSE tourn. +212$. the next night i win the nightly 24$+2 HORSE. +1560$.

over the course of the next two weeks, i decide to play within my bankroll (for the first time in my life) and grind up to about 1900$, cashing in about 30% of the tourns i play, running average at limit tables, etc.

then, 5 days ago, i request a cashout to cover some bills.

literally the next hand after i hit the submit button, i get knocked out of a tourn in which i was a top ten chipstack after someone rivers a straight flush against my flopped set.

i hit the HU tables. the NEXT HAND i get felted with TPTK against.. a rivered straight flush.

since that cashout request, i have lost 1400$. i estimate i have lost approx 85% of my hands at showdown. i wont bore anyone with the details, youve heard them all before.

variance: 5 days later, they still havent processed my cashout request.

im disgusted and enraged and on six different shades of life tilt right now.

i sincerely wish everyone at ftp had one singular throat, so i could wrap my hands around it.