Pregnant GF

[XxGodJrxX]

The OP has mentioned that his gf would never consider adoption. Why? Who knows. But if it isn't an option, then why keep making that point over and over?

[TheDudeAbides]

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Why is everyone still making this out to be, "abort the baby vs. give up your entire life to take a crap job in po-dunk west virginia"

HELLO. There are people willing to raise the freaking kid if you don't want it. You really don't have to kill it, I promise. Is filling out the legal paperwork that scary? It might take some time out of your busy schedule? Is she afraid of being fat for the last 2 months of the pregnancy, or does she just really want to be free to drink and smoke pot for the next 8 months? wtf?

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Are you for serious? You realize the lasting emotional effects that giving a kid up for adoption will have on the mother? You think it's just a matter of her being fat' for the next 8 months? It's a huge commitment.

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You really don't have to kill it

[/ QUOTE ] what do you really think?

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I don't understand how giving a kid up for adoption would lead to larger emotional scars than having an abortion. I've never gone through either situation, so I obviously can't know for sure, but I'd rather bring the kid into the world and give it to a family that desperately wants a child.

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Maybe you're right. But I know a woman who gave her kid up for adoption and she's been racked with guilt ever since. Then again, I'm sure she'd feel at least as much guilt if she had an abortion. It comes down to a matter of personal choice.

[kyleb]

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She gets to decide what happens to his life. If she doesn't want the baby, giving it up for adoption is an easy enough way out. If he doesn't want it, he can't do much can he? He'll have to pay for the baby. No choice whatsoever in the matter. How's that fair?

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He made his choice to accept that this could happen when he [censored] her. If you can't handle the consequences of your actions, don't do it!

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it's all clear

dont have sex unless you want babies

man law?

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Don't get me wrong, I think you did a pretty reasonable job of trying to cover your bases before you had sex, but this is basically the crux of the argument as it relates to in today's society and (more importantly) how courts view parental rights/responsibilities.

Having sex without owning up to the possibility of you becoming a father unexpectedly is fairly immature. I think you realize this, and I think you're freaking out (which is totally fair).

[Matt R.]

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Why is everyone still making this out to be, "abort the baby vs. give up your entire life to take a crap job in po-dunk west virginia"

HELLO. There are people willing to raise the freaking kid if you don't want it. You really don't have to kill it, I promise. Is filling out the legal paperwork that scary? It might take some time out of your busy schedule? Is she afraid of being fat for the last 2 months of the pregnancy, or does she just really want to be free to drink and smoke pot for the next 8 months? wtf?

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Are you for serious? You realize the lasting emotional effects that giving a kid up for adoption will have on the mother? You think it's just a matter of her being fat' for the next 8 months? It's a huge commitment.

Oh and [ QUOTE ]
You really don't have to kill it

[/ QUOTE ] what do you really think?

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Am I being leveled? (first time I have asked that question)

Do you realize the lasting emotional effects that ABORTING the kid will have on the mother? The OP even stated this. There have been about 5 other posts stating this.

Eating right, trying to be healthy, and not smoking pot for 9 months isn't THAT BIG OF A DEAL. Oh, mood swings, boo hoo. Let's suck out its brains into a blender. (Does this clear up what I really think?)

[BCPVP]

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She gets to decide what happens to his life. If she doesn't want the baby, giving it up for adoption is an easy enough way out. If he doesn't want it, he can't do much can he? He'll have to pay for the baby. No choice whatsoever in the matter. How's that fair?

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He made his choice to accept that this could happen when he [censored] her. If you can't handle the consequences of your actions, don't do it!

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it's all clear

dont have sex unless you want babies

man law?

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Much like if you don't want to kill someone while driving drunk, then don't drive drunk.

Or SIIHP.

[Matt R.]

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The OP has mentioned that his gf would never consider adoption. Why? Who knows. But if it isn't an option, then why keep making that point over and over?

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Because given the information, it is clearly the best choice. Sticking your fingers in your ears and going "lalalala" to the best option given so far isn't a good strategy.

Also, the OP has said the girl will not consider abortion at this point. So I guess the entire thread is moot, according to you.

[TheDudeAbides]

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Why is everyone still making this out to be, "abort the baby vs. give up your entire life to take a crap job in po-dunk west virginia"

HELLO. There are people willing to raise the freaking kid if you don't want it. You really don't have to kill it, I promise. Is filling out the legal paperwork that scary? It might take some time out of your busy schedule? Is she afraid of being fat for the last 2 months of the pregnancy, or does she just really want to be free to drink and smoke pot for the next 8 months? wtf?

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Are you for serious? You realize the lasting emotional effects that giving a kid up for adoption will have on the mother? You think it's just a matter of her being fat' for the next 8 months? It's a huge commitment.

Oh and [ QUOTE ]
You really don't have to kill it

[/ QUOTE ] what do you really think?

