Couples with differing views on religion

[garyjacosta]

My wife is a strong Catholic. Goes to church on Sundays, says her rosary every day. I am atheist. We have 2 young boys. I went to the baptisms.

On Sundays, she brings the oldest to church with her. Personally, I can't wait until she brings the younger one with her also. I get an hour of time to myself Sunday mornings. My only regret is that the wife isn't baptist. That way she'd be in church all day on Sunday and I could watch football in peace!

We have had our heated debates on religion. But, at the end of the day, you have to just respect each other's right to be crazy.

[Duke]

You're going to want to find a new girlfriend. After that, take this sort of thing over to SMP.

[nath]

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How do you know your children will think the same way.

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Because ALL children have so much of their courses in life set very early on by modeling after their parents, and it's often a long and difficult process to undo things that were learned wrongly. Why even give them that to deal with?

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This isn't the same thing as allowing them to do something that IS factually wrong / immoral. It is an opinion that you hold that they might actually disagree with.

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Except that you've basically programmed them from an early age to believe that opinion as the truest truth in life. So, yeah, if they're actually self-aware enough to look past THAT, they may well disagree, but mostly they'll accept it as the way it is, because they learned it so young.

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Maybe you read-over the "strong family" part? Of course there are exceptions to any rule. I'm sure there are atheists out there who raise their children based on terrible morals and beliefs. The ideals of the religion and the ways in which your raise you children must be solid.

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Okay, but looking at your statement like that, I might as well say, "I don't know anyone raised in a strong family who was told to eat bacon and mayonnaise sandwiches growing up ended up being a bad person because of it." Just start throwing in qualifiers until you get a demographic that proves your point, amirite?

I think indoctrinating children into organized Christianity does a great deal more harm than good, and I wouldn't marry someone who wanted to raise our children in an organized religion. It is that big a deal to me.

[kkcountry]

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I have only been through this in a couple of long term relationships and it was not much of a problem. The occasional asking me to go to church with her was kinda awkward...but it was not that big of a deal. I can't imagine getting married to someone who insists on taking the kids to church every week. I assume it would put a big strain on the marriage if the kids ask me why I don't go to church with them and they find out that mommy basically thinks daddy is going to hell.

Ugh, that would suck.

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we i was younger, my dad didn't go to church with my mom, my brothers and myself, and it was never a big deal.

[Jay Riall]

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I think indoctrinating children into organized Christianity does a great deal more harm than good, and I wouldn't marry someone who wanted to raise our children in an organized religion. It is that big a deal to me.

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Maybe if they take them to the Jesus Camp types of church. There are actually Christians who preach love and understanding in this world (though they are obviously not as prominent as the nutty Christians).

I went to Church every Sunday as a kid, and I think it did a world of good for me. I learnt a lot about morality, compassion, forgiveness etc there and I think it was beneficial. At about 13 I stopped going because I thought it was crap, and my parents were fine with this (a little disappointed but fine) and respected my choice. If religion is taught to children in an open-minded way I think it enormously beneficial to their development as good human beings.

[Jay Riall]

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I have only been through this in a couple of long term relationships and it was not much of a problem. The occasional asking me to go to church with her was kinda awkward...but it was not that big of a deal. I can't imagine getting married to someone who insists on taking the kids to church every week. I assume it would put a big strain on the marriage if the kids ask me why I don't go to church with them and they find out that mommy basically thinks daddy is going to hell.

Ugh, that would suck.

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we i was younger, my dad didn't go to church with my mom, my brothers and myself, and it was never a big deal.

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I think too many aethiest parents in these relationships have this irrational (for the most part) fear that their kids are going to be brainwashed or something.

[nath]

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I think indoctrinating children into organized Christianity does a great deal more harm than good, and I wouldn't marry someone who wanted to raise our children in an organized religion. It is that big a deal to me.

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Maybe if they take them to the Jesus Camp types of church. There are actually Christians who preach love and understanding in this world (though they are obviously not as prominent as the nutty Christians).

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Yeah, but that kind of fits into my point-- you can teach peace, love, and understanding without needing it to be in the name of a deity. Christianity is superfluous here. (To clarify, I'm not talking about Jesus, the preacher and philosopher; I'm talking about the fetishization of the crucifixion, the basic assumptions that we are born sinful and can only be redeemed through worshiping an omniscient deity and his representative on Earth's gruesome death, etc.)

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I went to Church every Sunday as a kid, and I think it did a world of good for me. I learnt a lot about morality, compassion, forgiveness etc there and I think it was beneficial. At about 13 I stopped going because I thought it was crap, and my parents were fine with this (a little disappointed but fine) and respected my choice. If religion is taught to children in an open-minded way I think it enormously beneficial to their development as good human beings.

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I went to church every Sunday until I left for college. My parents wouldn't have it any other way. I had decided around age four it was pretty stupid, and tuned it all out, but fortunately for me, I was not born completely amoral and did not need to be taught love and compassion.

In college, however, I did find that marijuana made the Catholic ceremony much more entertaining.

[CalledDownLight]

I don't know what kind of church your wife goes to if they are preaching that you're going to hell for not going. FWIW, thats not standard in Christianity at all (in my experience). I really can't see how having kids go to church with her would be detrimental to them or your relationship with your wife or kids. Seems like you're a little ignorant tbh.

[ardubz]

The morality, compassion and forgiveness can easily be learned by parents who practice these things. I just have a problem with associating "being a good person" with religion.

[Jay Riall]

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I think indoctrinating children into organized Christianity does a great deal more harm than good, and I wouldn't marry someone who wanted to raise our children in an organized religion. It is that big a deal to me.

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Maybe if they take them to the Jesus Camp types of church. There are actually Christians who preach love and understanding in this world (though they are obviously not as prominent as the nutty Christians).

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Yeah, but that kind of fits into my point-- you can teach peace, love, and understanding without needing it to be in the name of a deity. Christianity is superfluous here. (To clarify, I'm not talking about Jesus, the preacher and philosopher; I'm talking about the fetishization of the crucifixion, the basic assumptions that we are born sinful and can only be redeemed through worshiping an omniscient deity and his representative on Earth's gruesome death, etc.)

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Well, if the parent thinks this is a good way to teach morality etc to their kid who are you to disagree? If you raise your child to be self-aware and open-minded I really don't see how teaching them about a deity who preaches love and forgiveness can really be such a bad thing?