unique girl problem-i guarantee this has never been talked about befor

[Tony_P]

Here is a girl problem unlike one ever posted on OOT or possibly any internet forum before. Cliff’s notes are at the bottom of the post.

A woman and I share a mutual interest in each other, and everything so far is standard. There is just one little issue. She had a serious boyfriend who passed away about three years ago. I’ve known this for some time, but I never knew the circumstances of his death. This week, she told me. It turns out that the guy and two of his friends died in a preventable accident caused entirely by their own stupidity. The accident gathered a lot of local media attention at the time.

Now, here is where it gets interesting. At the time of the accident one of the newspapers ran a couple of editorial and op-ed columns complaining that the media attention given to the accident was slanted to blame the victims. It was very obvious that the incident, unfortunate and tragic as it was, was entirely caused by the idiotic actions of the victims, and I wrote a long and angry letter to the editor bashing the accident victims and pointing out how their stupidity was the only thing to blame for their deaths.

So… should I tell the girl about this, and if so, how on earth do you tell a girl “I remember when your boyfriend died and wrote a letter that was printed in the newspaper about what a moron he was.” If it turns out things go really well with this girl, and we have some kind of relationship it will drive me crazy that I never told her. Help me OOT!

Cliff’s notes: How do you tell a girl that you wrote an angry letter printed in the newspaper about what a moron her dead ex-boyfriend was?

[bennyk]

Depends whether she's still, like, a wreck about what happened, or she could possibly see the humor in it.

After all, it's pretty hilarious, and it's not like she wouldn't have considered the fact that he made a stupid mistake.

If I HAD to tell her, I would just say, "I remember that really well, I even wrote a letter to one of the papers about it because the media made it seem so awful." Or something similar.

And if that doesn't work, you could just break her phone.

[Anacardo]

Does this really need to be discussed? Correct me if I'm wrong, but this seems like one of those classic guilty-conscience scenarios where somebody doesn't need to know something, but you want to "clear the air" just so you can transfer your burden to them. It's a popular play, to be sure, and one I've heard argued for, but it seems like the adult thing to do is just to not mention it. It's no big deal, really, and what possible good could it do to bring it up?

[SackUp]

why do you feel you really need to tell her this? that is a pretty lame story to tell her. I would just let her move on from that situation and go towards the future with the man Tony P! Seriously though, no reason to bring up an ex for any reason.

And damn you benny for already stealing the phone joke!

[yasher]

i wouldnt tell her ever. if you can't get past having written the letter, then get past her and find another chick.

this is on par with asking her how many dudes she's slept with. nothing good can come of it.

good luck tony.

[pshreck]

It sounds like one of those things that even a reasonable person wouldn't get completely over. Find a new girl.

[Dominic]

what are you, high??

you never ever ever EVER tell her about this. Even if you marry her, have 3,000 kids and 18,000 grandkids and on your deathbed when you're 112 years old and you look into the loving eyes of the one woman you've shared your whole life with, you NEVER FUC*ING TELL HER ABOUT THIS.

Ever.

Do I make myself clear?

[Sponger.]

Tony,

tell us more about the accident.

[benza13]

[ QUOTE ]
i wouldnt tell her ever. if you can't get past having written the letter, then get past her and find another chick.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yasher is right.

[talentdeficit]

just find another girl. i don't think this can ever work out well.