jokes you've made IRL that flopped - Page 15

aditya · #**141** 10-26-2007, 01:20 PM

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In 8th grade everyone is just sitting at their desks doing work when one of the girls says "What stinks?" Without even thinking I blurt out, "Close your legs." I look up and everyone is staring at me wide-eyed. After staring back at them for about 3 seconds I put my head down and go back to work.

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This exact thing happened in the 7th grade with me but with just a group of friends. Obv everyone was laughing but me and the girl. I didn't get the joke and the girl was really embarrassed.

solids · #**142** 10-26-2007, 01:22 PM

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i was in the mall with the g/f and heard a mom calling out loud for her little kid, so without thinking i say in a high pitched kidvoice "over here mom!"

the woman looks at me and i start laughing saying "just joking" and she fumes to me "NOT FUNNY!" finds the kid and beats it in public screaming "DON'T EVER WALK AWAY AGAIN"

the whole time i'm [censored] thinking y the [censored] r u shopping if u can't keep tabs on a goddam 6 y/o girl...the cashier asked what was wrong and the woman points to me and said "that [censored] thought it was funny. OH YA REAL FUNNY"

i don't regret it to this day. even the g/f gave me flack for it.

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LOL. I can't stop laughing at this.

En Passant · #**143** 10-26-2007, 01:23 PM

First day of my immigration law class.

Teacher: "What is everyones thoughts on aliens"
Me: "I don't believe in them."

One of those things where it just blurts right out of your mouth before it's too late

Assani Fisher · #**144** 10-26-2007, 01:24 PM

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In a freshman literature class the teacher was going around the room asking every student what they expected from the course...when it got around to me i went off on how the course was gonna change my life forever and how ive been waiting my whole life for this opportunity etc etc in my really serious but sarcastic face. I think i got some grins but that was it. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

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This is totally something I would've done.

*106,146 and counting

traz · #**145** 10-26-2007, 01:25 PM

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First day of my immigration law class.

Teacher: "What is everyones thoughts on aliens"
Me: "I don't believe in them."

One of those things where it just blurts right out of your mouth before it's too late

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yea this is something I would say.

mused01 · #**146** 10-26-2007, 01:26 PM

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I was fairly young, around 18. I'm at a party with a bunch of mates and we're sitting around the living room. Everyones talking, there's music on. My mate next to me starts chatting up this cute girl. He's really working on her and it's making me want to vomit but she's lapping it up. Then the conversation goes something like this:

Her: I really like you. You know, you're really turning me on. (or something to this effect.)

Him: I can tell.

Her: How can you tell?

Him: What's that running down your leg?

Me: Blood?

Nobody was amused.

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maybe i'll reconsider this whole meditating business...

Assani Fisher · #**147** 10-26-2007, 01:38 PM

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I rarely go for a joke or even speak all that much in class or around people I don't know all that well. When I do, though, I usually get laughs, especially because no one expects it. Sometimes, though, that means they're not ready for it; they hear me, think for a minute, look at me funny, then just move on.

Once in an English class we were talking about movie adaptations of books. We went through the standard "book is better" discussion, then to cases where they were equal, then to the other end of the spectrum: the teacher asked for great movies based on awful books. I immediately blurted out "The Passion of the Christ."

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I'm a Christian, and I think I find this more funny than anything else in the thread.

106,145 and counting

CrazyEyez · #**148** 10-26-2007, 01:38 PM

At lunch today, discussing how I'm the only one who doesn't like Culvers burgers.

"You know why they call them 'butter burgers?' Because everything's good there but-her burgers."

Matt Williams · #**149** 10-26-2007, 01:39 PM

This story happened in HS about 12 years ago when Mortal Kombat first came out. Our health teacher told us some woman from social services was coming in the next day and she expected us to be on our best behavior. The next day, this woman comes in and shows us a video on physical abuse. The video shows some guy coming home to his wife and 2 kids; he starts an argument w/ the wife. Evenually he starts hitting her in front of the kids and she falls on the ground and he starts kicking her in the head. It was actually pretty graphic, which surprised me. Anyway, just as he's about to stomp on her head, the social woman pauses the video to talk about it; I say, "Finish Her!". About 1/2 the class gasps in shock, the other half are trying not to laugh. My teacher got pissed and sent me to the principal's office.

scpi10 · #**150** 10-26-2007, 01:41 PM

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This story happened in HS about 12 years ago when Mortal Kombat first came out. Our health teacher told us some woman from social services was coming in the next day and she expected us to be on our best behavior. The next day, this woman comes in and shows us a video on physical abuse. The video shows some guy coming home to his wife and 2 kids; he starts an argument w/ the wife. Evenually he starts hitting her in front of the kids and she falls on the ground and he starts kicking her in the head. It was actually pretty graphic, which surprised me. Anyway, just as he's about to stomp on her head, the social woman pauses the video to talk about it; I say, "Finish Her!". About 1/2 the class gasps in shock, the other half are trying not to laugh. My teacher got pissed and sent me to the principal's office.

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This one is A++