Libertarians: Stop Using Logic

[hmkpoker]

Logic is all well and good for arguing politics in anonymous online message boards geared toward logical people, but should you ever find yourself discussing politics in mixed company, this Austrian stuff isn't going to fly. Not one bit. The status quo does not respond at all to logic, and almost exclusively to fallacies.

Rather than fighting the tide, I've decided to swim with it. I've been having a surprising amount of success with IRL political discussion lately, and I've never used anything that could be considered a sound argument.

I highly recommend these tactics if you're ever going to discuss politics in mixed company:

Memorize a bunch of numbers. Take some time and memorize a bunch of pop factoids that might come up in conversation. Or just make them up. Remember, numbers are facts and facts are truth. Very few people are actually bright enough to realize that facts do not automatically imply the first functional theory that they evoke. Heck, that's the only reason mainstream economics, which not only repeatedly fails at demonstrating statistical validity but even makes no attempt to do so, exists.

As long as you're reasonably obscure, no one will ever call you on your numbers, for fear that they might not be right about it. I mean, would you want to correct someone's fact that you're not 100% sure on? Slip in facts here and there and everyone else will feel too dumb to argue with you. Trust me, this works.

Attack the other side. Repeatedly. If you're talking with conservatives, bash away at the democrats until you're sick. If you're talking with liberals, talk about how much you hate Mitt Romney and corporate welfare. The enemy of my enemy must be my friend, so get people on your side.

If you're talking to liberals, act oppressed. People give in to sympathy very, very easily; so much so that we typically give more credit to the political opinions of poor dimwits who can't count past crap, let alone comprehend economics, than we do to people who've actually sat down and thought things through. The federal government has screwed you over in some way, so make a fish story out of it. Talk about how horribly oppressed you feel by something that directly impacts you. (You guys should hear my Neteller story, it's gotten pretty excellent). Or make something up, just do a good job of telling it. Remember, to a liberal, the victim is always right.

This works with conservatives too, just make sure your oppression goes back a little farther, isn't related to drugs or sex, and involves a pulled-yourself-up-by-your-bootstaps story from the 1920's.

Volunteer. This one is brilliant. Spend an hour or two every week volunteering at something that sounds really good, like an AIDS clinic, or something with autistic children. This is the ultimate appeal to authority when you're ready to make your pitch at voluntary society. Remember, most politically-minded people don't volunteer, and most of them feel pretty guilty about it. Slip the V-word in, and they automatically know who's boss. It's also really good when you're trying to debunk voting. "What do I do? I actually get out there and DO stuff!"

Have a PhD. Any appeal to authority is very, very important, even if it's completely unrelated to anything social. People listen to Noam Chomsky, PhD, and half of them don't even know what his degree is in. The 2+2 anarchocapitalism explosion never would have happened if borodog didn't have three letters after his name.