[/ QUOTE ]

Am I being leveled? (first time I have asked that question)

Do you realize the lasting emotional effects that ABORTING the kid will have on the mother? The OP even stated this. There have been about 5 other posts stating this.

Eating right, trying to be healthy, and not smoking pot for 9 months isn't THAT BIG OF A DEAL. Oh, mood swings, boo hoo. Let's suck it out its brains into a blender. (Does this clear up what I really think?)

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I'm still not clear what you really think. LOL. I'm just saying that both sides have to be considered. And carrying a baby to term while caring for both the mother and unborn child can form some really strong emotional attachments. Based on the OP's description of the mother - I'd say she'd have a really hard time giving the kid up.

[Matt R.]

OK. But that's her choice then. I guess I then do not see the point of the thread other than "OP stays or OP goes". She has her mind made up already. Personally, I think if she won't even consider giving the baby up to a more capable and willing family, OP can make a run for it and shouldn't feel bad about it.

[Tito]

I have a tendency to be brutally honest to everyone. Now it's your turn.

First off, it's YOUR baby whether you like it or not. You [censored] her, you got her pregnant, you suffer the consequences. Secondly, your views are pretty screwed up as far as the fetus not being a baby, but an "opportunity". The fetus IS a baby, just not a fully developed one. However, it is still a living organism.

You really should rethink your situation and make a decision that would be best for both of you involving the child. It is ultimately up to your GF whether you keep the baby or not. Adoption isn't a bad choice if you are both not ready to be parents. It's probably actually your best choice. But to say that the rest of your life is ruined is a pathetic excuse and IMO you're a self-centered, piece of [censored] for thinking this way.

I've never been through the same situation as you, but I think I can relate to how you're feeling. I am not married but will be very soon. My GF was married before and has a little girl. I am white, my GF is Filipino, and her child is half black. I grew up in a hick town and my parents have the same take on interracial relationships as probably most of this forum's parents do. I don't feel the same way they do, but it is a little tough knowing what they are thinking about the decisions that I am making. I'm getting way off topic here. My point is that I love my GF and plan on marrying her someday. I knew that she had a child when we started dating, and I found out later that the child came from two ethnic backgrounds that were very different from my own. I had plans and dreams for my own life and felt a little cheated out of those dreams because I love my GF but she screwed up her life and sometimes I feel like I'm paying the consequences by staying with her. But I love her. And if my life is what I have to sacrifice to make her happy and give her and her child the life that they deserve, then that's what I'll do. That doesn't mean that I don't wish things were different, it just means that I'm not going to puss out and run just because certain aspects of my life do not match the way I had planned it. If everyone, everyday, could just take the time to think of a way that they could make someone else happy and stop being so selfish, the world would be a MUCH better place.

If you decide to have this baby and continue to support your GF in whatever she chooses, even if that means your life takes a drastic turn, then I commend you and hold a DEEP amount of respect for you. You are truly a man.
But if you don't, and you cut and run, you are worthless and you're a pussy and I hope your balls fall off. And I guarantee you the day will come when you wish you had made the right decision. You are blessed to have the ability to bring a new life into this world, and one that carries your name. Embrace it, care for it, and show it all the love you have in you. You won't regret it. Best to you and your GF.

EDIT: Response to OP, not kyleb

[HolyFimFed]

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She gets to decide what happens to his life. If she doesn't want the baby, giving it up for adoption is an easy enough way out. If he doesn't want it, he can't do much can he? He'll have to pay for the baby. No choice whatsoever in the matter. How's that fair?

[/ QUOTE ]
He made his choice to accept that this could happen when he [censored] her. If you can't handle the consequences of your actions, don't do it!

[/ QUOTE ]

it's all clear

dont have sex unless you want babies

man law?

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Don't get me wrong, I think you did a pretty reasonable job of trying to cover your bases before you had sex, but this is basically the crux of the argument as it relates to in today's society and (more importantly) how courts view parental rights/responsibilities.

Having sex without owning up to the possibility of you becoming a father unexpectedly is fairly immature. I think you realize this, and I think you're freaking out (which is totally fair).

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I understand where you're coming from, and I'm not trying to skirt my responsibilities - but I am not going to get locked into a family for the rest of my life over this. It would be completely unhealthy for everyone involved.

I really did have my bases covered. She was on the pill - if she wasnt I would have used condoms. She repeatedly reassured me that if the situation arose, abortion would be the answer. At first when I saw the + on the strip, I wasnt even worried. I figured we've been planning against this for 1.5 yrs now and we both know what needed to be done.

I'm not going to disappear, and I'm not going to let the child grow up poor and underprivelaged.

But I am not going to be forced into this life.



Saying something like "everybody who has sex knows the risks, man up OP" is pretty broad and short-sighted. I see more "try to get a 3-some" "bang a chick on myspace" "NFSW!!!" threads on this forum than I can count. Sex is not just for making babies, and I think I was more responsible than most are about it.