Favorite thing to say when someone bitches : "You sucked out"

[LuckyLloyd]

BOOM

[townierailer]

If I want to be a dick I set my FTP avatar to happy, and tell them "It's not my fault you suck"

"Poker is about everything but the cards" works wonders too

[futuredoc85]

i also like "I TARPED YOU SO [censored] HARD!"

[Dids]

OH [censored] WRONG THREAD

[IronFly]

"lol"

[Coffee]

1/2 NL live game. I straddle for 4 bucks, and get 3 limpers around to me, including the Volcano Tilt dude at the other end of the table. I look down and see that I've woken up with QQ...so I raise to 20, which is pretty standard in this game. Volcano Tilt is my only caller. Hand plays out with me betting 2/3s of the pot the whole way, and MHIG. VT goes ballistic, screaming at the top of his lungs, but seems more angry at the world and poker than me, so I say nothing.

The next round, I straddle again. I get three limpers again, including VT. I look down and amazingly see QQ yet again. So...as before, I raise to 20, and VT is the only caller. Hand plays out precisely as it did the round before, and VT goes absolutely apeshit. He is screaming, cursing, and making the biggest scene possible. If this had been a real casino, I'm sure he would've been escorted out, but this was in a club game in Dallas, so you get a bit more leeway. Anyway, he's still raging, but starts to walk back to the table. As he does, he looks me in the eye and says,

"How the [censored] do you have Queens twice in the straddle???!!!"

Without thinking, I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind,

"That's just how I roll."

[kindergartencop]

"YEAH POCKET FIVES FOR LIFE [censored],MORE MONEY FOR MY GRILL FUND"

[TheJokerIsWild]

"I play the man, not the cards"

[CaptainBusto]

"im just here to gamble, yo"

[EricDrawback]

"I knew it was coming" is my personal favorite followed by "send the cheese". That always seems to tilt people like nothing else.