I can’t stop playing poker

[pepitannikita]

Poker Clif~~

Thank you for your post! While I have lacked the discipline of total attention to details that you describe, I nevertheless had a similar approach to learning/playing poker. Although my case was different, I learned in fake money games online and then played my first real money games in $3-6 limit games where I stayed for the next 2,000 hours.

I did grind out LONG hours at the tables. It was tough to beat the game because there was a $3 button drop plus a $1 jackpot drop taken out of every hand. I was restricted due to lack of transportation to a need to take the bus so that meant at times that I would, of necessity (dire financial circumstances which precluded ability to take taxis), pull an all-nighter after already having played a session, meaning I had missed the last bus at 10 p.m. so I couldn't leave until after 6 a.m. on weekdays or 9 a.m. on weekends.

So while I had sat down for the first time a complete poker retardo (and oh my, how I could regale you with stories of the things I did and thought! LOL!), I nevertheless always believed that I could learn this game and would beat it to the extent of regularly supplementing my meager disability income.

I am academically inclined, open to learning without that ego involvement thing that seems so glaring in so many newbie players (being 50, female and fat might helo in that regard)--LOL.

I'm just sort of hitting some points to say that I was serious about the game. I very much LIKED and ENJOYED the game and it was a lot of FUN also-- the learning process itself was fun. But it was also WORK and I approached it that way, as a business, keeping very detailed records, including how much I had to spend for bus fare, what I tipped the dealers-- these were "expenses" that I would not have normally have had were I NOT playing poker and I needed to account for them. I deducted those amounts from my bottom line poker profit.

So when I would hear folks mocking the "no fold 'em hold 'em" $3-6 limit games (which were the lowest games the casino spread) and comment upon the players in them as being people who didn't care about the money because it was such small amounts, it hurt me. I cared very MUCH about the money and the money MATTERED to me and made a difference in my life. I found out that even with the variance fluctuations that I consistently made a certain hourly rate average that I could almost count on and so that is why I began logging in 40-60 hours a week then. Heck, I had always worked overtime when I was in management so extra hours wasn't a foreign concept. I just knew that the more hours I played poker, the more income I would produce and my records provided evidence of this.

Now, I've highjacked this thread away from the OP long enough so time to get it back on track! LOL.

Just wanted to concur with what you had been saying in your excellent post. Not all of us who play at low limits are in the same category. There is nothing wrong with those who are primarily social players, enjoying the game, having fun, blowing money. Indeed, I make money sitting at their tables and have fun with them while I do so!

Those who are more serious-minded and who play long hours are not necessarily addicts, either.

I guess everyone has a story to tell and it's interesting "meeting" folks here on 2+2 and hearing some of theirs.

[Poker Clif]

[ QUOTE ]
Poker Clif~~

Thank you for your post! While I have lacked the discipline of total attention to details that you describe, I nevertheless had a similar approach to learning/playing poker. Although my case was different, I learned in fake money games online and then played my first real money games in $3-6 limit games where I stayed for the next 2,000 hours.

I did grind out LONG hours at the tables. It was tough to beat the game because there was a $3 button drop plus a $1 jackpot drop taken out of every hand. I was restricted due to lack of transportation to a need to take the bus so that meant at times that I would, of necessity (dire financial circumstances which precluded ability to take taxis), pull an all-nighter after already having played a session, meaning I had missed the last bus at 10 p.m. so I couldn't leave until after 6 a.m. on weekdays or 9 a.m. on weekends.

So while I had sat down for the first time a complete poker retardo (and oh my, how I could regale you with stories of the things I did and thought! LOL!), I nevertheless always believed that I could learn this game and would beat it to the extent of regularly supplementing my meager disability income.

I am academically inclined, open to learning without that ego involvement thing that seems so glaring in so many newbie players (being 50, female and fat might helo in that regard)--LOL.

I'm just sort of hitting some points to say that I was serious about the game. I very much LIKED and ENJOYED the game and it was a lot of FUN also-- the learning process itself was fun. But it was also WORK and I approached it that way, as a business, keeping very detailed records, including how much I had to spend for bus fare, what I tipped the dealers-- these were "expenses" that I would not have normally have had were I NOT playing poker and I needed to account for them. I deducted those amounts from my bottom line poker profit.

So when I would hear folks mocking the "no fold 'em hold 'em" $3-6 limit games (which were the lowest games the casino spread) and comment upon the players in them as being people who didn't care about the money because it was such small amounts, it hurt me. I cared very MUCH about the money and the money MATTERED to me and made a difference in my life. I found out that even with the variance fluctuations that I consistently made a certain hourly rate average that I could almost count on and so that is why I began logging in 40-60 hours a week then. Heck, I had always worked overtime when I was in management so extra hours wasn't a foreign concept. I just knew that the more hours I played poker, the more income I would produce and my records provided evidence of this.

Now, I've highjacked this thread away from the OP long enough so time to get it back on track! LOL.

Just wanted to concur with what you had been saying in your excellent post. Not all of us who play at low limits are in the same category. There is nothing wrong with those who are primarily social players, enjoying the game, having fun, blowing money. Indeed, I make money sitting at their tables and have fun with them while I do so!

Those who are more serious-minded and who play long hours are not necessarily addicts, either.

I guess everyone has a story to tell and it's interesting "meeting" folks here on 2+2 and hearing some of theirs.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thank you for your kind comments. Our situations are more alike than you could even imagine.

I am 53. I have Attention Deficit Disorder that wasn't diagnosed until I was 40 years old. I was incredibly disorganized, had great difficulty staying on task, ane even wound up in jail more than once because I lost or forgot to pay minor traffic tickets, and I paid thousands of dollars in bail, fines, fees, court cost, etc. I'm still dealing with the reprecussions of ADD-personal, financial, and academic.

My life was out of control for a long time, but poker is something that I can control. Poker doesn't care about my past, I don't have to hope that poker will hire me, and poker doesn't care what grades are on my transcript.

So now I'm in the transition from "micro" to "low stakes", according to PokerStars, and I've been very serious all the way along. You higher-stakes or cash game players can "lol donkaments" all you want. I'll just take the donk money while you're doing whatever you do up on your high horses.

[dblthink]

Wow, I must say, I never expected to get so many responses; This thread certainly seems to have taken on a life of its own.

I get the impression that a lot of people have things to say about addiction and/or obsession with poker. I think it is really great that people have shared their stories, which will now be read by beginners on this forum, who potentially could fall into the same trap.

Particular thanks to:

Nybbles_64 and RyverRat for some good tips (although thanks to RyverRat my fiancée now wants 10% of my winnings).

Foolgizaki, Doc T River, pepitannikita for contribution of your own poker stories. Doc I've took a note on those books you suggested and I think your story portrayed a good message about will power (lol just wrote "will poker" ; that's when you know you have a problem). pepitannikita I appreciate the time you took to write all that, you've suggested so many ideas and made me take addiction more seriously.

Thanks MikeBandy for the link to godot's thread. I think there's some parallel between our stories (despite his story being way more serious!). Being a poor student living on baked beans and noodles for so long has made me really value my money. And I think the excitement that some people get from $5/10 games or whatever, I get from the microstakes - and with it comes the possibility of addiction and self destruction.

I think Poker Clif's posts made it clear that there are still other people too, who take the small games really seriously.

Anyway before this feels too much like an award speech. I have my first update:
----

So far I have not played any poker since making the first post and have agreed with myself to not play until christmas and only if I have set strict times and amounts that I am confident I will stick to.

I have also registered with my universities' counselling service.

It's early days at the moment but I am feeling confident.

Thanks again,

[Doc T River]

You are in college, you should be on holiday break, you have a girlfriend so here is what the doctor orders.

Lots and lots of "unquiet" time with her.

[pepitannikita]

[ QUOTE ]
So far I have not played any poker since making the first post and have agreed with myself to not play until christmas

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow, that's great!

So many people here are in your corner, on the sidelines and wanting to see you achieve success! The counseling idea seems like a very good one also! And no matter what happens, even if you fail in this endeavor, do not become discouraged. Many good things are waiting to happen for you in your life! Have fun and stay in touch. Thanks for the update.